When it comes to determining whether an NFL news story has fully crossed over to the mainstream, I apply two general barometers: (1) whether I get asked about the topic by people I don’t know very well (or at all) in places like the grocery store and restaurants; and (2) whether it becomes a topic on The Daily Show.
“Why would his teammates feel uncomfortable showering with Michael Sam?” Jon Stewart said. “Does he use Axe Garlic & Rotten Egg body wash? Does Michael Sam have a Kuato? . . . . Michael Sam’s gay. Are we not over this yet?”
Reacting to the explanation that Sam’s absence from the shower room with teammates may have resulted from Sam engaging in football-related activities, Stewart said, “Yes, those are all the most likely things a football team might be doing. But couldn’t he also be singing show tunes or binge-watching Bravo? ESPN viewers need to know.”
Stewart then brought in “Senior Sports Correspondent” Samantha Bee, who provided a “report” regarding Sam’s alarming lack of “locker room behavior of normal heterosexual NFL players,” such as “grab ass,” “dip snaps,” and “ball cupping.”
She then produced a copy of Jeff Pearlman’s Boys Will Be Boys, reading graphic quotes relating to Charles Haley’s notorious locker-room behaviors.
The ultimate conclusion?
“If Michael Sam wants to fit in to the NFL, he’d better cut the shy act and gay it up,” Bee said.