Here comes the Hammer?

As we continue to wait for a puff of white smoke to emerge from a Bay Area chimney, a pair of really big gold pants has been raised up the flag pole.

Per Matt Maiocco of the Santa Rosa Press-Democrat, aging and largely irrelevant ’90s rap star M.C. Hammer was present for Tuesday’s meeting between receiver Michael Crabtree and the 49ers.

So for the first time since Master P handled the negotiations of Ricky Williams’ rookie contract with the Saints, an entertainer apparently is trying to get his fingerprints onto an NFL deal.

It wouldn’t be Hammer’s first flirtation with the NFL.  Way back in ’91, he was a derby-and-cane fixture at Falcons games, at the behest of cornerback Deion Sanders.

They later collaborated on a song, “Straight to My Feet.”

And Maiocco recalls that Hammer lived in Deion’s Fremont, California mansion in 1994, his only season with the 49ers.
Sanders, of course, was represented by Crabtree’s agent, Eugene Parker, and Sanders has injected himself into the middle of the present mess by suggesting that multiple teams had tampered with Crabtree by offering him twice the money that the 49ers had placed on the table.

It’s unclear what Hammer’s role, if any, might be.  But Maiocco points out that an employee at the hotel where the meeting occurred said that Crabtree was heard telling Hammer, “Get it done.”

Maybe that’s he name of the song that will launch Hammer’s latest attempt at a comeback.

Crabtree will have a cameo in the video.  Along with Larry the Cable Guy.

46 responses to “Here comes the Hammer?

  1. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any stranger.
    It is becoming more obvious who all the idiots are that have been giving Crabtree horrible advice though.
    Wtf? Mc Hammer? Wasn’t Crabby in elementary school when Hammer was relevant?

  2. “It’s unclear what Hammer’s role, if any, might be.”
    Please. Please. It cannot be more clear. Hammer’s role is to deliver a message to the 49er brass:
    “Just like pennies rap Lights Out!
    I Advise u keep his name out yo mouth
    Cause you probably dis Crabtree fast son
    Get out when u can or catch a bad one”
    – whatever that means. Although I’m sure that it’s just what is needed to crack management’s resolve in this dispute.
    Hammer time…

  3. wtf? This isn’t funny and it’s certainly not informative. Do you just post shit to post it? You bored brah?

  4. That makes the most sense I’ve ever heard! Have a guy who can’t control his finances look after my well being!

  5. Hammer’s providing financial advice on how not to burn through millions and millions of dollars so you don’t end up doing celebrity fit club to pay the rent.
    WTF, was Vanilla Ice busy ?

  6. This is TOO LEGIT!!!! Man, what a fantastically bizzare potential end to this saga!!!!!

  7. I always thought that if he had just stayed “MC Hammer” and not switched to just “Hammer,” he would have kept his career going.

  8. Crabtree was heard telling Hammer, “Get it done.”
    Hammer? Really? Was Vanilla Ice not available?

  9. Well if anyone knows how to negotiate NFL contracts, it’s gotta be Hammer. Clearly, Crabtree has a good head on his shoulders. Maybe Vanilla Ice is his next hire.
    What a f–king moron.
    True story: A friend of mine ran into Hammer in a bathroom at Sundance Film Festival two years ago, and Hammer was checking himself out in the mirror and busting a move. Then Hammer looked at himself in the mirror and smiled (at himself!) said, “Don’t hurt ’em.”
    He’s still got it! LOL

  10. Great tie in with Hammer-Sanders-Crabtree-Parker, one of the many reasons I visit PFT daily. Why not “Hammer Time” for the headline?

  11. Seriously? One more time. Seriously? Is their a worse person to handle your financial issues than MC Hammer?

  12. Darn, Rob Base would be cool then he can chant:
    I’m Mike Crabtree and I came to get down
    I’m not internationally known
    But I’m known to rock the microphone
    Because I get stoopid, I mean outrageous
    Stay away from me if you’re contagious…

  13. Dude, is it really Hammer Time?!?!?!? dang…. this cr@p’s getting serious now.
    Frankly I’m suprised he’d go with Hammer’s services when Mr. T is readily available.
    “I pity the fool who thinks this that’s a good offer!! Chump change, fool!! Chump change!!!”

  14. Deion must have told Crabtree that if he wants to get paid he has to lay the Hammer down. Hence…..

  15. You know I was just thinking, I bet this deal would have been done by now if M.C. Hammer was involved.
    I hope he wore the gold parachute ‘Hammer Pants’.

  16. Florio, don’t get my hopes up. I thought this was going to be a breaking news article about my Bills firing Coach Jauron…

  17. # VegasChris says: October 7, 2009 12:05 AM
    “I bet TACO BILL could make a great pic for this situation.”
    I suppose there’s a first time for everything. I wish Hammer, or Taco Bill’s mother, would go down to Taco Bill’s room in the basement and leave a note on his computer saying, ‘U Can’t Touch This!’

  18. I want to take advantage of this post as others before me have done, and finally get to express my humour through rhyme.
    “yo paraag, I got my signing pants on
    so we aint gotta be here till the break of dawn
    Crabtree will walk if you aint got the money
    but holding out aint bringin home the honeys
    theres the paper, mike, sign it and bolt!
    before i come over-”
    Crab (signing)
    *End Negotiations*

  19. The Crabtree Experience featuring Cousin, NEON Deion, and M.C. Hammer produced by Eugene parker.

  20. Crabtree only smells a opportunity now because the 49’s running back is hurt.
    Crabtree’s sorry a$$ agent over estimated his value or at the very least provided him with horrible advice from the beginning . MC Hammer certainly can’t do any worse. LOL!
    Who cares anyway, Crabtree has missed all of training camp, preseason and a 1/4 of the regular season. He really won’t be an asset to the 49er’s offense until mid season at the earliest.

  21. Hammer got the deal done but he spent all of the money on his entourage and a two ton gold hammer for his driveway before he was able to break the news back to Crabtree that a deal had been done.

  22. Now the only hurdle remaining is the league accepting the terms of the contract. Good thing the NFL has Kool Moe Dee in charge of contract validation.

  23. Hammer is a minister now. Some people call him the next Jesse Jackson. Most likely he is there to give spiritual advice.
    Lord knows he shouldn’t give financial advice.

  24. Florio, are you going to be in the video too with your Flowbee hairdo from the 80’s?

  25. It’s obvious – the 49ers want Hammer there to remind Crabtree what he’ll become if he didn’t do the deal.
    P.S. What happened to “Pic of the Day”? No link anymore?

  26. With all due respect for Hammer somehow I’m surprised that Don King didn’t get involved. He at the very least would have promoted Crabtree in a creative fashion. For example he could have made a video of Crabtree beating TRIPLE coverage. So what if all three of the defenders happened to be midgets? He would have somehow found a way to properly showcase the brothers’ talents lol. Well at least the 49ers will get something (yet to be determined) out of their first round pick, if not this year perhaps next year. Good luck with this one you’re going to need it.

  27. Why is this article relevant news? Crabtree’s season is just about over — he would not have made an impact on this year’s team anyway. Hammer will not make any difference in Crabtree’s contract negotiations. He carries as much weight as an ink pen. What did Florio mean when he wrote, “And Maiocco recalls that Hammer lived in Deion’s Fremont, California in 1994, his only season with the 49ers?” I don’t ever recall that Deion owned the city of Fremont.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.