Jared Allen wasn’t happy about missing the NFC Championship Game, after he was diagnosed with a broken foot.
So as he tried to get back for the Super Bowl, he turned to something straight out of the lair of Dr. Evil, using a laser to try to get rid of the inflammation that held him back.
According to Mike Garafolo of FOX Sports, the Panthers defensive end was hooked up with a Dallas-area company called Phoenix Thera-Lase by friend and FOX analyst Jay Glazer (who like Dr. Evil, is bald. And evil. And may or may not use the word “fricking” a lot.).
And as a result, Allen said he’s ready to go this weekend, after being disappointed at possibly missing his chance to play in his first Super Bowl. But Allen said he respected coach Ron Rivera for giving him a chance to plead his case,
“I think that’s what’s so great about him. He allows those conversations to happen,” Allen said. “‘Here’s what’s going on.’ ‘OK, here’s what I think.’ He listens. It doesn’t always mean he’s going to do everything the player wants, but he’s going to listen, which I respect. Yeah, I was pissed off for a day and then you move on. It’s not about me.
“If he would’ve just told me, ‘I guarantee we’re going to win, maybe it would’ve made it easier.’ But that’s why I like him so much. It’s hard to describe. There’s just something about Coach Rivera. He’s cool, calm and collected. He gets it.”
Now, Allen says he’s ready to “rock and roll,” and Rivera said the week off helped the veteran pass-rusher be ready. And if Rivera wasn’t willing to put him on the field, it might have ended with Allen finding a shark to attach the laser to.