SINGLETARY SHOWS HIS ASS, LITERALLY

There is plenty of skepticism in league circles regarding the potential effectiveness of 49ers coach Mike Singletary’s decision to use his first postgame press conference to berate unnamed members of his team. As one league insider observed, “I just don’t think coming out that strong was the right approach. Especially with a team as untalented as the Niners are. The minute he says the wrong thing or does the wrong thing, he’s lost the locker room.” Based on reports that surfaced recently in Arizona, there’s another “thing” Singletary supposedly did on Sunday that some players might deem to be just plain “wrong.” Per Dan Bickley of the Arizona Republic and Mike Jurecki of XTRA 910, Singletary’s halftime speech to the team included the fledgling head coach dropping his pants, showing the players his bare ass, and pointing to it, apparently as a visual aid to display Singletary’s belief that the team was getting its ass kicked. (Hey, it beats the hell out of studying film.) According to the reports, Singletary then addressed the team for three or four minutes with his pants around his ankles. Frankly, we’re not quite sure what to make of it. The locker room is a universe unto itself. It’s a place where motivation might flow from a tree stump and a sharp ax. Or a dead turkey in a locker. Or a banana in the tailpipe. Still, if Singetary is doing this kind of stuff during the first game of his career, he’ll soon be pulling a Bob Knight with a fistful of two-ply Charmin. And then it’s only a matter of time before Singletary is crapping in a grocery bag.