Silverdome urinals for sale, but don’t ask Barry Sanders to sign one

AP

What do you get for the Lions fan who has everything? If he’s already got the Lions’ terrible 2013 calendar or a shirt commemorating their undefeated 2008 preseason, you could buy him a Silverdome urinal.

Yes, the owners of the Pontiac Silverdome, the once state-of-the-art stadium that has been largely vacant since the Lions moved to Ford Field in 2002, are selling off its parts to collectors. Those parts include everything from stadium seats (because who wouldn’t want to sit in an uncomfortable stadium seat while watching a Lions game from the comfort of home?) to the scoreboard (because we all have room in our houses for stadium scoreboards) to the urinals (because . . . well, I’m not sure why).

Now, the bad news: That Lions fan who has everything would surely want that urinal to be signed by the greatest player ever to play at the Silverdome, Barry Sanders. But Sanders has already made clear that if you see a Barry Sanders autographed urinal for sale on eBay, it’s a fake.

Sanders wrote on Twitter, “FYI – I am not signing urinals.”

There surely are fans crazy enough to buy a Barry Sanders-autographed Silverdome urinal. Heck, I’m one of those fans. I grew up in the Detroit area and saw my first NFL game at the Silverdome (and I even saw Hulk Hogan body slam Andre the Giant there at WrestleMania III). I’d be willing to pay good money for a Barry Sanders-autographed Silverdome urinal.

But it won’t happen. If I decide to splurge on a Silverdome urinal, it won’t have a Barry Sanders signature. Maybe I could get Billy Sims to autograph it.