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Saturday one-liners

Chris+Farley+awesome

Dolphins S Reshad Jones says he’ll practice harder in 2014. (We’re still waiting for a guy to publicly declare that he plans to dog it.)

Will Bills TE Tony Moeaki make the team in 2014?

The town of Fitzgerald, Georgia will honor Patriots DB Jemea Thomas on Monday with a coincidentally-named Jemea Thomas Day.

Former Jets QB Mark Sanchez recalls his time with the team as “awesome.” (“Do -- do you remember that time you ran into that guy’s butt and fumbled? That was awesome.”)

The website owned and operated by the Ravens keeps getting exclusive scoops from Ravens G.M. Ozzie Newsome. (Pulitzer!)

The Browns hope to not lead the league in passing attempts for the second straight year.

Former Bengals RB Ickey Woods made a rare public appearance in his hometown of Fresno, a town he spurned after he didn’t get a scholarship offer at Fresno State.

Steelers LB Ryan Shazier, an Ohio native, is learning quickly that people from his home state don’t like his new team.

The Jaguars caravan invaded Tallahassee.

Texans CB Johnathan Joseph advised DE Jadeveon Clowney to get hernia surgery; Joseph has undergone a pair of his own.

Former Colts C Jeff Saturday will be the featured guest at the Children’s Organ Transplant Association’s inaugural Miracle Maker Celebration.

Titans WR Michael Preston is receivers coach Shawn Jefferson’s “jack of all trades.”

Broncos rookie CB Bradley Roby had a memorable moment in OTAs; “I picked [Peyton Manning] off and went to the house,” Roby said. “It was a proud moment for me because he’s a legend.”

Retired WR Eddie Kennison talks about why he chose the Chiefs -- and why he opted to stay in Kansas City after his career ended.

Raiders QB Matt Schaub hopes to sell his Houston home for $4.29 million. (He should’ve picked six for the opening price. Heyo!)

An escaped con man tried to persuade a potential victim in Chicago that he owns the Chargers.

Former Cowboys WR Terrell Owens left current Cowboys WR Dez Bryant off a list of the league’s top receivers.

Eagles P Donnie Jones and gunner Brandon Boykin affected the outcomes of games last year.

Washington’s blogger-turned-nickname-defender apparently has come up with his first catchphrase: “political correctness on steroids in overdrive.”

Giants CB Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie returned to Florida for the annual basketball camp started by his father at the Palmetto Boys and Girls Club.

Neither Nate Freese nor Giorgio Tavecchio made a strong case during offseason workouts to become the Lions’ new kicker.

Packers CB Davon House could have a hard time getting on the field in 2014.

The Vikings are moving from the south sideline at the Metrodome to the north sideline at TCF Bank Stadium.

Bears RB Matt Forte co-hosted a youth football camp in New Orleans on Friday.

Saints QB Drew Brees was clearly joking when he said he has spoken with the arbitrator regarding the Jimmy Graham ruling; this item from the New Orleans Times-Picayune doesn’t convey that as clearly as it should.

Rain didn’t keep fans in Columbia, South Carolina away from the Carolina Panthers Road Show.

Despite being drafted by the Tampa Bay Lightning, Philly native Anthony DeAngelo won’t be embracing the Buccaneers.

How much will the New England connections impact the Falcons’ handling of Hard Knocks?

Several 49ers showed up for a bowling event benefiting the Bayview Hunters Point YMCA.

The Arizona Sports Fan Expo will bring all seven pro sports teams from the state under one roof at the same time.

Something called the Parramatta Eels is studying the Seahawks in order to get better at rugby.

Former Rams CB Dexter McCleon will be the new defensive backs coach at Miles College in Birmingham.