Thursday morning one-liners


National reports suggesting other teams to Los Angeles buffers Tim Graham of the Buffalo News’ belief that local money will eventually keep the Bills in Western New York.

Ben Volin of the Palm Beach Post invokes The Talking Heads as he looks back at the Dolphins offseason. (And I’d give five bucks to see Joe Philbin say “This is not my quarterback,” in the voice of David Byrne).

Not everyone in Boston is ready to laugh off Patriots owner Robert Kraft’s bizarre audition tape with his “pal.”

Jets TE Dustin Keller broke the code of silence at Mark Sanchez’s “Jets West” camp, saying “All these people taking time out to come out here because our team leader [Sanchez] wanted them to is very encouraging. It speaks volumes.”

The older brother of a UFC champion and a first-round pick will be fighting for a starting job when Ravens camp opens.

Bengals CB Brandon Ghee got ready for last season during the lockout by signing up for CrossFit workouts at a storefront gym alongside folks from the nearby office park.

The Browns’ offensive line could be a strength for the team (not that there are many groups to choose from).

The idea of the Steelers playing in Ireland has some support, but they insist they won’t give up a home game to do so.

The Texans have some depth questions at wide receiver.

Mr. Irrelevant Chandler Harnish now has to fight for a job as the Colts’ third QB in training camp.

Nobody wins if Jaguars K Josh Scobee plays out the year on his one-year franchise tender.

The guys competing for a fullback job with the Titans are going to have to contribute in multiple ways.

Broncos strength coach Luke Richesson is using technology and leaning on nutrition to help the team finish strong.

The Hunt family and their team are issuing a call for artists to kick off the Kansas City Chiefs Art Program.

This guy thinks the Raiders should have had eight players in the NFL Top 100 list. Please mock him, not me.

Chargers second-rounder Kendall Reyes has been working out with players at his old high school in New Hampshire to stay ready for training camp.

Cris Collinsworth thinks the Cowboys can reach the Super Bowl, if three specific things happen.

Developers are lining up Shrek and Kung Fu Panda for the theme park which the Giants and Jets are suing to stop.

Eagles QB Michael Vick, fashion designer, said he’s surrounded himself with a “smart group of people,” and has stepped away from the crowd that helped him into trouble in the past.

Redskins OLB Ryan Kerrigan impressed by not missing a defensive snap as a rookie last year, 1,056 plays in all.

The Bears often play in icy conditions, but next February, Solider Field will host a college hockey doubleheader.

Lions DT Ndamukong Suh says his defensive line mates can attack teams in different ways (that doesn’t involve stomping).

Veterans Packers trainer Pepper Burruss isn’t ready to declare Brett Favre’s consecutive starts streak of 297 unbreakable.

Vikings P Chris Kluwe took to Twitter surprised to see merchandise being sold with his old uniform number.

Said Falcons coach Mike Smith, of playing in a charity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe: “I’ve been hitting a lot of balls and hopefully, I will not finish last.”

There are big expectations for Panthers DT Ron Edwards, who didn’t play a snap last year.

Saints fans are getting nervous about the Drew Brees situation as the deadline nears for a long-term deal.

Rick Stroud of the Tampa Bay Times says not to expect a rush to judgement on CB Eric Wright.

Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald is comfortable working alongside divisional rivals during his offseason sessions in Minnesota.

Rams rookie WR Brian Quick is trying to become the latest in a long line of great receivers from the FCS level.

The 49ers now have a legal opponent for the $30 million in tax funds for a new stadium.

The Seahawks don’t have many candidates, but the city of Seattle is pining for a true sports superstar.