Jim Harbaugh is the star of Michigan’s All or Nothing, #asexpected

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In college football, the head coach runs the show. And no head coach runs a show like Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh.

The quirky, intense, and ultimately effective boss of the Wolverines program gets the bulk of the air time in Amazon’s newest offering in the All or Nothing series. He produces all of the intriguing sound bites. (Jim’s brother, John, and father, Jack, provide memorable moments when addressing the team; Jack’s speech to the players the night before their bowl game against South Carolina was good enough to make me think he should be coaching in the NFL, right now.)

John still does, and it feels like Jim one day will return. For now, he’s the man at his alma mater, and also the man of a house that features a flock of school-age kids, and younger.

The clip that has generated the most attention since the show debuted on Friday has Harbaugh’s daughter getting an infected ear piercing inspected by team trainers.

“It may hurt a little bit,” Harbaugh tells her. “You’ve got to suck it up, Katie.”

Harbaugh’s wife, Sarah, didn’t appreciate that one.

“Jim, she’s six years old,” Sarah says. “You think he’s a 22-year-old player.”

In another episode from the eight-part series, Jim shares a domestic example when talking to his players about the importance of holding onto the football.

“Anybody who’s got the ball. Squeeze it!” Harbaugh says. “This week, got home about 11:00. Sarah was still up, baby monitor goes off. Baby John’s up there crying, up in his room. ‘Hey Sarah, I’ll get this. Let me get this.’ Get up, get to John’s room. Could smell it right when I get in there, you know? Pooped his pants.

“Once I picked him up, I knew what I had to do. I had to take him down some steep stairs to get to that changing table. And I had to start thinking, ‘What is the worst possible thing that could happen that there’s no recovering from?’ If I fall down those stairs with the baby in my arms. I mean, it’s over for him. And I’m wearing these sweat pants, I’ve got those gray sweat pants.  Pulled those things up, this could happen. You could step on that sweat pant as you’re going down the stairs and it’s over. I’m squeezing him. I’ve got him right there. And I’ve got my other hand on the rail as I’m going down those stairs. I’m not squeezing him like I would a football. You can’t squeeze a baby like — you can’t squeeze into a baby like that. But I got him. Once I got to the bottom of those stairs, I’m thinking about the toys. Kids could have left the toys on the ground, could be something to step on. And that baby’s not coming out, is the point. And when you got the ball in your hand, there is no other job. There is no other job more important than that ball in the hand.”

Harbaugh never explains why the changing table isn’t in the baby’s room. Then again, the point wouldn’t have been as potent if steep stairs and saggy sweat pants weren’t involved.

Before a game at Purdue, Jim Harbaugh provides a fairly graphic mandate to his players.

“Be like a hit man, be like an assassin out there tomorrow,” Harbaugh says. “Be like a vampire bat. Let’s just go suck the blood right out of these people from start to finish.”

From start to finish, the All or Nothing series isn’t quite as compelling as its NFL counterpart. And it would have been a lot less interesting but for the involvement of Jim Harbaugh.

28 responses to “Jim Harbaugh is the star of Michigan’s All or Nothing, #asexpected

  1. No matter how hard the national sports media rides their jocks the fact remains that Michigan’s football program is kind of a joke. Before losing their bowl game this year they had four losses but were somehow given a new years days bowl. Does this not seem strange to anyone else? Harbaugh has accomplished absolutely nothing in his time at Michigan. No national titles, no big ten titles and not even so much as an east division title. He sure does make a lot of money though. My Spartans and the Buckeyes, supposedly Michigan’s main rivals, have absolutely owned them. Can you even really call these rivalries anymore considering how one sided they’ve been? Heck here in East Lansing we’ve won 8 of our last 10 games against them and we look forward to beating them at Spartan Stadium again this year

  2. @a1photoz says:

    The “#asexpected” bit has run its course lol.. come up with some new material
    =====================================================

    I don’t even know what it means. Must be millennial-speak.

  3. Spartan fans are hilarious in that the clock of history starts over every time they beat UM. Your program is inconsequential in comparison to Michigan, OSU and even Wisconsin. On the other hand, Harbaugh has zero probability of winning even a B1G Championship with Harbs at the helm.

  4. @ispeakthetruthraiders says:

    “What does this have to do with the NFL?”

    Jim Harbaugh used to coach Colin Kaepernick in the NFL. #SlowNFLNewsDay

  5. Harbaugh is all ego. Michigan hasn’t been relevant since 2006 when they were ranked #2 and lost to #1 Ohio State

  6. .
    John Harbaugh’s five year record :

    2013 8-8
    2014 10-6
    2015 5-11
    2016 8-8
    2017 9-7

    A 40-40 record makes Harbaugh the new Jeff Fisher.
    .

  7. This guy sure loves being the center of attention. I think he likes that more than he does winning. He’ll never leave UM where they sit on the edge of their seats for everything he says and does. His act is growing old everywhere else. Maybe if he were to actually, you know, like win something then he’d be relevant. As it stands he’s more like a circus sideshow.

  8. All about Harbaugh? Huh? Did you miss the extended story of the quarterback battle? The emotional scenes of Rashan Gary, off field (talking to his single mom about his absent father) and on field (losing it after the critical loss)? The story arc of Tarik Black’s injury? The in-home visits with assistant coaches Don Brown and Pep Hamilton?

    Yes, I guess you did miss all that, as you fast-forwarded to the next Harbaugh scene, so you could prove your predetermined hypothesis. #asexpected

    Now that you hit your deadline, you can relax and actually watch the show.

  9. I love Harbaugh. He’s awesome for Michigan football. Bo would be proud of the job Jim has done, and if you don’t understand that, I’m not going to waste any energy trying to teach you. M GO BLUE

  10. It took me three tries to finally get through episode #1 … pretty lame … not anywhere near the production quality and direction that the NFL series has had. I’m not sure I’ll even try to get to the end … I am looking forward to the Cowboys series though … even as a Dolfan.

  11. “I love Harbaugh. He’s awesome for Michigan football. Bo would be proud of the job Jim has done, and if you don’t understand that, I’m not going to waste any energy trying to teach you”
    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

    TRANSLATION: (sheep sounds) Baa baa baa baa

  12. 6ball says:
    April 8, 2018 at 6:40 pm
    A 40-40 record makes Harbaugh the new Jeff Fisher.
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    Fun fact: not only does John (even though this article is about Jim) has more superbowl wins as a coach than Ol Jeffrey, he’s also the only coach to ever beat his brother in a superbowl. Top that.

  13. He is a better NFL coach than college. Unusual in all aspects. He can’t recruit as well as Urban Meyer, and cannot beat him either. If your him… are you leaving that salary? Ever?

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