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Peyton Manning, practical joker

The new Bruce Arians book contains dozens of amusing stories from a lifetime in football, including several about former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. I’ll defer most of them to the actual book itself (after all, he wrote it for you to buy, not for me to summarize it here), but here’s one I couldn’t resist passing along.

When it comes to quarterbacks who are practical jokers, most of the stories we’ve heard over the years relate to guys like Brett Favre and Tom Brady. Manning apparently was a master, too.

“When Steve Walsh was his backup in 1999,” Arians writes, “Steve brushed his teeth like ten times a day. So one day Peyton bought a toothbrush that looked just like Steve’s. He then took a dump in the toilet, threw the toothbrush in there, and snapped a Polaroid of it.

“At lunch that afternoon he asked Steve if he had brushed his teeth that day. Steve said he had. Peyton slid the photo over to him, and Steve almost started throwing up.”

The Quarterback Whisperer will be released officially on Tuesday. It doesn’t come with a free toothbrush, but maybe it should.

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33 Responses to “Peyton Manning, practical joker”
  1. megnailsit says: Jul 7, 2017 11:06 AM

    Class all the way.

  2. pancaketaco says: Jul 7, 2017 11:11 AM

    learysdisciples says:
    Jul 6, 2017 6:35 PM
    We can’t wait for your next 15 stories to come out of this book.

    _____________________________________

    Story #2

  3. ricko1112 says: Jul 7, 2017 11:13 AM

    He’s a joker all right! Remember the time he teabagged that woman at Tennessee? Then tried to ruin her career? Hilarious! I tell ya, PEDton is class all the way!

  4. jstew0103 says: Jul 7, 2017 11:20 AM

    Pretty good joke. 7/10

  5. bannedfromchoirpractice says: Jul 7, 2017 11:26 AM

    Child’s play. Where I work, his real toothbrush would have been in the picture with the dump.

  6. learysdisciples says: Jul 7, 2017 11:29 AM

    Story #2 of 15 from this book.

  7. thelastwordyaheard says: Jul 7, 2017 11:30 AM

    Almost as funny as all the times TB12 & co. took a dump on Manning’s season..

  8. granadafan says: Jul 7, 2017 11:32 AM

    Most people would puke anyways if showed a picture of someone’s dump during lunch.

  9. mypostsalwaysseemtogetdeleted says: Jul 7, 2017 11:41 AM

    This is just gross.

  10. joetoronto says: Jul 7, 2017 11:43 AM

    ricko1112 says:
    Jul 7, 2017 11:13 AM
    He’s a joker all right! Remember the time he teabagged that woman at Tennessee? Then tried to ruin her career? Hilarious! I tell ya, PEDton is class all the way!
    ************************************************
    It’s pretty amazing and very wrong how the NFL has closed its eyes with Peyton Manning, he’s anything but the way he’s portrayed.

  11. Another says: Jul 7, 2017 11:55 AM

    thelastwordyaheard says:
    Jul 7, 2017 11:30 AM
    Almost as funny as all the times TB12 & co. took a dump on Manning’s season..

    ——————-
    I would prefer to live vicariously through the one time Manning came out on top. (Yes just one, cant credit Manning for Von Miller’s performance)

  12. MichaelEdits says: Jul 7, 2017 11:56 AM

    Good grief, it’s fun to brush your teeth with your Snoopy toothbrush.

  13. commentawaitingdeletion says: Jul 7, 2017 11:56 AM

    Nowhere near as funny as the time he convinced the idiots and media at 345 Park Ave the HGH was for his pregnant wife. That one still cracks me up.

  14. boobsmcgoo says: Jul 7, 2017 11:59 AM

    Remember he played that joke on Reggie Wayne and threw that Touchdown pass to Tracy Porter instead!

  15. ncfloyd says: Jul 7, 2017 12:07 PM

    I remember this funny antic..the only play >10 yards he made in his last AFC championship was when he dove on the ground to give up on the play and after no whistle stood up and completed a pass when the defense had stopped. Real jokester.

  16. sxk129 says: Jul 7, 2017 12:13 PM

    commentawaitingdeletion says:
    Jul 7, 2017 11:56 AM
    Nowhere near as funny as the time he convinced the idiots and media at 345 Park Ave the HGH was for his pregnant wife. That one still cracks me up.

    ————————————————————–

    Especially since his wife had already given birth to twins several months earlier.
    Hilarious, I tell you.

  17. ibillwt says: Jul 7, 2017 12:47 PM

    Should not be allowed on same stage as the GOAT at ESPYs.

  18. aj66shanghai says: Jul 7, 2017 12:50 PM

    If Tom Brady were truly the greatest, you would think his fans wouldn’t feel the need to maintain a constant smear campaign against a contemporary.

    Yet, here they are again, out in force to discredit Peyton Manning in an article that wasn’t even about his play.

