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Pats say “there is no trade”

Rumor quickly became reality on Tuesday night, with FOX’s Jay Glazer reporting that the Patriots are close to shipping receiver Randy Moss back to the Vikings.

Now, the Minnesota and Boston media are pursuing the story like Homer chasing a chocolate-filled Uter with a wet towel.

Ian Rapoport of the Boston Herald reports that the Patriots are saying “there is no trade.” In this regard, conjugation could be critical. They’re not saying “there will be no trade.” They’re only saying “there is no trade.” And Glazer hasn’t reported that there “is” a trade.

Rapoport also reports that he’s told a trade is not “done,” but he confirms that a trade is being discussed.

Albert Breer, formerly of the Boston Globe and now with NFL Network (congrats, by the way, Mr. Breer) reports that “no one is shooting this down, when given the chance to” and "[s]omething’s happening.”

So stay tuned. We’ll be on this thing all night if need be.

After all, that kid has bosoms.