Leno gives the NFL extended play in his monologue

In case you haven’t noticed any of the ads that are saturating virtually every form of media (to the chagrin of our friend Drew Magary), there’s a new show on NBC every weeknight.

It’s hosted by a comedian named Jay Leno. 

Maybe you’ve heard of him.

We missed the debut, and our pay has been docked accordingly.  Under an implicit threat of termination (and we mean death, not unemployment), we watched last night’s show. 

To our delight, it featured a string of NFL-related jokes during the monologue.

First up was a tail-twisting of a certain aging quarterback, whom Leno applauded over the weekend for not retiring during the season-opening game.

Said Leno:  “Three NFL players announced yesterday they will donate their brains to science after they die.  Actually, they were gonna ask Brett Favre to do that but they were afraid after he died, he’d change his mind and want the brain back.”

Leno also threw a barbs at the Lions.  He pointed out that the Texans are reducing the size of beer cups in order curb drunkenness.  And that the Lions are increasing the size of the beer cups in order to help fans forget sooner. 

Then Leno turned to Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman.  As to the decision by the authorities to not pursue a criminal case of battery and false imprisonment for allegedly choking Tila Tequila, Leno said, “Even the cops know the Chargers always wait to the playoffs before they start choking.”

And Leno wasn’t finished with Merriman.  Addressing reports that Tequila became enraged after she entered the room while Merriman was with two other woman and asked her to join, Leno said, “I can’t get a foursome together for golf.”

Finally, Leno brought up the fact that Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb left Sunday’s game with a cracked rib.  Said Leno, “Michael Vick offered to put down McNabb for free.” 

In case you didn’t know, Leno’s show airs Monday through Friday at 10:00 p.m.  And if you forget, don’t worry — you’ll be reminded via the faint sound in the distance of Magary sending a bullet through his television.

23 responses to “Leno gives the NFL extended play in his monologue

  1. I was going to give you a hard time for promoting an NBC product (and be I’m sure the 1000th to do so), but… those quips are actually pretty funny.

  2. Mike, I think everyone should give you a pass when it comes to shilling NBC. It comes with the territory.

  3. I’m just shocked that NBC didn’t ask you to review the first show as well and plug that, it was a huge night to remind people. The people at NBC aren’t very smart. If they can’t send a guy like Florio a simple email and ask him to plug the show, then that just shows you how irresponsible big TV networks can be. If it was my network, there’s no way in Hell I would ever miss a low-cost opportunity to promote my TV products, it would be automatic and I would have teams of people working on these types of tasks.

  4. Mike
    If this is the cost of your NBC partnership, they need to pay you more money for being such a shameless whore.

  5. i dvr’d and tried watching that show for the first 2 episodes and the only thing i got out of it was that it is a good cure for insomnia… for some reason the jokes seem funnier reading them hear than hearing leno try to deliver them.
    after reading drew magary’s article i think i’d rather see him on air than leno, or maybe leno can kickstart next week with artie lange… it did wonders for joe buck

  6. Just the hard hitting news we expect from this site- like the roughly 50% of the posts which are just a reprinting of someone else work, with some Florio wild speculation thrown in.
    Nice job.

  7. this 10 oclock experiment will tank no matter what leno does/says. in 1-2 weeks, his ratings will have gone down more than 50%.

  8. I liked the joke highlights. What a bunch of babies whining about the NBC plug. Here’s a clue for the super geniuses, pass over what you do not want to read.

  9. Whats’s the next shameless pulg going to be like Florio?…..Something like this?…Cornerback Brian Williams signed with the Falcons on Sept. 6th, which reminds me, tune into NBC nightly news with Brian Williams….

  10. Leno’s show is bland, unimaginative and will last about as long as Tom Brady’s surgically repaired knee.

  11. disgusting plug for a company product…you would never see anything like this on the Essentially Self Promoting Network website.

  12. Conan got into the act, too. He said there was a group of native americans sueing the Washington Redskins because they found the name to be offensive. As a result, the team is changing its name to the Maryland Redskins.

  13. can’t complain about the jokes because they are A) hilarious, and B) NFL-related.
    the fact that it is an NBC show is just an unfortunate coincidence for ya mike. 😉
    i’d start listing NFL jokes you hear from any source, not just NBC ones. Especially ones of this caliber, these are great!

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