1. Packers (No. 1; 12-0): The Packers are so good that they’d keep winning even if they rest their starters.
2. Ravens (No. 2; 9-3): If the Ravens secure the No. 1 seed in the AFC, not many teams could beat them in Baltimore.
3. Steelers (No. 3; 9-3): And here’s one of those teams.
4. Patriots (No. 4; 9-3): And here’s possibly the only other.
5. Saints (No. 5; 9-3): This team’s fate will hinge on its ability to win on the road in the postseason.
6. 49ers (No. 6; 10-2): In hindsight, the 49ers should be very thankful for that Thanksgiving night wake-up call.
7. Texans (No. 7; 9-3): Another week, another injury. And another victory.
8. Cowboys (No. 8; 7-5): Maybe next week Jason Garrett will call for a punt block. While his team is trying to punt.
9. Broncos (No. 14; 7-5): If they win the Super Bowl, we wonder whether Tim Tebow will say, “This one’s for John.”
10. Raiders (No. 9; 7-5): Rolando McClain may have preferred jail to what he had to endure on Sunday in Miami.
11. Falcons (No. 11; 7-5): When the Falcons gave up all those picks on draft day, they likely assumed they were getting a guy who would catch a ball that hits him in the hands when the game is on the line.
12. Jets (No. 15; 7-5): The team’s game plans look conspicuously like a recipe for sausage.
13. Titans (No. 16; 7-5): The team that no one has noticed is close to putting the rest of the AFC on notice.
14. Lions (No. 12; 7-5): That loss likely felt a lot like getting stomped on.
15. Bengals (No. 13; 7-5): Well, at least they have two first-round picks in next year’s draft.
16. Giants (No. 17; 6-6): For the Giants, the playoffs start on Sunday night.
17. Bears (No. 10; 7-5): In explaining the decision to not sign another quarterback, Lovie Smith said Caleb Hanie will get better. Hanie surely can’t get much worse.
18. Seahawks (No. 19; 5-7): If everyone else keeps losing, the Seahawks could swipe a playoff berth.
19. Chargers (No. 24; 5-7): If everyone else keeps losing, the Chargers could swipe a playoff berth.
20. Cardinals (No. 22; 5-7): If everyone else keeps losing, the Cardinals could swipe a playoff berth.
21. Dolphins (No. 25; 4-8): The Dolphins couldn’t swipe a playoff berth with a ski mask and a gun.
22. Chiefs (No. 23; 5-7): When a team’s most effective play is the Hail Mary, that’s a problem.
23. Panthers (No. 27; 4-8): The season will be deemed a success if the Panthers don’t finish fourth in their division. As of right now, it’s a success.
24. Bills (No. 21; 5-7): Our friends in Buffalo continue to deserve more.
25. Eagles (No. 18; 4-8): Our friends in Philly continue to deserve more.
26. Buccaneers (No. 20; 4-8): Our friends in Tampa continue to deserve more.
27. Browns (No. 26; 4-8): Our friends in Cleveland continue to deserve more.
28. Redskins (No. 28; 4-8): Our friends in Washington continue to deserve more.
29. Jaguars (No. 29; 3-9): We don’t have many friends in Jacksonville right now.
30. Vikings (No. 30; 2-10): Les Steckel wishes Zygi Wilf had bought the Vikings 24 years before he actually did.
31. Rams (No. 31; 2-10): Steve Spagnuolo wishes Zygi Wilf had bought the Rams instead of the Vikings.
32. Colts (No. 32; 0-12): Perhaps the only way the Colts can screw up their shot at Andrew Luck is by resting their starters.