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ESPN’s shower report gets The Daily Show treatment

05-Oppenheimer-JonStewart-550x358 Getty Images

When it comes to determining whether an NFL news story has fully crossed over to the mainstream, I apply two general barometers:  (1) whether I get asked about the topic by people I don’t know very well (or at all) in places like the grocery store and restaurants; and (2) whether it becomes a topic on The Daily Show.

Wednesday night’s edition of the Comedy Central staple featured a look at the ESPN report regarding the shower habits of Michael Sam.

“Why would his teammates feel uncomfortable showering with Michael Sam?” Jon Stewart said.  “Does he use Axe Garlic & Rotten Egg body wash?  Does Michael Sam have a Kuato? . . . .  Michael Sam’s gay.  Are we not over this yet?”

Reacting to the explanation that Sam’s absence from the shower room with teammates may have resulted from Sam engaging in football-related activities, Stewart said, “Yes, those are all the most likely things a football team might be doing.  But couldn’t he also be singing show tunes or binge-watching Bravo?  ESPN viewers need to know.”

Stewart then brought in “Senior Sports Correspondent” Samantha Bee, who provided a “report” regarding Sam’s alarming lack of “locker room behavior of normal heterosexual NFL players,” such as “grab ass,” “dip snaps,” and “ball cupping.”

She then produced a copy of Jeff Pearlman’s Boys Will Be Boys, reading graphic quotes relating to Charles Haley’s notorious locker-room behaviors.

The ultimate conclusion?

“If Michael Sam wants to fit in to the NFL, he’d better cut the shy act and gay it up,” Bee said.

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16 Responses to “ESPN’s shower report gets The Daily Show treatment”
  1. buffaloisadumpsterandtheirfansaremorons says: Aug 28, 2014 9:10 AM

    ESPN is the bottom of the barrel when it comes to sports coverage. The CNN of news reporting.

  2. RegisHawk says: Aug 28, 2014 9:17 AM

    Is this PFT’s attempt to bring down Goliath? Seems pretty petty.

  3. commonsense1986 says: Aug 28, 2014 9:22 AM

    Hahah I’m glad ESPN got a reality check out of this. Who cares what his shower habits are. I’m much more concerned with important things. Like what bathroom Johnny Football has been hanging out in? Or where the heck is Tim Tebow? These are the cutting edge sports stories I’m craving.

  4. thedownwardspiral says: Aug 28, 2014 9:23 AM

    ESPN is the FOX news of sports reporting. Worthless. Sad that comedy shows like the Daily Show and Colbert Report have to dish the real

  5. watchfullhose says: Aug 28, 2014 9:37 AM

    :::Gets popcorn ready:::

  6. cranialdisturbance says: Aug 28, 2014 9:53 AM

    It’s sad people actually get their “news” from Comedy Central.

  7. kane337 says: Aug 28, 2014 9:59 AM

    The Daily show sucks. Their attempt at humor fails miserably.

  8. tribefever says: Aug 28, 2014 10:25 AM

    Only self loathing white liberals watch the daily show.

  9. dontouchmyjunk says: Aug 28, 2014 10:39 AM

    It’s sad people actually get their “news” from Fox News.

  10. remyje says: Aug 28, 2014 10:41 AM

    notice you can always sense the anger from conservatives? you old miserable grumps lmaoooo

  11. nizzledizzleshizzle says: Aug 28, 2014 11:23 AM

    I thought it was pretty funny!

  12. flannlv says: Aug 28, 2014 12:40 PM

    For all the people criticizing Stewart/Colbert studies have shown people who receive their news from Stewart or Colbert are more informed about the news than those who watch fox news.

  13. qdog112 says: Aug 28, 2014 12:55 PM

    cranialdisturbance says:
    Aug 28, 2014 9:53 AM
    It’s sad people actually get their “news” from Comedy Central.
    **********************
    No pal, the sad thing is that some people get indoctrinated by Faux Nuse, which should be on the Comedy Channel.

  14. dalcow4 says: Aug 28, 2014 1:13 PM

    Crackup– every time I hit refresh I see the number of comments go *down*.

    Social Justice Warriors always delete comments which don’t toe the PC line.

  15. hrmlss says: Aug 28, 2014 1:14 PM

    Peyton Manning has a Kuato.

  16. nesslee says: Aug 28, 2014 9:07 PM

    I smell a new Old Spice commercial.

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