Chuck Norris on Tim Tebow: He reminds me of myself

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Tim Tebow doesn’t sleep. He waits.

Tim Tebow has counted to infinity. Twice.

When Tim Tebow does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself. He’s pushing the earth down.

Yes, we can now take Chuck Norris Facts and turn them into Tim Tebow Facts, because the man himself, Chuck Norris, has given Tebow his seal of approval. Norris wrote a column in which he decried Tebow’s current unemployment and said that Tebow is a lot like Norris himself.

“Tebow is a player who rises to the occasion and delivers big in critical game moments,” Norris wrote. “He reminds me of myself when I used to compete in martial arts. I would spar with my black belts in class, and sometimes they would outscore me. Yet in the tournaments, I would defeat them. My students used to ask me, ‘Why can we contend equally against you in class, but we can’t beat you in the tournaments?’ My answer was always the same, ‘When it counts, I rise to the occasion.’ The same is true of the former Heisman Trophy winner: When pressure mounts and the game is on the line, Tim’s turbo turns on!”

Truthfully, Norris should probably stick with the roundhouse kicks and leave the football analysis to others, because his analysis of Tebow leaves a lot to be desired. If it’s true that when it counts, Tebow (like Norris) rises to the occasion, how are we to explain Tebow’s last game as a starter? That was in the playoffs following the 2011 season, and Tebow went 9-for-26 for 136 yards as the Broncos lost to the Patriots, 45-10.

Norris refers to Tebow as the “ultimate clutch player,” but this NFL season, Tebow is probably going to be missing in action.

107 responses to “Chuck Norris on Tim Tebow: He reminds me of myself

  1. Oh because nobody else has has a terrible game. Never happens.

    Love him or hate him, Tebow brings a lot more to the table than a lot of QBs in the NFL. Both starters and backups.

  2. Tebow clutch? no. Tebow is better compared to a hemorrhoid. he’s painful to experience. his coverage is terrible and he just WON’T go away. seriously…. legitimate NFL qbs don’t get the media this guy gets.

    Tebow coverage is like chuck lidell ground and pound. I’m tapping. ENOUGH already. good god.

  3. No QB is clutch every game. But if you look at Tebow’s work as a starter you cannot deny the guy has clutch in him. He did it many games even if he didn’t against the patriots. Chuck has a point.

    Funny that people keep complaining about Tebow articles. Just don’t click on it. His name is the title so it’s easy to avoid. But truth be told you like Tebow articles because it gives you something to complain on the Internet about.

  4. My world has just been turned upside down…I no longer know what to think or how to feel

  5. How does Tebow reminds Chuck Norris of himself?
    Is Tebow new job as the lead actor in ‘Walker
    Punt Protector Ranger’

    Maybe he meant that both are past their prime?

  6. Chuck needs to cap the “Just for Men” bottle forever, stop making embarrassing political videos, and quietly row away on his total gym to the loser retirement village of his choice. Just go away.

  7. I think at this point it would be appropriate for Mr. T to weigh in on Mr. Tebow!

  8. Why is it that the writers on this site always have to add sarcasm at the end of each story, especially Tebow stories. This is also consistently done on stories about the Raiders. I find that unprofessional and childish. Stick to the news part of the article and leave the sarcasm to us.

  9. So is Chuck Norris admitting he is a no talent hack who is out classed by every other Hollywood actor?

    I am guessing that by his thinking 32 NFL general managers have less of a clue regarding the true talents on an NFL quarterback than did Josh McDaniels?


  10. Great Chuck, get him a job. After all he’s got Hollywood good looks and he’s got a fanbase. Hollywood “good looks” are defined as white and athletic.

    Don’t worry that he can’t act. It never stopped you. If all else fails … need a body double or a stuntman?

    If he doesn’t want to act, there’s always room for a 21st century Elmer Gantry.

  11. I for one found this highly amusing. I needed a good laugh this morning and I got it. It is going to be a great day!

  12. Tebow has 80+ grade the Willingness to Win. He’s like the Billy Hamilton of tWtW.

  13. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Tim Tebow has allowed to live.

  14. Tebow is a man of few accurate passes. Tebow is not a man of a few obnoxious fans.

    Tebow doesn’t need after practice showers, he just runs outside and God cleans him.

    When you buy aspirin the warning label reads “if you encounter Tebow, f*** the warning, take the whole bottle”

    When Tebow Tebow’s, you’d better hope he isn’t aiming his anger at you. Boom!

    Steel bends when Tebow touches it.

  15. Both of these guys love the Lord. Neither fears any man. Sounds like they share their most admirable traits.

  16. I was upset with myself for wasting time out of my life by reading this. Now that I am wasting more time leaving a comment, I am furious.

