1. Texans (four first-place votes): Their flirtation with the 1-9 Jaguars cost them nothing in the standings, but two of our six voters decided based on that performance that best team in the NFL currently doesn’t reside in Houston.
2. Falcons (one first-place vote): When a team can have six turnovers and still win, that’s a pretty good team. (Then again, it may have had something to do with the fact that the team it was playing is pretty bad.)
3. Patriots (one first-place vote): Rob Gronkowski was more likely to break an arm spiking the football than serving on the PAT team.
4. 49ers: Maybe the 49ers shut Alex Smith down because they knew what Colin Kaepernick could do.
5. Ravens: So should the Ravens feel good or bad about beating the hapless, Ben-less Steelers by three points?
6. Broncos: The question isn’t whether they’ll win the AFC West. The question is how many times they’ll lap the field.
7. Packers: Five straight wins, and the Packers are looking a lot like the team that won 15 in 2011.
8. Giants: Falling into the annual November swoon is the easy part. Getting out of it is the hard part.
9. Seahawks: The final game of the replacement referee debacle could end up helping Seattle a lot more than it hurts Green Bay.
10. Steelers: With Ben Roethlisberger and now Byron Leftwich injured, the Browns have never been happier to see the Steelers come to town.
11. Bears: Before assuming that Monday night’s outcome would have been different with Jay Cutler, remember that the offensive line would have been the same.
12. Buccaneers: With the surging Bucs struggling to sell out against the 9-1 Falcons, it’s hard not to wonder whether they could fill up a stadium even if the tickets were free.
13. Saints: We’ve got a feeling Gregg Williams won’t be seeking — or receiving — permission to attend the Saints’ first meeting with the 49ers since the “kill the head” game.
14. Vikings: Suddenly, the prospect of playing the Bears twice in three weeks doesn’t seem quite so daunting.
15. Bengals: They still have to beat the Steelers or Ravens to steal a wild-card berth, but at least they’re finally winning games again.
16. Colts: Somewhere, Peyton Manning is saying, “I never lost by 35 at New England.”
17. Cowboys: Wow, Rob Ryan really stuck it to the Browns.
18. Redskins: That “evaluation” process has gotten off to a pretty good start. We suggest keeping the guy who wears No. 10.
19. Bills: Win at Indy, and things could get interesting for the Bills. (And, yes, I typed “Win at Indy” with a straight face. Mostly.)
20. Titans: Based on what they did to the Dolphins, the Titans could be a factor in the scrum for the sixth seed.
21. Lions: Sending Titus Young home for the week makes us wonder who’ll perform the Second Annual Thanksgiving Stomp.
22. Jets: On Thanksgiving night, America will be thankful to not be subjected to bounce passes from the backup quarterback.
23. Rams: Danny Amendola now realizes a tie is much better than losing to the Jets.
24. Chargers: With four of the final six games at home, the Chargers are about to save a lot of money on ticket-printing costs.
25. Dolphins: Ryan Tannehill didn’t hit the rookie wall. The rookie wall hit him.
26. Cardinals: So when does Larry Fitzgerald ask to be traded?
27. Eagles: So when does DeSean Jackson ask to be traded?
28. Panthers: So when does Cam Newton ask to be traded?
29. Raiders: So when does Carson Palmer ask why did you trade for me?
30. Browns: The Factory of Sadness is working overtime, now that it’s the holiday season.
31. Jaguars: Losing with flair doesn’t make losing any better.
32. Chiefs: Losing without flair makes losing a lot worse.