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Saturday one-liners

Joe Pasquale Visits Madame Tussauds

LONDON, ENGLAND - MAY 14: Comedian Joe Pasquale inspects Robert Downey Junior’s Sherlock Holmes wax figure at Madame Tussauds on May 14, 2013 in London, England. Pasquale is set to play Sherlock Holmes later this year. (Photo by Ben A. Pruchnie/Getty Images)

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Asked if the Jets need to win out to make the playoffs, coach Todd Bowles said, “No sh-t.”

Patriots QB Tom Brady threw some good-natured shade at personnel exec Nick Caserio over his ability to throw a football; “Nick was a quarterback in college, but I think he’s better in his role now than he was a quarterback because I saw some film. . . . His throwing form? It’s terrible. Terrible.”

Bills DE Jerry Hughes tried to get to L.A. to witness the birth of his second child, but the baby had other plans.

Dolphins DE Cam Wake is in a slump.

The Ravens have become driven to get as many interceptions as possible.

The Bengals still have a realistic chance to lose yet another wild-card game.

Browns coach Hue Jackson has a message for DE Myles Garrett: “Go dominate the game.”

The Steelers play well in prime time, and WR Antonio Brown in particular shows up in that setting.

Texans LB Bernardrick McKinney drew plenty of praise from Baltimore coach John Harbaugh.

The Colts are happy with what they’ve gotten from LB John Simon.

Jaguars coach Doug Marrone pays no attention to Pro Bowl voting.

Titans WR Eric Decker launched a program to train rescue dogs to become service animals for disabled veterans.

A look back at a bizarre week for the Broncos.

For the Chiefs to re-energize their running game, the offensive line needs to step up.

The Raiders want to feed the Beast(mode).

Here’s Chargers coach Anthony Lynn congratulating his players after their impressive win in Dallas.

Giants coach Ben McAdoo wants his players to avoid acting like Mr. Creosote during their three-day break.

With a division title essentially in the bag, the Eagles know their work won’t be done until they lock up the No. 1 seed.

Washington coach Jay Gruden has “no idea” when TE Jordan Reed will be back.

What happened to the Cowboys on Thursday? “That was a butt-kicking,” L.A. QB Philip Rivers said. “That’s what that was.”

With LB Leonard Floyd out, Isaiah Irving and Howard Jones will be filling the void for the Bears.

Lions coach Jim Caldwell didn’t want to subject DE Dwight Freeney to what would have been possibly the shortest turnaround ever between games.

T.J. Watt thought he’d be drafted by the Packers, “but they didn’t want me.”

Vikings coach Mike Zimmer resisted blaming multiple blocked kicks on K Kai Forbath.

With a win on Sunday over Tampa Bay, the Falcons will even the all-time series at 24 wins.

The Panthers will be careful not to overuse TE Greg Olsen in his return from IR.

New Saints assistant Mike Westhoff hopes to finally get a Super Bowl ring, after 30 years in the NFL.

Buccaneers players relish getting game balls from their coach after wins. (Their coach would relish the players giving him some more wins.)

Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald may be playing with a pair of rookie receivers on Sunday, and he says that they are “a heck of a lot more mature than I was as a rookie.”

The Rams have forgotten about their loss in Minnesota, unless they haven’t; “We put that one behind us,” right guard Jamon Brown said. “It’s also fuel for this weekend [because] as coaches say, ‘A loss is not a loss, it’s a lesson.’”

The 49ers moved on from LB Ray-Ray Armstrong less than a year after giving him a contract extension.

Seahawks DE Dion Jordan is back, and he plans to stick around this time.