Bengals To Announce "Major Development" For 2009 Preseason

The Cincinnati Bengals have issued a curious press release.
They claim that “[a]n announcement regarding a major development” for the 2009 preseason is coming tomorrow.
The announcement will be made Thursday at noon, and coach Marvin Lewis will be among the speakers.
We’ve got a feeling that the “major development” isn’t something all that major.  Unless someone has won a “major award.”


74 responses to “Bengals To Announce "Major Development" For 2009 Preseason

  1. Florio, they may have signed Brett Favre. You should be on top of this before anyone else tries to crack the case!

  2. Maybe they are going to announce thay will be mathmaticly eliminated from the playoffs at the beginning of the pre season to save the fans some time.

  3. Yesterday they announced a minor development would be coming today via press release at 4 pm.

  4. Lewis will announce that they will be doing HBO Hard Knocks while Ocho Cinco sings “It’s a Hard Knock Life” in the background

  5. Either Marvin Lewis wants to tell the press about an exciting new Sprint phone or the Bengals have hired Goldie Hawn as their first ever general manager.

  6. Ladies and Gentleman: Your Los Angeles Bengals.
    That or the Bengals have unilaterally decided to count Pre-season wins on their regular season record to compete with the Steelers and Ravens.

  7. Maybe they are announcing the construction of a work release building right next to their practice facility. That way, guys can leave the work release facility and walk right over to practice. Makes sense.

  8. Clearly it’s Hard Knocks. You should remember your old posts better.
    The Cowboys officially announced Hard Knocks on May 7 last year.
    Wow, I wonder what it could be?

  9. Their gonna lose every game (including the preseason) and then challenge the Lions to the Loser Bowl in LA (hey, at least they will have a game there finally!!)

  10. Tickets to preseason games cost $1 per tooth.
    Should be huge in Cincitucky.

  11. I had one of those placed on a chair next to me at bar once. To my dismay though it was attached to a man…. (not that there is anything wrong with that)….

  12. It couldn’t be more obvious what this announcement is about…good reporting

  13. its hard knocks – which sucks. i was hoping HBO would follow a good team.

  14. We plan to announce that after all these years Steelers have been on HGH that they plan to NOT use that stuff this year… …..Dam we got haters we must be doing something right…..LOL

  15. I bet they are announcing they are going to start following and posting Rosenbag’s twitter feed on their website

  16. “It was discovered that during his freshman year of High School, Andre Smith, our new offensive tackle, ate a couch. After years of pain, it has finally been removed and he now weighs 195 lbs, and will be our new starting wide receiver in place of TJ Housmandzadeh.”

  17. They’ve thawed Paul Brown’s cryogenically frozen body so field an actual winner.

  18. The bengals have contracted the company who built the Cowboys practice dome, to build a new temporary 90,000 seat stadium in downtown sharonville Ohio.
    The available land to be used sits atop the highest hill in the area, which will be a component in the design of the stadium to take advantage of the high midwestern winds that can blow through in late december and january. (Remember chargers?)

  19. ClevelandSucks aka Philly Sewer Rat says:
    Season ticket holders will be given a free bad of dog crap at every game!!! Chow down!!!
    As a Bengals season ticket holder for the last 22 (damn, has it really been that long?) I can honestly say we’ve already been given a bag of dog crap at almost every game.

  20. The announcement is going to be that Mike Brown has sold the team.
    When asked why he sold the team Mike Brown at the press conference will respond:
    I’m rich bitch!!!

  21. Unless someone has won a “major award.”
    All the way from Italy.
    Maybe Chad has changed his last name to Ottanta Cinque!


  23. From now on, Carson Palmer will have an EMT skilled in the Heimlich Maneuver present at each game.
    Gotta be it.

  24. It’s got to be Hard Knocks.
    I’d love it if they have traded Chad, but I know that’s not going to happen.

  25. Stonethrower’s idea might be close.
    I was guessing that Mike Brown purchased the rubble from the Cowboys indoor facility tragedy and is having it reassembled for pennies on the dollar to make the Bengals the last team to come in out of the snow.
    But then again, Redbirds note that Charlie Brown is the Bengals prodigal son might fit better.
    Or they might be announcing thet Joe from Florence is a Douche Bag — but everyone in town already knows that, so there’s no sense in announcing it.

  26. Any time there is a Bengals story on here half the comments are crime related. So original.

  27. “you heard it here mike brown is retireing”
    That would totally make my day.

  28. Since you see more players during pre-season, the Bengals will be increasing pre-season ticket prices to 25 percent more than regular season. They have to cover the expenses of signing all those free agents and draft picks.

  29. The Major announcement is that Marvin Lewis won a copy of Florio’s ‘QB of the Future’, by posting humorous snippets about how much the Bengals suck. He’s then going to be Chad Ochocinco to death with it.

  30. Can we give the bengals some credit? it could be something good.
    maybe they signed andre smith to his rookie deal to what could be considered a steal?
    maybe they found someone willing to give two 1st rounders for chad ochocinco?
    maybe they actually hired a gm?
    but no, everyone will just make fun of them because they make it so easy to…

  31. If it’s not Hard Knocks…then they’ve signed Andre Smith, and *that* would be a huge development. In all senses of the word.

  32. Wow, there’s a lot of losers that comment here. And most of them root for teams that are just as bad as the Bengals are.

  33. They will officially announce that pittsburghs reign as champs ends as soon as the team hits the field.
    So long bennifer!

  34. vikes02…
    A little history lesson for you…vikings 0-4 in super bowls,Bengals 0-2 in super bowls.
    Your team is twice as bad as ours…

  35. That Mike and Paul Brown are the most generic men ever to be created on the face of the earth.

  36. That WKRP’S Gordon Jump aka Arthur “Big Guy” Carlson did not fondle Dudley and Arnold on Different Strokes.
    It was the Gooch.

  37. Drew Rosenhaus hired, and now has final say over roster, because he knows who is going to have a breakout year!

  38. Mike Brown will finally admit that he and Chad Johnson are actually the same person.

  39. Theyve just signed a major deal with Chico’s Bail Bonds to cover the entire roster.

  40. Lupas and Tanner and Engleberg will be doing the play by play this season for the Bengals.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.