Saturday morning one-liners

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The $20 million home built by Patriots QB Tom Brady and his other half who earns well over half of the family income has a moat.  (And if they get past the moat, Tom will be ready with his sliding crane kick.)

With Ike Hilliard serving as the Bills’ receivers coach, the wideouts will have a position coach who played at the NFL level for the first time since Charlie Joiner in 2000.

So what should the Dolphins do with LT Jake Long?

CB Antonio Cromartie says the Jets “can’t lose a guy like” Darrelle Revis.

Steelers RB Isaac Redman is due to become a restricted free agent in March.

The defamation lawsuit filed by the Bengals cheerleader who pleaded guilty to having a relationship against a gossip website ended in a mistrial.

Here are some thoughts about the things about which the Browns are thinking.

Ravens CB Asa Jackson says the people hitting him up for seats at the Super Bowl are “not quite in the ticket budget range” for this specific game.

The Texans average general-admission ticket price will increase by 9.8 percent in 2013.

Some Colts fans had some questions about teams, and someone from the Colts website had some answers.

The radio description of the Titans’ “Music City Miracle” has been named one of the top calls in sports history.

The Jaguars continue to support local charities and programs in Jacksonville.

The mother of deceased Chiefs LB Jovan Belcher is still trying to secure custody of Belcher’s daughter, Zoey.

The powers-that-be in Oakland will spend $1 million to study new stadium proposals.

In an appearance with CNN’s Piers Morgan, Broncos V.P. of football operations John Elway talked about fake girlfriends and real guns.

Since the Chargers didn’t make it to the real tournament, they’ve concocted a tournament of the best plays from a year that wasn’t good enough to get them to the real tournament.

Former Giants DE Michael Strahan talks about his upcoming Hall of Fame bid.

MADD is working with the Cowboys on strategies to raise team awareness regarding the consequences of drunk driving.

The lawyer for former Redskins CB Fred Smoot wants to make one thing clear about Smoot’s recent DUI arrest in D.C.:  Smoot did not pee in his pants.

If the Eagles return to a 3-4 defense, there could be plenty of changes on the defensive line.

Here’s an argument for the Lions drafting Texas safety Kenny Vaccaro.

Vikings K Blair Walsh offered to pay for P Chris Kluwe to attend the Pro Bowl, but Kluwe doesn’t want a free ride unless he earns it.

Even if the read-option is only a fad, teams like the Packers need to adjust to it.

Bears DT Henry Melton remains optimistic that he’ll work out a deal to stay in Chicago before the start of free agency.

Saints P Thomas Morstead finds it “surreal” to be hanging out at the pool after Pro Bowl practice with the “best athletes in the world.”  (Meanwhile, the “best athletes in the world” find it surreal that Morstead has a puzzled look on his face when they tell him they’d like a Mai Tai and a bowl of macadamia nuts.)

It could be that the Falcons will get $300 million in public money for their proposed new stadium only if the effort avoids a vote from the Georgia legislature.

So how can the Bucs recapture their 10-year-old glory?  Here are 12 steps for getting there.

Panthers LB Luke Kuechly is still working toward finishing his marketing degree at Boston College.

49ers coach Jim Harbaugh sought advice from John Madden on how to handle the Super Bowl:  “I just know that over the years watching it, the team that complains the most when they get down there usually loses,” Madden said.  “The other thing I know is that you haven’t done anything yet.  And I think that the team that celebrates having gotten there the most usually loses focus.”

Rams G.M. Les Snead talks about the pool of talent at the Senior Bowl.

Here’s photographic proof that Seahawks QB Russell Wilson is the same size as Drew Brees.

Cardinals coach Bruce Arians said this week of the team’s quarterbacks:  “I’m going to give them all a shot.”  (John McKay would be in favor of that.)