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The legal tampering weekend that was

Homer

Welcome back to work.  The place where you do most of your non-work Internet perusing while you otherwise should be working.

While you weren’t working, you may have missed some news from the NFL’s weekend of legal tampering, where teams can negotiate but make no offers — and where it’s free to show “interest” in a player, which in turn gives those who were working this weekend something to post on Twitter.

What it means remains to be seen, but it was something to post on Twitter.  So here we go.

The Packers paid CB Sam Shields a lot of money.

Someone will be paying CB Alterraun Verner even more.

Michael and Martellus Bennett could be roommates again.

OL Rodger Saffold was a priority for the Rams, but he’s still leaving.

LB Karlos Dansby could be leaving the Cardinals, again.

LT Jared Veldheer may be leaving the Raiders, for the Cardinals.

DE Jared Allen tells the Vikings he’s leaving, after their contract with DE Everson Griffen made it clear Allen won’t be back.

RB Darren Sproles will be leaving the Saints, one way or the other.

RB Chris Johnson will be leaving the Titans, one way or the other.

And he’ll potentially blame someone else for it.

LB Lance Briggs knows he’ll eventually be leaving the Bears.

CB Antonio Cromartie has left the Jets, but he could be back.

CB Vontae Davis may be staying with the Colts.  (Which would keep him from having to call his grandmother, and which would allow him to continue to prepare really hard for Tom Brady.)

LT Branden Albert could be joining the team that once prompted Vontae to want to call his grandmother.

Red Bryant has joined the team with the helmet that looks like a black and white cookie.

WR Hakeem Nicks makes a pitch to play for the Colts, Panthers, and Chargers.

He also makes it clear there’s nothing wrong with his foot or knee.

But teams are more concerned about the thing perched on his neck.

Teams are intrigued by but concerned about CB Aqib Talib.

Carson Palmer’s kid brother still has a job, in addition to the whole “when should I piss during a movie?” thing.

The Bucs (along with about 25 percent of the league) are interested in DE Michael Johnson.

The Mean Machine has ongoing interest in Ravens players.

Jimmy Graham needs an explanation.

Mark Ingram needs an explanation, too.

Rashard Mendenhall provides an explanation that perhaps no one really needed.

Former Bucs OG Davin Joseph needs a job.

The Texans are interested in QB Ryan Mallett, unless they aren’t.

No one is interested in running backs, even Ben Tate.

QB Mike Vick is no longer interested in the Vikings or the Jaguars.

Pat McAfee is interested in punting and kicking for the Colts.

Cowboys coach Jason Garrett possibly was interested in checking out a potential 2015 employer.

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11 Responses to “The legal tampering weekend that was”
  1. Punk says: Mar 10, 2014 9:36 AM

    Contra Davis may be the most lovable guy in the legue.

  2. campcouch says: Mar 10, 2014 9:40 AM

    Ha!

  3. yooperman says: Mar 10, 2014 9:47 AM

    Nice picture of Jerry Jones without makeup!

  4. yooperman says: Mar 10, 2014 9:49 AM

    That was mean and uncalled for, sorry Homer.

  5. gbmickey says: Mar 10, 2014 9:51 AM

    The signing of Griffen for the queens not even worth mentioning.

  6. txfinfan says: Mar 10, 2014 9:53 AM

    As everyone holds their collective breath waiting for the sounds of heads being chopped, pens scratching on paper, and “Benjamins” being tossed around like the rest of the economy isn’t tanking…

  7. fargovikesfan says: Mar 10, 2014 10:16 AM

    that’s ok Vick, the Vikings were never really interested in you to begin with…

  8. thestrategyexpert says: Mar 10, 2014 10:34 AM

    Yeah this job isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. They told me I could meet a lot of girls as a professional surfer, but I’m not seeing that many.

  9. aldante66 says: Mar 10, 2014 11:07 AM

    I hear 36 contracts were signed this weekend with invisible ink. The ink is timed to come through the paper at exaclty 4:02 PM on March 11th.

    This whole tampering is really crazy. Of course money is being tossed around and of course offers are being made there just not being put on paper.

    Doesn’t take a rocket science player to add up all the offers and by Tuesday have called the best offer he likes and say’s draw the papers up I’ll sign on Tuesday.

    This whole thing is stupid.

  10. aldante66 says: Mar 10, 2014 11:10 AM

    Please totally ignore any ‘The Packers are interested in Stories you hear’. Ted is so cheap his own players are bailing for free agency, except Shields who they gave the farm too.

    Most agents have told there people to avoid Ted, he is a waste of time and will low ball the hell out of you so don’t go down that path.

    There already were some very fine players released that could have helped than team and not a peep out of Ted, and he has 38 million to spend.

  11. ivanpavlov0000 says: Mar 10, 2014 6:56 PM

    I love the Longest Yard joke!

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