Thursday morning one-liners


Various members of the Bills tried to identify the football equivalent of Jack Taylor’s 138-point game.

Though Jets S LaRon Landry visited the Patriots before signing in New York, Landry says he wants to remain a Jet.

The Dolphins, though not fishes, came up with enough loaves to feed 7,500 on Wednesday.

Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler believes the Patriots will win on Thanksgiving night by the score of 90-88.

The Bengals aren’t expected to announce whether the return of QB Carson Palmer will result in a sellout until Sunday.

Despite plenty of injuries on defense, the Ravens have been very healthy on the offensive side of the ball.

Browns coach Pat Shurmur feels the passion of the rivalry with the Steelers.

Steelers QB Brian Hoyer has gone from throwing passes to high-school players in Cleveland to guys like Mike Wallace.

Jags DT Terrance Knighton and several teammates held a Thanksgiving celebration for 100 needy families.

The Titans believe that, this year, they can be the team that gets hot down the stretch.

To help QB Andrew Luck get through the team’s debacle in New England, Colts interim coach Bruce Arians reminded Luck that QB Peyton Manning had a rough time in his Foxboro debut, too.

Texans players are excited to be making their Thanksgiving debut.

Broncos WR Eric Decker, G Chris Kuper, DT Ben Garland, and LB Joe Mays helped prepare sides dishes for the annual Thanksgiving community dinner sponsored by the Salvation Army.  (Given his hit on Matt Schaub, it would be fitting for Mays to be responsible for removing the kernels from the “ears” of corn.)

Former Chiefs G.M. Carl Peterson is “saddened” by the current state of the franchise.  (That also accurately describes the feelings of the fan base during most of his 20-year tenure there.)

Former Raiders coach Hue Jackson, now an assistant in Cincinnati, has nothing to say about facing his former team; “I think I will pass on making a comment at this point,” Jackson said.  “I think it’s best for me to say as little as possible.”

The Chargers possibly will celebrate Thanksgiving by giving thanks for not being worse than 4-6.

The Giants have elevated OT Selvish Capers from the practice squad, filling the roster spot created by the placement of DT Markus Kuhn on IR with a torn ACL.

Eagles WR DeSean Jackson seems to think that the team is lacking in leaders.

The Redskins expect real contributions from WR Pierre Garςon over the balance of the season.

Cowboys exec Stephen Jones wasn’t alarmed by the large number of fans who left Sunday’s overtime win early.

The Packers know that they need to run the ball well or use the short passing game effectively to beat the Giants.

Bears DE Shea McClellin has been cleared to practice after suffering a concussion; he has not yet been cleared to play.

At Thursday’s Lions game, 50,000 “Movember”-themed towels will be distributed.

Vikings RB Adrian Peterson plans to call Chicago Bulls star Derrick Rose with advice on how to come back from a torn ACL.

Offensive coordinator Dirk Koetter says the Falcons will be ready for the Bucs to attack the victory formation.

Saints QB Drew Brees knows that he’ll need to make quick decisions on Sunday, with 49ers defenders Aldon Smith and Justin Smith bearing down on him.

Buccaneers CB Eric Wright declined to get specific regarding a report that he faces a four-game suspension for taking Adderall.

The Panthers are getting nervous about extending their 101-game sellout streak through the end of the season.

The Rams raised more than $42,000 to help Sterling Thomas, a young football player who was paralyzed last month.

The 49ers new stadium will host the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl.  (One way to “fight hunger” would be to charge less than $10 for a tube of pink pig scraps in a soggy bun.)

Cardinals RB Beanie Wells never wants to have to sit out two months in a row again.

Seahawks FB Michael Robinson will face former Penn State teammate Cameron Wake for the first time on Sunday.

7 responses to “Thursday morning one-liners

  1. Question: Football equivalent of Jack Taylor’s 138-point game?

    Answer: Adrian Peterson’s 296 rushing yards against San Diego in 2007.


  2. “Cowboys exec Stephen Jones wasn’t alarmed by the large number of fans who left Sunday’s overtime win early.”

    And this is what we’ve got to look forward to when the ‘ol man passes the torch?

    Clueless. Sighhh…

  3. Jack Taylor scored 138 cause he was the only one on the team shooting. Every single shot was by him, while still very impressive it’s kind of a manufactured achievement.

  4. The NFL equivalent of Jack Taylor is Tim Tebow. They both want their unselfish teammates to change everything they to do accommodate one guy so that guy can look like a hero when in fact, he’s just a selfish jerk.

  5. Taylor scored 138, the final score was 170 something to 104…so by that mere fact, your argument is nullified…stop being bitter and trying to take the kid’s thunder, maunfactured achievement? Please!

  6. Very impressive. Very manufactured. The record is obviously outstanding but honestly, it says more about the graciousness of the coach and the players than it does about his skill set. They had to be willing to let it happen.

  7. “Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler believes the Patriots will win on Thanksgiving night by the score of 90-88.”

    Keep him out of Washington State and Colorado!!!


    J-Lo left a show that I don’t care about for a reason!!!

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