  17. It doesn’t matter if Chuck Norris is playing poker or not. Every time he drops a deuce, it’s a royal flush

  18. Well, Mercenaries 3 should be filming soon.

    I’d say “maybe he can act,” but them I remember the acting in Mercenaries 1 and 2.

    He’ll do fine…

  19. For Smith’s information, NFL football remains a team game. With the writer’s thinking, then Brady must be lousy like Tebow because Brady also lost his last playoff game? What about Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Matt Ryan, Roethlisberger, Rodgers, and other good or great QB who lost their last playoff game?

    Go ahead and delete and censor this entry as you normally do when there are replies that point out your writers poor thinking (its really a bitch to be a Liberal who can’t think) when continuing your website’s systematic and irrational hate towards Tebow, but remember football is a team game and all players will argue that their stats (good or poor) are meaningless if their team loses the game, especially the playoff game.

    And to keep things in perspective, when have any of you writers won any world championships as Chuck Norris has which would then legitimize and empower you to criticize his opinions about sports and competition? Your disrespect for an aged champion is all too apparent.

  20. The question on the table is “Explain Tebow’s last game as stater” Before I address that question let me say that I believe that the question is irrelevant , it implies that you can not be clutch or rise to the occasion unless you do it every time. That is a impossible standard that no one in sports has ever done but for some reason the Tebow haters hold him and only him to that standard. As to what happened in his last start. New england scored at will on the denver defense ( Tebow does not play defense ) , The game was over before it started. In addition to new england scoring when ever they wanted , Tebow played with broken ribs because he did not want to let down his team mates. I thinks that answers what happened in his last start!

  21. When the boogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    I was once at an elite eight basketball game where the Gators were playing when they had Joakim Noah and that crew and their cheerleaders were holding up a huge sign that read “Chuck Norris is a Gators fan” I guess they weren’t lying.

  22. Lucky for us the media didn’t have the ability to skewer John Elway and Steve Young out of a job like they do with Tim Tebow.

    John Elway 1st year starter numbers
    47.5 comp, 1,663 yards, 7 TD, 14 INT, 54.9 QB rating

    Steve Young year 2 numbers (like Tebow didn’t really play til year 2)
    53.7 comp, 2,282 yards, 8 TD, 13 INT, 65.5 QB rating

    Tim Tebow year 2 numbers (first year as starter)
    46.5 comp, 1,729 yards, 12 TD, 6 INT, 72.9 QB rating

  23. Not being snarky — legitimately asking:

    Why hasn’t Tebow sought out a former NFL QB or a highly respected former NFL coach to help him with his mechanics and accuracy to show he is committed to improving?

    The kid seems to have good character, so why does it seem like he’s not coachable? He has athletic talent, so why can’t he adjust? I’d think it would just be a matter of learning and repetition.

    Am I wrong?

  24. After Sanchez’s recent showing in OTA’s, it makes me wonder why Tebow wasn’t given more of a chance last year when the Jets had him.

  25. The Neocon & Freemason anti-Christian role model blackballing of Tebow continues….

    Why would any Christian patronize the NFL until Tebow is re-employed there?

  26. it’s not okay to suck at practice and “step up when it counts,” because practice counts. if you suck at practice you will suck on game day.

  27. Both are marginally talented dip sticks who think they have a special relationship with imaginary friends in the sky and that somehow makes them heroes.

  28. I agree with tebowislife, a replica of Steve Young, being a season ticket hold of the 49ers for 50 years, I’ve see how Steve developed from Tampa to us, maybe Tebow should get together with Steve and see how it’s done. good Luck Tim, wherever you may go. The talent is there, get somebody to show you how to develop it.

  29. Oh and Chuck Norris jokes were played in 2007, so if you’re still using them that says a lot about your sense of humour (i.e its stale and not very good)

  30. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends an envelope filled with blank well as a picture of himself in a crouched position ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes.

  31. The Cowboys should sign Tebow. Let Romo play for the first 55 minutes and Tebow can use his magically powers to seal the victory or provide an epic comeback in the last 5 minutes

  32. just curious, but you did say playoffs, right? So how’d they get there in the first place? And who’d they beat? I’m guessing by all the TT hate going on, those teams that got beat were some real POS slouch teams..

    And in more recent History, didnt their newest big headed cro magnon man loose in the playoffs as well?

    And yet, he’s world above tebow, right?

  33. this is obviously a case of a conservative christian shilling for another conservative christian. if Tebow was a muslim, Norris would say how he doesn’t belong in the NFL.

