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Federal court in Florida accepts hoax lawsuit against Manziel

Johnny Manziel AP

Yes, Johnny Manziel technically has been sued for sexual harassment in a Florida federal court.

No, it’s not a real lawsuit.  It’s a hoax.  An obvious hoax.  A hoax so obvious that the clerk of the court should have refused to dignify it with a date stamp or with an assignment of the case to both a judge and a magistrate.

Courts typically accept whatever comes in, and then they sort it all out later.  But it may be time for courts to revisit that approach, given that anyone can put together anything and send it in and have it become officially filed — which gives it a weird sense of credibility and legitimacy, even when it’s clearly a hoax.

The lawsuit, which was filed on May 16, 2014, was sent to us last night by a reader.  The named plaintiff is Samantha Schacher.  Whoever drafted the hoax lawsuit has tried to create the impression that it’s the same Samantha Schacher who serves as an HLN contributor and co-host of the network’s Dr. Drew show.  (There’s a reference in the lawsuit to Manziel suggesting a “threesome with Dr. Drew.”)

Before sharing any specifics from the hoax lawsuit, I need to point out once again that it’s clearly a hoax.

“Defendant Manziel has been sexually harassing me since Valentine’s Day, 2013, calling me non-stop on my Samsung Phone and sending me naked selfies of himself showing me his penis,” the lawsuit alleges.  (The folks at Samsung may or may not appreciate the gratuitous plug.)

The lawsuit — again, it’s a hoax — also claims that Manziel sent a naked picture of himself with his penis in a hotdog bun, that he sent a photo with a “ruler next to his erect penis that measured 4-1/2 inches,” that he “keeps asking me to strip for him at his boy, Lebron James’ crip [sic] in Miami,” that Manziel “told me he does steroids and lifts weights,” and that “if another man ever talks to me, he would beat them up and get away with it because he’s famous.”

The lawsuit — again, hoax — says that Manziel confessed that he cheated on his college exams, that he’ll “get a penis enlargement and be my Long John Silvers [sic],” that he smoked marijuana before games in the locker room, that he received “lavish gifts” from Texas A&M, that he’d buy the plaintiff “sex toys with secret money Kevin Sumlin provides him,” and that he “refers to his penis as his Vienna Sausage.”

The lawsuit — again, hoax — says that “Judereon” Clowney sent Manziel a picture of Clowney’s nine-inch penis, and that Manziel showed the picture to the plaintiff and “asked me if I could handle that monster.”

“I had to see a Psychologist because I have nightmares of Manziel’s penis,” the lawsuit — hoax — states.  “Manziel sent me a homemade video of himself at Walt Disney World on ‘It’s a Small Word’ ride in the Magic Kingdom, and while the song is on, he puts the camera down unbuttons his pants, pulls his penis out and jingles [sic] his penis to the music.  ESPN owns Disney and ESPN promotes Manziel, knowing he did this in ‘It’s a Small World.'”

Again, the lawsuit is a hoax.  It never should have been stamped for filing, and it should be thrown out of court today.

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106 Responses to “Federal court in Florida accepts hoax lawsuit against Manziel”
  1. xman05 says: May 23, 2014 10:05 AM

    So… is this a hoax?

  2. wundabredd says: May 23, 2014 10:07 AM

    This may be a hoax.

  3. nykfanwakemeupin2015 says: May 23, 2014 10:07 AM

    People really are sad and pathetic…

  4. deezyny says: May 23, 2014 10:08 AM

    This made my day, hilarious.

  5. Steeley McBeam says: May 23, 2014 10:10 AM

    Man I hope this turns out to be true so bad. This is just tooooo good haha

  6. thestrategyexpert says: May 23, 2014 10:10 AM

    Yeah I have a solution. How about a court system for courts to reconcile the stuff they get wrong or the crimes and inconveniences they commit. If they send you a notice to appear at a specific time and they aren’t remotely close to ready for you for hours, then they should have to pay a stiff fine for every person they do that to until they can figure out how to coordinate a schedule. In other news, I don’t like the court system in this country, we need to bring them to justice so they can be better at doing the same.

