Friday afternoon one-liners

Bills receivers coach Tyke Tolbert has taken a similar position at LSU.

Donald Thomas is still the starting right guard in Miami, but he’s not actually playing much.

Pats LB Jerod Mayo isn’t a vocal leader — and right now that’s not a good thing.

Jets QB Kellen Clemens, whose contract expires after this season, gets his chance to attract interest elsewhere — or possibly to persuade the Jets to keep him around as a backup.

Ravens LB Terrell Suggs could be returning to action Sunday, nearly four weeks after suffering a knee injury when Browns QB Brady Quinn applied a low blow.

After missing two days of practice with an ankle injury, Bengals S Chris Crocker practiced on a limited basis on Friday and he says he plans to play at Minnesota.

Jerome Solomon of the Houston Chronicle thinks that Texans RB Steve Slaton should lay off the egg nog this month.

Colts QB Peyton Manning is a “friend and confidant” of Tiger Woods.  (“Yeah, Tiger.  I think you should call Girlfriend No. 4 and if she doesn’t answer, you should leave a recorded message in your own voice.  And you also should say who you are, in the recorded message.”)

Jags WR Torry Holt knows that Sunday’s game is a big one.  (It’s good to know that some teams are still using the old concussion testing procedures.)

From the “Unintended Imitations of Gollum” file, Titans RB Chris Johnson had this to say about the single-season rushing record:  “I don’t have a goal that I want to get.  I really want to get a
victory.   That’s my goal, and I want to get the record.  So I’ve got to get over 140 [actually 149] if I want to get the
record.  So I want to average over that.”

Broncos DE Elvis Dumervil, a Louisville alumnus, got a call from A.D. Tom Jurich before the school hired Charlie Strong.

Chiefs coach Todd Haley moved practice indoors Thursday, after giving serious thought to working in the elements.  

The agreement that will keep the Raiders in their current stadium through 2013 is now official.

The fact that Scott Mruczkowski has done well at center for the Chargers complicates the return of Nick Hardwick.

So did the Cowboys make the right choice between Norv Turner and Wade Phillips?  (Apparently, there was no “none of the above” option on the ballot.)

G Chris Snee isn’t talking much about his knee injury.  “I’m always limited,” he said.  “I’m a limited athlete.”

Mike Vick’s performance on Sunday is making the identity of the Eagles’ backup quarterback less clear.

Redskins S LaRon Landry is still the starter, despite biting more than a Chihuahua eating corn on the cob.

With Devin Hester not playing this weekend, Bears WR Johhny Knox could get more action.

Lions RB Kevin Smith is getting praise from his coaching staff; “People don’t give Kevin probably enough credit,” offensive coordinator Scott Linehan said. 
“He’s really played banged-up, and you never hear a word out of him.  He
never uses it as an excuse, and you never expect him to.  But a lot of
people go down that road.”

Packers K Mason Crosby doesn’t think he’s in a slump.  (He also thinks his wife’s rear end doesn’t look fat in that dress.)

Vikings S Jamarca Sanford is ready to make his first start, if Tyrell Johnson (concussion) can’t go.

Falcons coach Mike Smith is still optimistic about his team’s season.  (He also thinks his wife’s rear end . . . oh, crap I already used that one.)

Panthers DE Tyler Brayton says his “heart would be broken” if the team doesn’t bring him back next year.  (Who says football players aren’t tough anymore?)

The Saints have given up a touchdown on the opening drive in five of their past six games.

Bucs players are responding well to the possibility that coach Raheem Morris will continue to work as the defensive coordinator in 2010.

Russ Grimm’s performance this year with the Cardinals’ offensive line could mean that Grimm won’t be there next year.

How bad are the Rams?  In their search for positive things to say, the local media is reduced to writing about the punter.

Despite three straight not-so-respectable performances, 49ers RB Frank Gore still commands respect.

Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck practiced Thursday, with a sore shoulder.