  34. So Tebow had a bad game against the Pats, he was basically a rookie. When he played, his level of play was better in the 4th quarter. Chuck isn’t that far offbase.

    The whole Christian paranoia/victim thing is a bit much, but the guy has not been given a fair shot.

  35. The clash between the Tebow believers and heathens is both tiresome and fascinating. In spite of all empirical evidence to the contrary, supporters continue to believe that Tebow has the requisite skills to be a starting QB in this league. On the other hand, given his athleticism, intangibles and leadership skills, the haters are probably wrong that he doesn’t belong on a roster. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. If one were to go through each team and do an objective qb to qb comparison, it would be very difficult to conclude that Tebow brings more potential for excellence than almost all of the other starters and it is easy to conclude that he brings much baggage and distraction, not necessarily of his own creation. In most circumstances, these extras outweigh the potential benefit of adding him to the qb depth chart. He’d be best advised to consider a position switch with the possibility of being the 3rd/emergency qb on a select team. Either way, it will be nice when the day comes that this much ado about nothing, polarizing figure becomes a story only for what he accomplishes on the field and otherwise disappears.

  36. Let’s see…..both are out of work, neither can throw an accurate pass over 15 yards, both have a great future doing info-mercials on cable access channels. Yup — I see it now!

  37. Chuck Norris knows about as much about evaluating NFL talent as he does about politics. Here’s a free tip Chuck: stick to what you know- head bands, karate chops and B movies.

  38. Even Christie Brinkley can’t go along with overhyping a product this much! But, she thinks a home gym is just what Tebow needs to land that Arena League job. Just three easy payments, c’mon, Tim!

  39. Correct me if I’m wrong but “The Most Interesting Man in the World” has been stealing Chuck’s routine for years now. Why Chuckles hasn’t laid a can of whoop-azz on that guy yet is beyond me.

  40. I’m going to let you all in on a little internet secret. The reason Chuck Norris jokes are so awesome… is because everyone knows he’s actually pretty lame.

    So yeah, Tebow is almost exactly like Chuck. A legend in everything but reality. An internet joke.

  41. “Truthfully, Norris should probably stick with the roundhouse kicks and leave the football analysis to others, because his analysis of Tebow leaves a lot to be desired”

    The same could be said about a certain lawyer who decided he was a sports writer.

  42. Here’s the sad part about Tebow’s career. He may not be the most technically proficient QB, but he’s a flat out winner. He knows how to win, knows how to get it done, that’s what matters at the end of the day. The sad part? ESPN and you people bring such a circus when any team even starts to sniff around him, no team wants to even touch him. It’s good though, he has enough money to settle in for life, he can claim he’s a better person than all of you, he can definitely claim he’s better than Stephen Smith and Skip Bayless. With that being said, I really hope some other team signs him, and he wins the super bowl so he can shove it up everyones backside. If horrible quarterbacks like Trent Dilfer and Kyle Boller can play in the NFL and win SBs, shoot a 500 lb man with a concussion and diabetes should be able too.

  43. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

    Tim Tebow doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

  44. “If it’s true that when it counts, Tebow (like Norris) rises to the occasion, how are we to explain Tebow’s last game as a starter? That was in the playoffs following the 2011 season, and Tebow went 9-for-26 for 136 yards as the Broncos lost to the Patriots, 45-10.”

    He was a second year player, who still has more playoff wins as a Bronco than Peyton Manning. Not bad at all considering there are guys who have been in the league for upwards a decade (Ryan Fitzpatrick? Jason Campbell?) who can’t even sniff the playoffs. How did Blaine Gabbert do in his second year, anyway?

  45. Chuck Norris, religious wack job, endorses Tebow. Big surprise. Hey Chuck, 2 things that are factual–earth is over 5 billion years old and dinosaurs existed. 2 things that are fictional– Tebow’s ability as a NFL QB and your face. Is that a picture of him or a picture of a wax figure?

  46. To metrocritical, I’m trying to figure out what “baggage” Tebow brings? I get it, you qualified that it is not of his creation. I’m still trying to figure out what is “contoversial” about a pro football player having good Christian morals and not being ashamed of it?

  47. Chuck Norris reminds me of myself. I had a minor part in a high school play and my wooden presence and absolute lack of acting skills is still remembered with great resentment by those unlucky enough to be forced to endure it.