  7. nyninerfan says: May 23, 2014 10:12 AM

    Hahahaha

  8. awdlmd says: May 23, 2014 10:12 AM

    I guess we shouldn’t make too many assumptions based on his shoe size and hand measurements.

  9. onlysane1intheroom says: May 23, 2014 10:12 AM

    Hilarious!

  10. bpjensen says: May 23, 2014 10:12 AM

    Might be time for the filer of the lawsuit to move on from a psychologist and go straight to a psychiatrist. #meds

  11. maestro1899 says: May 23, 2014 10:14 AM

    It may be a hoax, but some of it sounds believable!

    4.5

  12. dickjagger says: May 23, 2014 10:14 AM

    Oh man… Thank you PFT for providing me with a much needed laugh this morning. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while and the “hot dog bun” thing immediately mad me think of “Bachelor Party,” so I got a few more laughs.

  13. walkinginthewasteland says: May 23, 2014 10:15 AM

    Maybe the court clerk was an Alabama fan.

  14. realnflmaster says: May 23, 2014 10:15 AM

    Another women who thinks she can get away with defaming a man and will suffer no consequences, but will the media be up in arms about it? Nope.

  15. daburgher says: May 23, 2014 10:16 AM

    Seems legit to me

  16. omen316 says: May 23, 2014 10:16 AM

    Hahahahahaha it’s funny, cause it’s true!

  17. joeflaccoallday says: May 23, 2014 10:16 AM

    Smh people messing up Johnny name. He trying win the job I really hate people.

  18. ivanpavlov0000 says: May 23, 2014 10:18 AM

    Is the person who filed the hoax subject to any legal repercussions?

  19. ravens634 says: May 23, 2014 10:19 AM

    plot twist, it isnt a hoax at all.

  20. jbl429 says: May 23, 2014 10:20 AM

    I don’t know why, but I believe her, yo.

  21. clayshair says: May 23, 2014 10:21 AM

    Vienna sausage is more than 4 1/2 ” right?

  22. clintblairjr says: May 23, 2014 10:22 AM

    This is by far written by a creative genius! Lol do not read this while drinking coffee!

  23. westyh says: May 23, 2014 10:25 AM

    Do not put more burdens on the clerk! Sanction the hell out of whoever filed it.

  24. opinevain says: May 23, 2014 10:26 AM

    Pathetic

  25. mvp43 says: May 23, 2014 10:26 AM

    Four and a half ………..

  26. phooteballs says: May 23, 2014 10:27 AM

    The real vitcim here is obviously that hot dog bun.

  27. deeroi says: May 23, 2014 10:27 AM

    I’m just going to go on a limb and say this is a hoax…..

  28. whiteknightblackheart says: May 23, 2014 10:30 AM

    I hope he gets an endorsement deal from Vienna Sausages.

  29. ragnarthegreat says: May 23, 2014 10:32 AM

    So someone deliberately wastes the time of public servants which we all pay for with our taxes. After enough time and money is spent on this obvious hoax, it will be thrown out. How about this? How about we make filing obviously false claims in court is a crime as it incurs costs, wastes time and diverts resources from real work. Then we arrest the person who filed this and spend that time and energy prosecuting them.

  30. tremoluxman says: May 23, 2014 10:37 AM

    Hold on here, let’s not be hasty. As Fox News repeatedly asserts with their famous ‘some are saying’ line, some are saying this is for real. I don’t know and I’m not saying it’s true, but it does raise questions. After all, some are saying it may be true, so you can’t dismiss it out of hand. I think it should be thoroughly investigated. Gotta be Fair and Balanced.

  31. citizenstrange says: May 23, 2014 10:38 AM

    It’s a hoax! (said in Admiral Ackbar voice)

  32. skywalker0028 says: May 23, 2014 10:38 AM

    This is funny as hell!

  33. heyitsmejosh says: May 23, 2014 10:42 AM

    I dont know, it sounds pretty legit to me

  34. pats4win says: May 23, 2014 10:44 AM

    Florio – You owe me a new keyboard

  35. b62850 says: May 23, 2014 10:44 AM

    In my opinion whom ever filed this should be slapped with a defamation law suit. The courts should have some accountability and maybe some liability to letting people file something like this.

