Hillis denies CIA story

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On Thursday, a report emerged that Browns running back Peyton Hillis contemplated retirement near the end of the 2011 season, and that he wanted to join the CIA.

On Friday, Hillis denied it.

Hillis tells Mary Kay Cabot of the Cleveland Plain Dealer that the report is “100 percent false” and that it “makes me sound insane.”

Something that sounds far less insane is his belief that the story was planted to harm his value on the free-agent market.  Something that sounds incredibly naive is that he says he has no idea who would do that.

The suspicions should start with the Browns, especially since the report from Adam Schefter of ESPN indicates that Hillis shared his plans with Browns coaches.

Then again, Hillis has every reason to claim that the report is false in the hopes of salvaging his value.  Boosting his value, at least in Cleveland, is his stated willingness to give the team a “hometown discount.”

With the Browns using the franchise tag on kicker Phil Dawson, Hillis will become a free agent on March 13 unless he signs a new deal.


51 responses to “Hillis denies CIA story

  1. Anyone that publicly says they want to work for the CIA immediately gets on the list of those watched by the CIA. (Yeah I know, foreign service and technically the FBI is domestic…but you know).

  2. Agent Hillis recently leaked the New Orleans Saints bounty ring, and for that we are very proud of him.

    Hopefully he can continue his undercover work under the guise of an effective short yardage running back working for the league minimum.

  3. willingness to give the team a “hometown discount.”


    So he’ll take a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a chick that smells like Marlboro lights…?

  4. Adam has become as bad as Mort for this kind of story. According to an unnamed source apparently has become an excuse to say anything. Hey never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Doesn’t matter that their story is effecting a man’s livelihood, let’s make a headline.

  5. I’m inclined to believe him. If the report was true, I doubt he would have characterized his own desire as “insane,” even when lying to cover it up. And after the way he acted last season, there are more than a few people in the NFL who might be inclined to leak a lie like that just out of spite.

  6. Yeah, I believe Hillis, there are too many unscrupulous hack writers today, fabricating stories, using that “unnamed source” tag. Someone needs to hold these tools accountable for throwing BS. around to “break” news to get publicity. Karma is a beeaaawwch.

  7. If someone indeed put this story out there and it’s bogus, then that ‘someone’ needs to be outed by Schefter. Who is his source, and what the bleep is going on here? This is outrageous. Someone is lying or delusional. They can’t both be right. Hopefully Hillis stays and helps out RG3 next season in Cleveland.

  8. Off topic. Anyone else have trouble with their votes registering correctly on hand held devices?

  9. If this story was in physical form Hillis would bust right through it and make it shatter into a thousand pieces

  10. It’s true, he’s not going to join the CIA, he’s going to join CTU!!

    The following takes place in the Browns locker room between 3:00am and 4:00am……

  11. The first thing they teach you in the CIA is how to lie.

    So if one wishes to join the CIA, he’d better be a good liar.

    Can’t be a good spy without being a good liar. Everyone
    knows that spies who can’t lie good often times wind up dead.

    Wouldn’t it be funny if (after his career is REALLY over)
    Hillis DOES join the CIA?

  12. mikehockhurtz says:
    Mar 2, 2012 11:27 PM
    At least football is an honest day’s work.




    Sam Hurd


    What’s wrong with an honest day’s work



    Cocaine Importing Agency

  13. Peyton and Tiger sitting in a tree
    S P Y I N G
    First comes bin laden
    Then comes Ghaddafi
    Then comes … Ah shucks. Can’t think of anything that rhymes with Ghaddafi

  14. Of course he doesn’t want to get into the CIA. It requires hard work he doesn’t want to put in!

  15. Here’s the real story…

    He was on his way to a youth outing scheduled for late evening at 79th & Hough. He made a wrong turn and ended up in Parma where he was abducted by Aliens. (Quite a few live there and others frequent it often). The used him for testing an advanced strep throat virus based WMD. This virus also caused his hands to go numb, his legs to feel like lead and some disorientation.

    Recently he got an antidote from the Dali Lama, who also advised Hillis to fire his agent and listen to a conch shell fashioned in the image of Budda.

    Hillis feels fine now. He is confident that he is worth 10 million a year guaranteed. And, after telling his story to Heckert (who immediately developed chest pains) he thinks the Browns are on board also.

  16. I am so sorry for Hillis ever being traded to the brown Clowns. They are carreer killers. I have no doubt that Denver regrets it, trading for another big name loser from ND. I hope he can get out of there to a team that actually wants to win championships instead of sell tickets. Few on this site know anything about Hillis the man, and if they did there would be much different posts here!

  17. Franchise a kicker. No wonder this team sucks. All of you fantasy fools who dont know jack about football will think this is a great move.

  18. vincentbojackson says:
    Mar 2, 2012 9:44 PM

    CIA = Constantly Injured Athlete

    Hillis would be a natural.
    This might be funny- if it made any sense. Why do people write this dumb stuff that has no basis in reality?

    2008: No injuries.
    2009: No injuries.
    2010: No injuries.
    2011: Injured/sick/whatever for 6 out of 16 games.

    Since Hillis was a backup in Denver, it’s not like he was starting 16 games, but he did appear in a lot of them in ’08 and ’09 because of injuries to the starting RB.

    Bottom line: Between Denver and Cleveland, Hillis has had the opportunity to play in 59 games. He’s played in 53 of them. Missed 6 games out of nearly 60. That means he’s been injured for basically 10% of the games he could have played in.

    So where does this “Constantly Injured Athlete” BS come from? Oh right, your completely clueless mind. Got it.

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