Well, here’s a story we never thought we’d be writing.
It all started with actor Rob Lowe saying on Twitter that he has been told that Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is going to retire. The whole idea of Lowe breaking maybe the biggest piece of NFL news of the year would seem at first to be too ridiculous to take seriously, except that Lowe and Colts owner Jim Irsay have been quoted in the past as saying they’re friendly, and they’ve been photographed together, and, well, who knows? Stranger things have happened than Rob Lowe being the guy who breaks the Peyton Manning retirement news. (Even if I can’t think of anything stranger at the moment.)
Lowe’s report seemed to be dealt a fatal blow when both Manning’s agent and his dad, Archie, said that it simply wasn’t true: Peyton is not retiring.
We probably would be done talking about the Rob Lowe Report now, except that Irsay decided to weigh in on Twitter with what has to be the most bizarre 140-character missive he has ever written (and that’s saying something):
“My sources tell me Rob will star in an epic remake of ‘Deep Throat’ with aging porn stars and 4 finger circus clowns!”
I’m not sure if Irsay is taking a swipe at Lowe’s infamous 1980s sex tape, or if he’s just trying to come up with a Twitter report of his own that’s even weirder than Lowe’s, but this has to be the strangest thing we’ve written about in quite some time.
The only thing that could make it even more bizarre is if it turns out that Lowe’s report was right.
Or if Irsay’s report is right.