  36. kingleo14 says: May 23, 2014 10:45 AM

    This is to finny!! It’s a small world after all! Lol

  37. jfont1584 says: May 23, 2014 10:46 AM

    Woah, i cant believe Manziel would do that! what was he thinking?!?!

  38. mattyheisman says: May 23, 2014 10:47 AM

    I for one am very happy they’re proceeding with this. The prosecution must have those pictures of his weiner in a hot dog bun

  39. clevelandrocksyourface says: May 23, 2014 10:51 AM

    Johnny Football harasses like a BOSS!

    Seriously, somebody’s going on probation for this and it ain’t Johnny.

  40. dalfanforever says: May 23, 2014 10:52 AM

    Smell that? That’s fresh cash….

  41. dannersthemanners says: May 23, 2014 10:52 AM

    LOL. Hilarious.

  42. whatjusthapped says: May 23, 2014 10:53 AM

    Brett Favre does not appreciate other QB’s encroaching on his fame in the cell phone dept.

  43. vmannj says: May 23, 2014 11:03 AM

    Must have been a small hotdog bun.

  44. couldntthinkofaname says: May 23, 2014 11:05 AM

    I would think the filer would reference Ball Park Franks instead of Vienna Sausages.

  45. sdnative1904 says: May 23, 2014 11:09 AM

    A Floida man accepts hoax law suit.

  46. serf162 says: May 23, 2014 11:10 AM

    The court can impose a filing ban requiring leave of the court to commence any subsequent actions. This does in fact happen from time to time. No need to overhaul the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure or empower intake clerks to dismiss complaints sua sponte.

  47. salsendardo says: May 23, 2014 11:11 AM

    It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears
    It’s a world of hopes and a world of fears
    There’s so much that we share that it’s time we’re aware
    It’s a small world after all

  48. whatnojets says: May 23, 2014 11:17 AM

    Vienna Sausage?? How about a “Wiener Schnitzl?

  49. Laying A Blog says: May 23, 2014 11:18 AM

    The real lawsuit is going to come against Schacher from “Judereon” Clowney for defamation, to wit: the vast understatement of the size of his “monster.”

  50. bobbyhoying says: May 23, 2014 11:19 AM

    I know it’s probably politically incorrect, but this had me doubled over laughing.

  51. thelastpieceofcheese says: May 23, 2014 11:22 AM

    where there’s smoke, there’s fire

  52. audient says: May 23, 2014 11:25 AM

    Clerks accept filings and courts rule on them.

    This means that once in awhile something this ridiculous will get filed. That’s not the clerk’s fault. That’s the fault of the person who filed it.

    Whomever filed this hoax lawsuit should be sanctioned by the court.

  53. frankfordyellowjackets says: May 23, 2014 11:27 AM

    That’s hysterical! Great!!!

  54. granadafan says: May 23, 2014 11:28 AM

    When they say “size doesn’t matter”, we’re still talking about him being too short to see over the offensive line, right?

  55. dfields4 says: May 23, 2014 11:29 AM

    I am crying I’m laughing so hard. This is absolutely hilarious.

  56. elmobad says: May 23, 2014 11:31 AM

    doesn’t matter.. he was ACCUSED..

    6 game suspension..

    keep it fair Goodell

  57. stigman2012 says: May 23, 2014 11:34 AM

    Let’s try this this way.

    No one should advocate a judicial system–criminal or civil–where a court can decide, without hearing one shred of evidence, if a lawsuit has enough merit to go forward.

    It’s called due process.

  58. bigsowce604 says: May 23, 2014 11:35 AM

    I hope they hang whoever filed this b.s

  59. bamacharm says: May 23, 2014 11:37 AM

    Yeah, hilarious (sarcasm) as long as you’re not the victim of the hoax. I really hope the identity of the moron who did this is revealed so that he has to spend the rest of his miserable existence worrying if the next person he meets is the one who is going to give him that whipping he deserves. Who knows? Maybe he and Johnny can meet one another someday, face-to-face.

  60. logast says: May 23, 2014 11:46 AM

    Bleacher Report seems to have fallen for it.

