1. 49ers (four first-place votes): The most complete team in the NFL looks even better than last year.
2. Texans (one first-place vote): The first two weeks have been like a major-college schedule for the Texans, with Miami and Jacksonville playing the role of Savannah State and Arkansas State.
3. Packers: The defense is moving in the right direction. Which is good because the offense suddenly isn’t.
4. Eagles: Eventually, the defense is going to order a Code Red against Mike Vick.
5. Patriots: Gostkowski picked the worst possible time to kick like Vanderjagt.
6. Ravens: Maybe Joe Flacco shouldn’t have shaved his unibrow.
7. Steelers: Only the Steelers can thrive amid so much change and turmoil.
8. Giants: Too many injuries and a short-week trip to Charlotte could drop the Giants out of the top 10.
9. Falcons: Jon Gruden ‘s “Road Rage” nickname for Michael Turner ended up being a very good one.
10. Broncos: The rest of the league will be thanking the Falcons for providing the blueprint for beating Peyton Manning.
11. Chargers: Yes, they’ve beaten no one. But the fact that the notoriously slow-starting Chargers have charged to 2-0 is big news.
12. Cardinals: They could be 0-2 just as easily as they are 2-0.
13. Panthers: They’re finally using all those running backs they paid all that money to.
14. Lions: The Lions don’t seem to have gotten any better since last year, which will keep them from going any farther this year.
15. Seahawks: With Seattle beating Dallas by 20 and no one noticing, maybe there really is an East Coast Bias.
16. Redskins: The ticker-tape parade for February has been put on hold. Temporarily.
17. Cowboys: At least Tony Romo didn’t fumble the snap on a game-winning field goal try.
18. Bears: Eventually, the entire team is going to order a Code Red against Jay Cutler.
19. Jets: The report that Tim Tebow will ask for a trade after the season is definitely false. He’s going to ask for a trade during the season.
20. Bills: There’s a new CJ2K. And he’s already nearly 15 percent of the way to 2K.
21. Bengals: They continue to win the games they should, and lose the games they should.
22. Buccaneers: As it turns out, crashing a victory formation creates even more buzz than doing Hard Knocks.
23. Rams: This team will be matching its 2011 win total, soon.
24. Saints: Drew Brees really needs an explanation.
25. Colts: Wee wun ar gaim! TRADES WINDZ STILL BLOWING!!!!! HATPICKKC!
26. Dolphins: Those empty orange seats got to see a great game from the home team.
27. Vikings: That win over the Jaguars was quickly put in perspective.
28. Chiefs: So will Ralph Wilson’s family sell the Chiefs after he passes?
29. Titans: Who’s the idiot who picked this team to win the AFC South?
30. Raiders: I’ve said the Raiders took one step back in the hopes of taking many future steps forward. Maybe they took like five steps back.
31. Jaguars: Shahid Khan’s train is still stuck in the station.
32. Browns: Hope and close losses won’t keep Jimmy Haslam from cleaning house.