    There’s some great Pats fans on these boards but mostly there are a bunch of insecure babies who still have an inferiority complex from being in the Yankees shadow for so long.

  19. fritz96 says: Jul 7, 2017 1:16 PM

    No…that was in the AFC divisional round. In the AFCCG he threw 2 nice medium length TD passes. Of course that didn’t win them the game…it took TB12 choking and getting intercepted in the end zone instead of throwing to a wide open Gronk.

    ————————

    ncfloyd says:
    Jul 7, 2017 12:07 PM
    I remember this funny antic..the only play >10 yards he made in his last AFC championship was when he dove on the ground to give up on the play and after no whistle stood up and completed a pass when the defense had stopped. Real jokester

  20. razzlejag says: Jul 7, 2017 1:36 PM

    How can we miss him if he won’t go away?

  21. tylawspick6 says: Jul 7, 2017 1:38 PM

    Gomer “PEDs” Manning also thought his sexual assault on that girl in college was a “practical joke”, too.

  22. smarter than you says: Jul 7, 2017 1:42 PM

    As bad as that is, it doesn’t come close to his brother ripping people off. What a scumbag family.

  23. nhpats says: Jul 7, 2017 2:26 PM

    That’s pretty nasty…..but kind of funny

  24. megnailsit says: Jul 7, 2017 2:41 PM

    So shanghai, let me get this straight: Bruce Arians decided to share a couple unflattering stories about Peyton because he’s a long-suffering Red Sox fan?

  25. MichaelEdits says: Jul 7, 2017 3:00 PM

    That toothbrush was game-used.

  26. tylawspick6 says: Jul 7, 2017 3:06 PM

    I cannot stand these kinds of statements..No Boston fan is insecure over smelly NY sports teams…Other way around.

    Are NY fans “insecure” because they were in the Celtics “shadow” for so long?

    here’s the deal:

    1. Gomer and Polian were in Goodell’s pocket. The rules were changed in 2006 to favor how Polian built his teams, which was speed and finesse.

    2. Pats fans found it whiny and entitled to do that, simply because the Pats teams were better from 2001-2004.

    3. Sheriff Goodell openly cheated our team TWICE, likely via a lot of pressure to do so via Jim Irsay, the Colts loser, drugg riddled and unprofessional owner.

    4. The Coltsies pumped in crowd noise to the RCA Dome and now we’ve learned their OL used hearing aids to cheat, yet again, with nary a peep from 345 Park Ave.

    5. Gomer Manning admitted he had Chinese HGH from Guyer at his house and lied about it, using his wife as a scapegoat, with no punishment or real investigation that ever occurred from Goodell.

    So, forgive us for feeling like we’ve been cheated, while open cheating goes on right in front of all of us, approved by Goodell and his favorite son good ol boy club set of teams.

    Plus, Gomer is one of the dorkiest tools ever to play sports.

  27. MichaelEdits says: Jul 7, 2017 3:15 PM

    Ty has a good point. I’d never say my wife was using my HGH. I’d do like Cris Carter and have a fall guy lined up in advance.

  28. pointtwopsiistheissue says: Jul 7, 2017 3:33 PM

    So fritz96 thinks TB 12 is the choker??? He just won his 5th Super Bowl, coming back from down 28-3. Contrast that to Manning losing 43-8 to Seattle ( the same team Tom beat the very next year in the Super Bowl). Tom doesn’t quit, unlike Manning did against Seattle!

  29. therealtrenches says: Jul 7, 2017 4:14 PM

    Wait a minute…Bruce Arians wrote a book *about himself* and called it The Quarterback Whisperer?

    What does he whisper to them? “I’m going to get you killed out there, son?”

  30. ibillwt says: Jul 7, 2017 4:38 PM

    There’s some great Pats fans on these boards but mostly there are a bunch of insecure babies who still have an inferiority complex from being in the Yankees shadow for so long.
    ———————
    I’m just a South Carolina redneck, but any halfarsed objective fan has witnessed that Brady is sure enuf the Greatest of All Time and that Manning plain stunk when it counted.

  31. patsfan4lifesbchamps says: Jul 7, 2017 6:03 PM

    Brady is the GOAT SYSTEM QB, debate is pretty much over.

  32. switchwitch59 says: Jul 7, 2017 11:37 PM

    Pay-a-ton IS a joke. Hate to tell some of you jock sniffers, but, there are plenty of people in the Indianapolis area who don’t like Pay-a-ton and have told me they would have preferred Tom Brady.

  33. touchdownelvis says: Jul 8, 2017 8:34 PM

    patsfan4lifesbchamps says:
    Jul 7, 2017 6:03 PM
    Brady is the GOAT SYSTEM QB, debate is pretty much over.

    Here’s what I’ve never quite understood about the phrase “system QB” – if it’s the system that causes Brady to win over 77% of the time, then why don’t other teams emulate that?

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