  61. deadeye says: May 23, 2014 11:49 AM

    Every good hoax has a grain of truth mixed in…

  62. 8to80texansblog says: May 23, 2014 11:50 AM

    I would love to see the jokes and pranks he’s going to get today from his new teammates.

    I would fill his car with hot dog buns and Vienna sausages.

  63. felcus says: May 23, 2014 11:53 AM

    I lol”d.

  64. dkalev says: May 23, 2014 11:54 AM

    Is this what espn was raving about when they were talking about his “measurables”?
    Looks like he might actually be too small for this league…
    He really needs to size up to the competition…
    So now instead of it being fourth and inches it can be fourth and Manziel… First and clowney from the 20.

  65. somethinghappeninghere says: May 23, 2014 11:54 AM

    Funniest thing ever posted here, and maybe the entire internet! For a minute there I thought the hoax lawsuit would end with this: According to the suit, Manziel claimed, “The Miami Dolphins made me do it!”

  66. cobibones13 says: May 23, 2014 11:59 AM

    Wow!!!
    What was lil’ Johnny thinking?

  67. nite2al says: May 23, 2014 12:01 PM

    Johnny is always in the news.

  68. cptbuff says: May 23, 2014 12:01 PM

    I think this post gives the lawsuit some legitimacy! Even though its clearly stated many times to be a hoax, the content of the lawsuit is still repeated many times – specifically Manziel’s uh, size.

  69. lefflerman says: May 23, 2014 12:11 PM

    You know what they say about men with big feet and big hands? They wear big gloves and big shoes. The guy is a lightning rod but if his game carries to the NFL, Browns fans will not care what he’s packing!

  70. sean6886 says: May 23, 2014 12:21 PM

    This sure sounds like a hoax & if it is, I hope whoever did it gets sued & some jail time/community service for wasting the courts time & money + slandering someone, but how is it up to a court clerk to decide whether it’s true or not? I don’t know much of how that pre lawsuits works so there may be a logical answer to my question but I don’t know if a court clerk should decide which are possibly true or made up. Just my opinion.

  71. kingpel says: May 23, 2014 12:22 PM

    Stupid.

  72. mrbigg513 says: May 23, 2014 12:30 PM

    I’m lost

  73. arothmeelerbucs4me49 says: May 23, 2014 12:30 PM

    I find people laughing at this a part of the problem in our society. The person who misaccused JF should go to jail. Having been wrongly accused myself I agree this never should have even got into the system! As citizens we should not allow cr*p like this to gum up our judicial system for someone who thinks they can make a quick buck by being bought off. Not saying that everyone is innocent but there is just WAY too much of this going on.

  74. rg3sus says: May 23, 2014 12:35 PM

    Best pft article ever. Laughing so hard

  75. jimr10 says: May 23, 2014 12:40 PM

    this is what you get when a federal judge is appointed for life… suit should never have been allowed.

  76. qdog112 says: May 23, 2014 12:47 PM

    Funny as L. Get over it!!!

  77. flyeaglesfly13 says: May 23, 2014 12:49 PM

    It must be real, it doesn’t matter how many times you say it’s a hoax, if it’s on the internet it has to be real. The internet can’t lie, lol. Just kidding. But I do have to say, poor hot dog bun :(

  78. bspurloc says: May 23, 2014 12:55 PM

    some funny stuff there…

  79. haytammy says: May 23, 2014 1:02 PM

    And my day has started off right. “It’s a small world after all”

  80. kaferwerks says: May 23, 2014 1:02 PM

    It’s amusing to see so many commenters bent out of shape on this. It’s probably just a very complex rookie gazing prank his new teammates schemed up…

  81. mrpkg says: May 23, 2014 1:05 PM

    Hoax or not, Johnny Football still has too many distractions around him.

    NFL head coaches hate distractions

  82. metalman5150 says: May 23, 2014 1:28 PM

    Once again, my tax dollars are working hard, today!

  83. peytonsneck18 says: May 23, 2014 1:48 PM

    Lmao, this is too funny

  84. orthomarine says: May 23, 2014 2:09 PM

    (Standing applause)!!!

