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Nevada businessman plans a Raiders-themed brothel

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Just sin, baby.

The Raiders’ upcoming move to Las Vegas is being greeted with open arms — or something — by one enterprising Nevada businessman.

According to Mick Akers of the Las Vegas Sun, Nevada brothel owner Dennis Hof announced plans to open a Raiders-themed establishment called “Pirate’s Booty.”

“I’ve had a license for a seventh brothel near Las Vegas for some time now, but I was waiting for the right time to launch another house of debauchery,” Hof said. “The Raiders coming to Vegas will mean big business for me, so my next sex den will honor the ‘Men in Black’ and their ‘Raider Nation.’”

(In a related note, Hall of Famer and former Raider Warren Sapp is plotting a comeback as we speak.)

The house of ill repute will be 90 miles outside of Las Vegas in Crystal.  Hof said Raiders players and staff will get 50 percent off at his establishments, and there will be a VIP section at staffed with “over 20 cheerleader-garbed working girls.”

So now, at least someone other than fans in Oakland will be getting, … oh, never mind.

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65 Responses to “Nevada businessman plans a Raiders-themed brothel”
  1. nyneal says: Mar 28, 2017 12:41 PM

    Well, there you go. You bought into this, NFL.

  2. pftreader69 says: Mar 28, 2017 12:42 PM

    Hey, wasn’t that in Libby’s proposal too?

  3. thrifty says: Mar 28, 2017 12:44 PM

    appropriate for a loser franchise

  4. waynefontesismyfather says: Mar 28, 2017 12:44 PM

    Whelp, that seals the deal. I’ll definitely be taking several trips to Vegas to see the Raiders play. I’ll be watching on TV of course because I’ll be at Mr. Hof’s new establishment.

  5. abninf says: Mar 28, 2017 12:44 PM

    Git ‘er done!

  6. hawksfansince77 says: Mar 28, 2017 12:45 PM

    The Raiders will have the best injury report ever: “Sprained Ankle, Pulled Hamstring, Syphilis.”

  7. RegisHawk says: Mar 28, 2017 12:46 PM

    Yes, but will it make it as an HBO series?

  8. maust1013 says: Mar 28, 2017 12:47 PM

    They are probably used to having to pay for it but it will be a real change of pace for Raiders fans to get some legally

  9. radrntn says: Mar 28, 2017 12:47 PM

    maybe he can decorate as a sunken ship

  10. factschecker says: Mar 28, 2017 12:47 PM

    Very fitting. Fans typically get screwed by the NFL. They also typically make you pay for the screwing.

  11. rpiotr01 says: Mar 28, 2017 12:47 PM

    That’s one way to improve the ‘game day experience’, to borrow a phrase from the league.

  12. clashpoint says: Mar 28, 2017 12:48 PM

    Just one more reason to plan your big annual vacation for Vegas if your team has an away game there.

  13. logicalvoicesays says: Mar 28, 2017 12:50 PM

    There are gonna be alot of babies without Fathers born in this town, this lonely town.

  14. jgg1 says: Mar 28, 2017 12:51 PM

    And. So its starts!!!!!!

  15. 302EaglesFan says: Mar 28, 2017 12:54 PM

    You know I’m okay with it. It’s business right. However, don’t tell everyone it’s about the integrity of the game when you move to Vegas. 53 Guys and how many officials will be targeted to miss a kick or a call. NFL equals greed.

  16. petedutcherjr says: Mar 28, 2017 12:54 PM

    Yeah…nothing but class in moving to Vegas…

  17. hillarystandswhenshepees says: Mar 28, 2017 12:54 PM

    STD factories.

  18. scoops1 says: Mar 28, 2017 12:54 PM

    Remember, one night stands only last one night, but syphilis lasts a lifetime….

  19. mogogo1 says: Mar 28, 2017 12:57 PM

    If you’re going to do it, do it right: This totally needs to be part of the club level in the new stadium. And it should have the option of the girls or johns (or both) dressing up in those crazy Raider fan costumes.

