1. Packers (No. 1; 6-0): Brett Favre will be surprised at how long the cork stays in the champagne bottle of the ’72 Dolphins.
2. Ravens (No. 6; 4-1): They might be the only team that can beat the Pats in the playoffs, and that can stay within 20 of the Packers in the Super Bowl.
3. Patriots (No. 5; 5-1): It’s hard to tell whether the bigger indignity would be to cut Chad Ochocinco, or to keep him and not use him.
4. 49ers (No. 7; 5-1): “Hacksaw” Jim Harbaugh should dispense with the post-game handshake and go with a simple thumb’s up.
5. Lions (No. 3; 5-1): If Jim Schwartz ever gets fired by the Lions, Pete Carroll would surely hire him.
6. Raiders (No. 9; 4-2): The only thing that would make this story better is an instant impact from Terelle Pryor.
7. Chargers (No. 8; 4-1): The bye was only a slightly weaker opponent than most of San Diego’s first five foes.
8. Buccaneers (No. 15; 4-2): Raheem Morris should get coach of the year votes for getting that 48-3 taste out of his team’s mouth so quickly.
9. Saints (No. 2; 4-2): Bill Belichick would list Sean Payton as probable on the injury report.
10. Giants (No. 13; 4-2): It was fitting that the rematch of Super Bowl XXV was decided by a field goal.
11. Steelers (No. 11; 4-2): With upcoming games in back-to-back weeks against the Patriots and Ravens, we’re about to learn a lot about this team.
12. Bengals (No. 14; 4-2): The best team no one is paying attention to needs to beat the Ravens or Steelers before anyone will notice.
13. Bills (No. 4; 4-2): If the Bills want to be elite, they need to find a way to beat good teams on the road.
14. Bears (No. 17; 3-3): Lovie Smith should shake things up like that every week.
15. Texans (No. 10; 3-3): Those three losses will be largely forgotten if they can beat the Titans on Sunday.
16. Titans (No. 16; 3-2): Those three victories will be largely forgotten if they can’t beat the Texans on Sunday.
17. Redskins (No. 12; 3-2): John Beck won’t need a name tag on his shirt much longer.
18. Falcons (No. 18; 3-3): If the Falcons really focus and apply themselves, they can win the privilege of getting blown out at Lambeau Field in the playoffs.
19. Jets (No. 20; 3-3): The Jets could have beaten maybe three or four teams last night. Fortunately, they played one of them.
20. Cowboys (No. 19; 2-3): If you aren’t going to trust Tony Romo in the clutch, why is Tony Romo your quarterback?
21. Eagles (No. 23; 2-4): A Vince Young interception has been approved by the FDA as treatment for a concussion.
22. Seahawks (No. 22; 2-3): The good news? Tarvaris Jackson could play this weekend. The bad news? Tarvaris Jackson could play this weekend.
23. Panthers (No. 21; 1-5): The silver lining in this year’s 1-5 record is that the Panthers could ending getting one of the best defensive players in the 2012 draft pool.
24. Browns (No. 24; 2-3): At least the Madden Curse is striking in some new and creative ways.
25. Chiefs (No. 25; 2-3): Todd Haley likely didn’t attend any concerts during the bye week.
26. Broncos (No. 27; 1-4): That sixth-round pick in 2012 will go a long way toward helping Tim Tebow succeed in 2011.
27. Vikings (No. 26; 1-5): If the Vikings don’t sit down Donovan McNabb soon, maybe the big issue next year at this time will be whether they’ll bench Christian Ponder for Andrew Luck.
28. Cardinals (No. 28; 1-4): A visit from the Steelers on Sunday will be a harsh reminder of how far the Cardinals have fallen since Super Bowl XLIII.
29. Jaguars (No. 29; 1-5): Moral victories don’t keep coaches from getting fired.
30. Colts (No. 30; 0-6): “Suck for Luck” should be the title of the team’s official 2011 season DVD.
31. Rams (No. 31; 0-5): If the Brandon Lloyd trade works out, the Rams perhaps will be 4-12 instead of 2-14.
32. Dolphins (No. 32; 0-5): Brandon Marshall apparently decided that, instead of being ejected in the second quarter, he’d simply become a non-factor then.