  85. linji45thgen says: May 23, 2014 2:09 PM

    The only thing missing from this complaint is “BABA BOOEY!”

  86. Capt Jam says: May 23, 2014 2:17 PM

    Looking forward to the start of oral arguments.

  87. GenXJay says: May 23, 2014 2:19 PM

    this hoax is great. it provides two things, laughter & exploits how dumb our judicial system has become.

  88. restorativejusticeprogram says: May 23, 2014 2:27 PM

    Failure of the US court system and why Canada is better: The losing party would be responsible for the winning parties court costs. As things stand, plaintiffs have nothing to lose by filing these things while the defendant can be out thousands and more responding.

  89. hrmlss says: May 23, 2014 2:47 PM

    So now people will pelt him with hotdog buns ans vienna sausages coming out of the tunnel.

  90. ubepunkedagain says: May 23, 2014 2:49 PM

    Jonathan Lee Riches filed the suit.

  91. dfco74 says: May 23, 2014 2:52 PM

    Everyone knows manziel has big hands thus the story is a total fabrication.

  92. touchdownroddywhite says: May 23, 2014 3:04 PM

    restorativejusticeprogram says: May 23, 2014 2:27 PM

    Failure of the US court system and why Canada is better: The losing party would be responsible for the winning parties court costs. As things stand, plaintiffs have nothing to lose by filing these things while the defendant can be out thousands and more responding.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I’m pretty sure this is fairly inaccurate….

  93. buc8 says: May 23, 2014 3:04 PM

    Why is it a hoax? No explanation is given.

  94. dochighness says: May 23, 2014 3:04 PM

    I suspect something is wrong here.

    He measured 5″ at the combine.

  95. touchdownroddywhite says: May 23, 2014 3:06 PM

    My guess is Manziel filed the suit against himself. Wasn’t getting enough attention this last week other than the attention he’s receiving for being dogged by the Browns.

  96. Robert says: May 23, 2014 3:49 PM

    And so it begins, adios Johnny Bravo.

  97. oilerthentexandiehard says: May 23, 2014 3:50 PM

    Johnny VeeSauge !!

    Where can I get a jersey?

  98. jsrdc says: May 23, 2014 4:02 PM

    And so the circus begins……..

    I am SO GLAD the Cowboys were astute enough to have passed on this kid, and went for the more solid and safe player.

    Johnny will have too many distractions wherever he plays and the media won’t be able to get enough of it. If he had been drafted in Dallas, the media would have never left him alone. And it is now proven he didn’t have to go to Dallas to have drama follow him.

    Good luck, Johnny. You are going to need it in Cleveland. Let’s see if you can prove those of us wrong who think you are going to be a bust.

  99. blowtorch1964 says: May 23, 2014 4:45 PM

    Funny stuff.

    The true identity of the plaintiff may not be known. The suit was filed under a fictitious name as part of the joke. The author of the hoax knew the media would pick up on it and disclose the contents of the complaint, thus spreading the joy.

    I am sure that Johnny Football can safely ignore, especially if he wasn’t served papers. This didn’t cost taxpayers, filing suit requires a fee.

  100. johnnyjagfan says: May 23, 2014 5:52 PM

    What about suing for malicious prosecution?

  101. planbeye says: May 23, 2014 6:28 PM

    I guess he can’t even .
    Go next to a hot dog bun anymore!

  102. drunkwino says: May 24, 2014 3:40 AM

    The real joke is the Florida legal system…again.

  103. earpaniac says: May 24, 2014 9:37 AM

    If its a hoax, why report all the “salacious” details.

  104. higheriqthanyou says: May 24, 2014 10:14 AM

    Wow, Manziel’s already in trouble?

  105. youpeopleareallthesame says: May 24, 2014 2:57 PM

    A hotdog bun, huh? I mean everyone has their own stuff… but wow.

    If that is what’s alleged this this girl is clearly insane.

  106. dhardy8207 says: May 25, 2014 4:34 PM

    Ha…thought Alabama was the only “sue at will” state. Frevilous law suit clog up the system and someone should get fired for letting this one ever hit the docket…

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