  20. Chris says: Mar 28, 2017 12:58 PM

    I had to laugh at the choice of photo for this article.

  21. kane337 says: Mar 28, 2017 12:58 PM

    Can’t wait to see this on HBO’s Hard Knock.

  22. joetoronto says: Mar 28, 2017 12:58 PM

    Cool, nothing wrong with that.

  23. citizenstrange says: Mar 28, 2017 1:02 PM

    The NFL will be 100% completely against this …. unless they can somehow make money off of it.

  24. PFTCommentSectionIsFullOfBigotry says: Mar 28, 2017 1:03 PM

    Anyone know why Cathouse was cancel? Was the Second best show on HBO besides OZ!!!

  25. johnnyjagfan says: Mar 28, 2017 1:08 PM

    50% off for the team…

  26. 345snarkavenue says: Mar 28, 2017 1:18 PM

    What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Of course, this place isn’t actually in Vegas,….so stuff might not stay there.

    I’m curious though….does the department of health do inspections on places like this? If so, what exactly do they ‘inspect’?

  27. mullman76 says: Mar 28, 2017 1:23 PM

    Uh-oh.

  28. BIGGSHAUN says: Mar 28, 2017 1:29 PM

    If you have to pay to get some, then you’ve got a lot of problems.

  29. upperdecker19 says: Mar 28, 2017 1:30 PM

    I think that I’ll just stick with the $5 lobster and $2 steak and eggs when in town…..

  30. igortufluv says: Mar 28, 2017 1:30 PM

    nevada: where a pimp is a “businessman.”

  31. upperdecker19 says: Mar 28, 2017 1:32 PM

    90 mile round trip for fun? Who needs that?

    Regards,
    The Craigslist “casual encounters” and “therapeutic services” ads

  32. saints737 says: Mar 28, 2017 1:33 PM

    NFL is turning more and more into the movie Any Given Sunday by the day

  33. surfinbird1 says: Mar 28, 2017 1:34 PM

    Hey Roger, what about the $hield.

  34. hifive123 says: Mar 28, 2017 1:35 PM

    Looks like material for *Hard Knocks*.

  35. 49ersfury says: Mar 28, 2017 1:36 PM

    Forbidden fruit falling from the trees of Sin City.

    The end of the Raider mystique is near.

    All my Raider-hater brethren everywhere. Basque in the sunshine of this glorious day.

    49ers ran those fools straight outta of the Bay to The middle
    Of the desert. 🌵 🌵

  36. jimmysee says: Mar 28, 2017 1:36 PM

    Anyone can adopt a pirate theme but there are trademark issues in appropriating Raiders ID. NFL Properties may have an opinion and take action on this one

  37. silvernblacksabbath says: Mar 28, 2017 1:37 PM

    I’m on my way….. 🙂

  38. boknowsvt says: Mar 28, 2017 1:40 PM

    The 70’s Raiders would’ve loved this!

  39. weepingjebus says: Mar 28, 2017 1:47 PM

    That escalated quickly.

  40. ragnarthemagnificent says: Mar 28, 2017 1:51 PM

    What could possibly go wrong?

  41. RegisHawk says: Mar 28, 2017 1:55 PM

    Win or lose, you always get a Happy Ending!

  42. selldannysell says: Mar 28, 2017 1:57 PM

    You’re going to have to put that backfield in motion so you can score in the red zone. The jokes just write themselves.

  43. rjg427 says: Mar 28, 2017 1:59 PM

    50% off..huh? no wonder Mark Davis made this pitch..that lonely SOB

  44. vivaoakland says: Mar 28, 2017 2:01 PM

    Talking about a pirate’s booty, well with a Raider’s themed brothel, sin city will truly earn its name. What a disgrace to a former dignified and all American team’s image.

  45. babygaga19 says: Mar 28, 2017 2:04 PM

    And you are sure such brothels don’t exist in Oakland? Man, how naive are you fan boys?

  46. realfootballfan says: Mar 28, 2017 2:04 PM

    Because of course.