  48. Norris said during the Presidential campaign that if Obama was re-elected, the world would immediately be plunged into 1,000 years of darkness. Probably not a guy you want extolling your virtues to normal people…

  49. gmarsteller: The baggage Tebow brings is self evident. It’s the media circus, the fervent followers and the controversy that potentially comes from the clamor, none of which he has created or even perpetuated. His good Christian morals are neither a detriment to himself or his team nor are they necessarily an on field asset. The problem with having Tebow on your team as a starting qb is that he brings no positive predictability or consistency to the position as a passer. Forget the mechanics for a moment, his completion percentage is horrible. He doesn’t routinely throw a precise or catchable pass and no coach with high aspirations wants to spend each week going through 56 minutes of wobbly, wild or bouncy passing, hoping that the defense keeps the game close until something within Tebow kicks in to salvage the game. Tebow may be a very good Christian but it doesn’t appear that he can be a consistently good starting qb in the NFL.

  50. The Tebow haters use these Tebow articles to bash Tebow so they can momentarily take their own minds off of how worthless and meaningless their own pathetic and insignificant lives really are.

    And while on the topic, since these Tebow haters love being so brutally honest, let us turn the tables and really be real here and in kind, introduce pot to kettle.

    The only thing you Tebow haters really ever achieved in life was aiming at the “Amount to nothing in life” Bulls-eye, and with pinpoint precision accuracy, even greater than Tebow’s throwing motion and delivery, managed to hit it dead on center. Now, marinade on that dose of reality. Truth hurts….. now, doesn’t it?

  51. The “baggage” is what the press has laid on Tebow. The fact that he probably, honestly, shouldn’t have been a 1st round pick. Denver took him anyway and then the fact that despite all the criticism, he took the Broncos to the playoffs and won a game. Yes, he’s a devout Christian and not ashamed of it. Also, the fact that he finds a way to win where others say you can’t.

    I’m not hammering Tim by any stretch. I think he should have a chance and have his day to succeed or fail. Either way, he’ll be a winner.

  52. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer, or so they say, so maybe he needs to try crying on Tim Tebow’s career.

  53. If Chuck Norris and Tim Tebow were sent in to fight a gang of villians, who would win?

    Now second question, how about if the gang was called the Ditka’s?

  54. The fact remains that as a starter Tebow has won more playoff games in Denver than Peyton Manning.

  55. Ender 12777, had it right. All you Tebow haters just love to complain.Just ignore the article and move on. Why do have to hate someone. You must lead miserable lives…and you hate Tebow for his Christian values. You remind me of a bunch of liberals and their thought pattern. hey don’t want guns so no one should have guns. Iff you don’t want a gun don’t buy one. If you don’t like Tebow articles, click away. You are miserable so make everyone else miserable.

  56. Mr. Smith you ask how one accounts for Tim’s failure to perform in his last game as a starter if he rises to the occasion and the answer isn’t that hard to find. He failed to win against the eventual AFC Super Bowl contender, but it was also reported after the game that he had broken his ribs in the first series. He did not come out of the game. NE total focus was on stopping Tim, not any of the their other weapons, they knew if they contained him they could do that. There are a range of other things that could be said, but it takes a lot to play through the pain of being unable to breath. I have had broken ribs on a couple of occassions, if you haven’t that is good, but means you lack a point of reference that should not be overlooked when assessing the outcome. The courage and leadership he displayed despite the pain was amazing.
    My question is if all the credit for getting to the playoffs lies with the poorly ranked defense, where were they? Looked like a track meet to me. NE scored 5 touch downs in the first half. Tim had no picks, no turnovers. Except for Thomas the receivers had more drops than catches, and total yards rushing was only slightly more than the 136 yards passing. Perhaps what is important, is that Denver made had a playoff win for the first time since Elway suited up. Given their loss in their first playoff game last year, that is still the record.

  57. So, far, this is true. We’ll have to see what this coming season brings and it could say much more about Tebow and his will to win.

  58. Chuck Norris like all the Tebowmaniacs can not help him because he does not own an NFL team. I wish he owned the Rams so he can be with them. He would have to play much better than he played with the Broncos because the NFC West is much better than the AFC West. The reason Jacksonville don’t want him is because he lied about Denver not giving him a choice to go to Jacksonville not that Denver had to give him a choice.

  59. The Tebowmanics are and the overzealous media are the main reason why teams don’t want to sign Tebow. Prime example is the Arizona Cardinals are desperate for a quarterback because they started 3 or 4 qbs last year and all of them sucked. Under normal circumstances the Cardinals would have signed Tebow for the veteran’s minimal and they wouldn’t have to trade a draft pick. It would have been a low risk for them. They have been looking for a qb since Kurt Warner retired in 2009 and he was openly Christian too. The reason Arizona didn’t sign Tim Tebow is because they don’t want to deal with the media circus. Otherwise he would have been a perfect fit for them. See how the Tebowmaniacs and overzealous media hurt him.

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