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Saturday morning one-liners

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The Bills secured preliminary approval for a $3 million class-action settlement arising from allegations that the team’s mobile alert service sent out more texts than the recipients had agreed to receive.

RB Chris Johnson says the Jets told him Geno Smith and Mike Vick will battle it out for the quarterback job.

Count Northern Colorado QB Seth Lobato among the many signal-callers whom the Patriots have examined this year.

The Dolphins seem to have a real interest in Miami QB Stephen Morris.

Ravens DT Terrence Cody says LB Rolando McClain has “humbled himself” and is “ready to play football.”

Steelers DE Nick Williams is working his way back from a knee injury that wiped out his 2013 season.

Bengals strength coach Chip Morton is looking forward to the expansion of the weight room.

Browns QB Brian Hoyer participated in a celebrity cooking competition.

Jaguars LS Carson Tinker wrote a book about his experience in the Tuscaloosa tornado of 2011, which claimed the life of his girlfriend.

Injuries hit the Texans harder in 2013 than in 2012.

Colts DE Bjoern Werner recently visited practice at Kentucky.

Titans LB Shaun Phillips strongly prefers the 3-4 to the 4-3.

The Raiders have finalized their exhibition schedule, which includes a nationally-televised game against the Packers.

Former Chargers QB Jesse Freitas, 62, will spend up to three years in a locked mental-health facility after a history of setting fires and other crimes.

The Chiefs use iPad playbooks during the regular season; they may experiment with using them in the offseason, too.

Broncos defensive coordinator Jack Del Rio visited Oregon State practice to watch his son, Luke.

Eagles QB Nick Foles will serve as honorary captain for the home opener of the Philadelphia Soul.

Redskins WR DeSean Jackson reportedly celebrated his arrival in D.C. this week with a $20,000 bottle of champagne.  (Who says he doesn’t get it?)

Giants P Steve Weatherford accepted a high-school prom invitation via Twitter.

Cowboys fans aren’t happy that DL Jason Hatcher left for Washington.

The Vikings are kicking in another $1.2 million to get bigger and better video screens at their new stadium.

The Bears are sniffing around former Lindenwood CB Pierre Desir.

The failure of Lions DT Ndamukong Suh to show up for the offseason program is bad; the team’s apathy about his absence is worse.

Should Packers Hall of Famer Bart Starr gotten more of a chance when coaching the team?

After undergoing back surgery last August, Panthers DT Linden Gaydosh couldn’t sit for a month.

Buccaneers S Keith Tandy will host a football camp this summer in his hometown of Hopkinsville, Kentucky.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution has a new mock draft that predicts the Falcons will trade up to No. 2 for OT Greg Robinson.

Saints CB Champ Bailey will make his public debut Tuesday at a local celebrity golf tournament.

The turf has been installed at the 49ers new stadium.

The Seahawks will be keeping a close eye on the development of RB Christine Michael this offseason.

Rams LB Jo-Lonn Dunbar calls 2013 a “wacky year.”

The new video boards being installed at the Cardinals stadium will be triple the size of the original screens.

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5 Responses to “Saturday morning one-liners”
  1. scmems07 says: Apr 19, 2014 12:09 PM

    “geno smith and michael vick will battle it out for the quarterback job”

    sounds even funnier when you actually say it and rekey it.

  2. radar8 says: Apr 19, 2014 12:21 PM

    THe post about D Jax celebrating with a $20K bottle is hilarious.

    It’s a 6-liter bottle of mediocre champagne in a gold-etched/plated bottle. THe bottle is worth far more than the champagne. That’s just like DJax….. It’s all show. No substance.

    btw…The bottle retails for $5K, so DJax also got ripped-off

  3. vincelombardisghost says: Apr 19, 2014 3:14 PM

    Bart Starr got nine years as Packers HC. Enough time to prove himself as a coach and didn’t.

  4. deltaoracle says: Apr 19, 2014 4:15 PM

    Starr has admitted he wasn’t ready to be a head coach. He’ll have to settle for being one of the best QBs ever.

  5. cjas9298 says: Apr 19, 2014 7:16 PM

    Celebrities aren’t asked to sign things they paid for. Whoopsie daisy!

    But, whatever–we do get it. Desean Jackson is the latest boogieman whose every action and inaction well be scorned. We totally get it. It’s a story as old as this republic; and it is predictable and dull.

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