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Saturday morning one-liners

Denver Broncos running back Knowshon Moreno celebrates scoring a Denver touchdown in the second quarter of their NFL football game against the Pittsburgh Steelers in Denver Reuters

RB Knowshon Moreno’s visit to the Dolphins ended without a contract.

The wife of Hall of Fame Bills QB Jim Kelly says that his cancer is “aggressive” and “starting to spread.”

Texas A&M WR Mike Evans will visit the Jets before the draft.

Patriots QB Tom Brady and wife are selling their fairly new California mansion (with moat) and permanently relocating to Boston, where they’re building a 14,300-square foot mansion (which may or may not have a moat).

Are the Ravens looking for a new backup quarterback?

In Pittsburgh, WR Lance Moore is expected to play in the slot.

Even with QB Greg McElroy retiring, the Bengals still have four quarterbacks under contract.

With the Browns not landing QB Matt Schaub, QB Brian Hoyer moves closer to reclaiming the starting job.

QB Matt Schaub leaves the Texans with a 46-42 record as a starter.

Bob Kravitz of the Indianapolis Star believes the NFL should require drug testing for Colts owner Jim Irsay.

Old Dominion K Jarod Brown could be the replacement for Rob Bironas with the Titans.

ESPN fielded and answered several Jaguars-related questions on Friday.

From the “Slow News Day in Albany” file, the local paper reports that former Chargers QB Dan Fouts recently got a ticket for going 40 in a 25-mph zone.

Chiefs LB Tamba Hali has created a music video, with all sorts of colorful and profane language that he’d better not use on the field this season.

A 63-year-old man pleaded guilty to selling fake tickets to a 2013 Broncos game to an undercover officer.

The Raiders website has plenty of stuff about the arrival of QB Matt Schaub.

New Cowboys QB Brandon Weeden is happy to have a fresh start in Dallas.

Giants P Steve Weatherford answered the call on Twitter from the wife of a leukemia patient.

Redskins G.M. Bruce Allen believes the organization got complacent in 2013, after a 10-6 season in 2012.

QB Mike Vick said farewell to Eagles fans with a special column in the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Lions fans are very happy about the arrival of WR Golden Tate.

The Packers still have $14 million in cap space.

Vikings WR Jerome Simpson avoided jail time after it was determined he violated probation stemming from a 2012 felony drug conviction.

As NFL owners prepare to convene in Orlando to consider possible changes for 2014, former Bears coach Mike Ditka has a simple message:  “[D]on’t mess with the rules of the game.”

When Mercer beat Duke, Falcons WR Roddy White was forced to cough up season tickets on the 50 yard line.

Saints coach Sean Payton recently visited the West Virginia Capitol for the signing of a tourism bill that provides tax credits to The Greenbrier for hosting a portion of the team’s training camp in 2014.

Buccaneers WR Vincent Jackson recently took a ride in an F-16.

New Panthers WR Jerricho Cotchery supposedly “chose” to not wear No. 89.  (As if the Panthers would have let him.  Then again, given the way they handled Steve Smith’s departure, maybe they would have.)

The 49ers may want CB Chris Cook to be their Richard Sherman.  (That sound you hear is every Vikings fan laughing until the milk they put on their Post Toasties came out their noses.)

Cardinals G.M. Steve Keim says RB Jonathan Dwyer is a “big banger.”

The Seattle Times wants to know if Seahawks fans favor a Pete Carroll/Mark Sanchez reunion in Seattle.

Should the Rams pursue RB Chris Johnson?

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13 Responses to “Saturday morning one-liners”
  1. lovemyqueens says: Mar 22, 2014 10:49 AM

    Chris Cook a Richard Sherman? He’s not even a Marcus Sherels lmao. At least that kid got a pick.

  2. russellwilsonismymvp says: Mar 22, 2014 10:56 AM

    Pete Carroll/Mark Sanchez reunion? No. Something tells me he’ll get picked up by Jim Harbaugh instead. Frisco has been looking for a Kaepernick back-up since Smith got traded.

  3. eoneil32 says: Mar 22, 2014 11:23 AM

    Gabbert buddy. Reading this everyday is highly enjoyable. MF-you are the best.

  4. auscon4 says: Mar 22, 2014 12:15 PM

    I highly concur. Not to be a rabid homer… this is great information that you guys provide @ PFT.

  5. magnusthe1st says: Mar 22, 2014 12:26 PM

    Living in the heart of the NFC North territory, I think I can speak for all NFC North team fans to say we’re all glad that piece of human filth is out of the division.

    Good luck, San Fran, with that a-hole. The only production anyone ever saw from him that lived up to the title of the Black & Blue division was, sadly, his girlfriend.

  6. puckthefatriots says: Mar 22, 2014 12:34 PM

    Hate to see Weeden leave Cleveland, but they are now the frontrunners for Sanchez. Factory of Sadness continues.

  7. pacificnw7722 says: Mar 22, 2014 12:39 PM

    The 49ers may want CB Chris Cook to be their Richard Sherman.

    NOT in this lifetime……

  8. chawk12thman says: Mar 22, 2014 1:26 PM

    Best Wishes to Jim Kelly and his Family.

  9. fumblenuts says: Mar 22, 2014 1:37 PM

    Chris Cook?

    It will be funny to watch WR Percy Harvin run right past this dude….

  10. browns4ever says: Mar 22, 2014 1:41 PM

    Hoyer’s The Man in CLE! All you Browns Haters will be eating your words! Come on Browns Backers across this country, let the Browns Haters know we’re mad as Hell & we’re not gonna take it anymore!!!

  11. sonoco says: Mar 22, 2014 2:33 PM

    The Chris Cook statement was some ESPN scout’s take . . . not the 49ers.

  12. andreboy1 says: Mar 22, 2014 4:43 PM

    Chris Cook doesn’t watch the 49ers. They run one of the most vanilla defenses in the league because they have great players.

    They almost never run single high. And that won’t change because they signed a 4th CB to the roster.

    This is one scouts take and an idiot CB who doesn’t know what he is talking about.

    There is no chance in hell that the 49ers are going to mold their D around Chris Freaking Cook.

  13. seaeagle707 says: Mar 22, 2014 4:57 PM

    I hope that Gov. Inslee signs a law stating that if Mark Sanchez crosses the State’s borders, he will be arrested on sight and incarcerated for at least the next ten months.

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