Now that the Monday after the Super Bowl has come and gone, we can declare a winner of the second year of our patent-pending Turd Watch.
And the prize goes to . . . the Denver Broncos.
Denver, with 31 points, edged out the Lions by one.
Under the rules of Turd Watch, teams receive three points for each misdemeanor charge levied against a player or team employee, and seven for each felony. The same points apply to any conviction or guilty plea or plea or no contest or any resolution implying guilt that occurs during the period covered by the “game.”
The Giants finished third with 26 points. The Titans notched 25 points, putting them in fourth place. The Eagles had 22, good for fifth.
Fourteen teams landed between 10 and 19 points, and 13 had less than ten.
Only two teams had no incidents during the Turd Watch year — the Rams and the Redskins.
The Dolphins, Jets, and Ravens had only three points each.
For the Fins, new V.P. of football operations Bill Parcells made good on his promise to avoid “thugs and hoodlums.” Miami won Turd Watch I with a whopping 77 points, making the 74-point swing almost as impressive as their ten-game improvement on the field.
The Final Standings and the full Police Blotter for Turd Watch I are right here.