Wayne plots revenge on Reed for dead snake

Alright, so this story apparently isn’t that new.

But it’s new to us, and it’s better than the old Colts-Ravens storylines.

Ed Reed and Reggie Wayne are great friends going back to their days at “The U.”  When Wayne was drafted by the Colts, he left his pet nine-foot pet green Burmese python for Reed to take care of during his senior year.

Wayne got a concise text one day: “Law’s dead.”

“He killed my snake,” Wayne said to reporters Wednesday. “He neglected my snake.  He was supposed to reimburse me with a new one. He hasn’t done that yet. Thanks for bringing that up because I’ll be
sure to bring it up with him this week.”

Reed and Wayne are still very close, speaking on the phone three times a week for 30 minutes each time.  (I suddenly feel worse about not always answering my parent’s phone calls.) 

Wayne has been in the news for other off-field pursuits this week.  We’d like to congratulate him for the ambitious entertainment complex he is helping to fund in the New Orleans area. The name: Wayne’s World.

23 responses to “Wayne plots revenge on Reed for dead snake

  1. Why are the Packers even an N.F.L. team?They should be playing high school teams or on a women football leauge.

  2. @ Citizen Strange- what kind of ignoranus comment is that? Why does having a snake make you an asshole? Just because you’re not open-minded or intelligent enough to care for a snake and enjoy the owning one yourself doesn’t mean you have to put down people who (like myself) enjoy it. Just more reason for me to cheer on the Colts in this one.

  3. I’m disappointed in you, Greg. You know Florio would have at least drawn a parallel Seinfeld reference to George Costanza having to reimburs his Girlfriend for her dead cat…

  4. Reed is such an idiot. I mean, how hard is it to take care of a 9 foot python? Just feed it a cheerleader every once in awhile.

  5. If only a-holes have snakes as pets, then I guess that makes me a triple a-hole.
    They’re great for keeping the mouse population down. I actually have to buy rats to feed mine. And I haven’t seen a stray cat around here in years …

  6. Typical assholes — asshole 1 is like, “yeah, I gotta go and don’t want to bother taking my pet even though I can easily afford it, take care of it, OK?” Asshole 2 is like, “Whoops, forgot to feed your pet.” Asshole 1 says, “You owe me [x] dollars for a new one! That damn pet cost me [x] dollars!” Hope they get catastrophic knee injuries on the same play.

  7. another she said / she said
    the girls on the view generally have more testosterone than these two

  8. Wait.
    You don’t always answer when your parents call?
    You mean you make them walk down the stairs to the basement to tell you its time for dinner?
    You are sad!

  9. Just watch animal cops and you will see most nfl type players dont give a shet about there pets. mike vick

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