I Picked A Hell Of A Time To Exercise

While riding the exercise bike earlier this afternoon, I periodically checked my e-mail (via the Sprint phone) for stuff that could be forwarded to Aaron Wilson.
The message I received regarding a Bills running back being arrested looked innocuous.  So instead of holding it for 15 minutes (pun intended), I forwarded the item to Aaron.
And then I arrived back at the official PFT laptop after the ride ended, and I realized that this was hardly the run-of-the-mill marijuana/DUI/simple assault affair.
This was a Dookie Davenport-quality incident.  A 100-year event that will make the name “Corey McIntyre” a permanent fixture in these parts.
Of course, it’s a bit discourgaging that he played college football at West Virginia.  But, frankly, I don’t remember the guy.  (I think he was a fullback.  And now he’s a full-front.  Rim shot.)
The fact that McIntyre says he was riding a bike makes the Pee Wee Herman comparisons even more appropriate, and inevitable.  But the best way to explain this one (as a reader pointed out) is by mentioning a classic quote from a certain sitcom that aired its final episode eleven years ago yesterday.
“He took it out.”


20 responses to “I Picked A Hell Of A Time To Exercise

  1. I love this Corey McIntyre story so much I want to take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

  2. Guilty until proven innocent. Florio, you’re a lawyer, you know the factors that lead up to his arrest are on shakier than the buildings that company who built the Cowboys’ facility build.

  3. Really guys, this is much ado about nothing. Since when is it illegal to masturbate in public? You guys act like he’s some pervert or something.

  4. Hmm, I gotta be honest, I don’t believe the old lady’s story. It doesn’t really make any sense. What makes more sense is that he lives next door and when he takes out his bike, he occasionally bangs it against her door/doorbell and he adjusts his bike shorts before setting off.
    You can’t honestly believe he goes up to some old lady’s foyer and jerks off to the Golden Girls theme song coming from her living room.

  5. When questioned by officers Macintyre responded :
    “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve biked in a lot of neighborhoods and I’ll tell you, people do that all the time…..

  6. If he was actually from West Virginia, the lady would have been his relative. He must just be a grad

  7. Thus once again proving that Seinfeld can be applied to any and every event that comes up in life

  8. I can see it now….Florio riding and exercise bicycle while listening Queen’s song “Bicycle Race”.

  9. Florio,
    It is not, “He took it out.”
    It is, “He took “IT” out.”
    Emphasis on the IT!

  10. He has exersiiiiiiiiized the DEMONS!!!!!
    Then again maybe she was just mad he didn’t knock the cobwebs off for her!?!?
    That’s what 3 straight days of running around in underwear with 70 guys will get you……. RELEASED!
    Its too easy, I’m done…….. wait……yea I’m done…….

  11. I’m no lawyer (hint, hint), but shouldn’t there be some “allegedy”s in here some where?

  12. With OTA’s starting next week, he was merely performing some aerobic exercise! keep in mind its still chilly in Buffalo this time of year and had he done it there, well maybe no one would have noticed!

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