  47. babygaga19 says: Mar 28, 2017 2:12 PM

    No legal issues here unless they are using Raiders trade dress. Raiders have no rights to Pirates Booty. And yes, they can advertise descriptively to “Raiders Fans.”

    Your local counsel.

  48. harrisonhits2 says: Mar 28, 2017 2:18 PM

    “Raiders players and staff will get 50 percent off at his establishments, and there will be a VIP section at staffed with “over 20 cheerleader-garbed working girls.””

    Hilarious. Can he offer gambling on site too?

    Of course in about an hour we’ll be seeing a new article titled “NFL to take legal action against Hof to prevent Raider themed brothel unless league office and front office employees of all 32 teams get the same 50% off deal”

  49. thevza says: Mar 28, 2017 2:20 PM

    The greatest sports bar ever.

  50. TheDPR says: Mar 28, 2017 2:30 PM

    I think driving 90 miles for a Raiders themed brothel when there are many many brothels much closer to the city is going to be too much of a hassle, Hof.

  51. struckgold49er says: Mar 28, 2017 2:40 PM

    YES!!! Make Football Great Again… I’d go.

  52. the610limited says: Mar 28, 2017 2:40 PM

    Jerry Jones will keep his ”Hollywood bus” parked in Vegas just for things like this.

  53. shadywarrior says: Mar 28, 2017 2:49 PM

    Because there’s nothing I’d rather be reminded of in intimate moments than large sweaty men in tight pants…

  54. kabasaman says: Mar 28, 2017 2:50 PM

    “””ROAD TRIP””””’

  55. southpaw79 says: Mar 28, 2017 3:02 PM

    …. that last sentence though…. brilliant.

  56. razzlejag says: Mar 28, 2017 3:06 PM

    Hof is also opening a chain of barbershops in Vegas so that every guy leaves with a free Mark Davis haircut.

  57. anarchopurplism says: Mar 28, 2017 3:07 PM

    What will we do with a drunken sailor?
    What will we do with a drunken sailor?
    What will we do with a drunken sailor?
    Early in the morning!

    Way hay and up she rises,
    Way hay and up she rises,
    Way hay and up she rises,
    Early in the morning!

    Put him in the bed with the captains daughter,
    Put him in the bed with the captains daughter,
    Put him in the bed with the captains daughter,
    Early in the morning!

  58. anarchopurplism says: Mar 28, 2017 3:09 PM

    Professor, what’s another word for ‘pirate treasure’?

    Well, I think it’s ‘booty’. Booty, booty…………………….

    That’s what it is.

  59. rcali says: Mar 28, 2017 3:25 PM

    Have to love free enterprise. Almost was snatched from us folks!

  60. stunningtruth says: Mar 28, 2017 3:25 PM

    Las Vegas better get the gang unit beefed up too

  61. thegreatgabbert says: Mar 28, 2017 4:11 PM

    Haha, it’s the Raiders we’re talking about. All the “VIP” girls will be sitting around chewing gum and looking disappointed.

  62. clssylssy says: Mar 28, 2017 4:49 PM

    We all saw how this worked out fot Lamar Odem and we all know how
    good NFL players do at practicing maturity, restraint, and good judgement! I just don’t want to hear Goodell talking about the integrity of the shield or player safety anymore.
    This move is all about greed and the Owners are all complicent in selling out the fanbases. But, this is nothing new and as long as fans allow it by continuing to support these franchises, nothing will change and any franchise could be vulnerable.
    There is a grain of irony to this story as Goodell turns out to be the ultimate pimp.

  63. r8dernation says: Mar 28, 2017 9:57 PM

    Now that’s a season of Hard Knocks that I would actually watch!

  64. joenash72 says: Mar 29, 2017 10:00 AM

    Todd Marinovich has a lot of catching up to do. 😉

  65. cotroutslayer says: Mar 29, 2017 12:08 PM

    It may be “themed” but the NFL and the Raiders hold all the licensing agreements for their name and logos. This guy better be careful or he’ll get the pants sued off him.

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