If Louis Delmas is Marlin Perkins, Ernie Sims is Jim

Ernie Sims denied ever giving Louis Delmas an egg which hatched and grew into a six-foot alligator which had to be removed this week.

It was, Sims insists, already out of its shell.

The Cowboys linebacker told Tim McMahon of ESPNDallas.com that the future pair of boots named Mojo was already about six inches long when he was given to Delmas.

That’s an important distinction, obviously.

Sims maintained quite a menagerie when he was a Lion, as he had an 1,800-gallon tank with black-tip sharks and exotic fish, two other alligators (three clearly would have been too many), assorted lizards including an iguana named Godzilla, a 14-foot Burmese python and other snakes, along with the usual assortment of birds and frogs.

Sims said the food bill for his personal ark ran “about a grand per week.”

Among other questions (such as who are these guys renting from, Jack Hanna?), Sims cleared up the fact he had given all of those animals back to a local pet store at the end of his four-year stay in Detroit.

He also said he has a more traditional farm in Georgia, including dogs, goats, cows and a donkey his 2-year-old son rides sometimes.

“My little man,” Sims said, hopefully of the donkey. “That joker is exotic.”

See, it’s true. Football players are the same as you and me.

6 responses to “If Louis Delmas is Marlin Perkins, Ernie Sims is Jim

  1. Mutual of Omaha demeaned animals, I can’t believe you’d post one of their insensitive plugs on your website. I’m offended on behalf of wildlife everywhere. Please be more thoughtful going forward Dan.

  2. Posted by Darin Gantt on October 25, 2013, 3:55 PM EDT

    Sims maintained quite a menagerie when he was a Lion, as he had an 1,800-gallon “talk “with black-tip sharks.

    He’s got an 1800 gallon talk? I only have a 300 gallon talk myself. I keep it filled with verbs and nouns. Mine, however are correct.

  3. Did Darin Gantt just call Louis Delmas’s alligator a “future pair of boots?” Wow.

    I consider myself a person with a good sense of humor, and I can tolerate a lot… and I’m not a PETA member or anything like that.

    But that’s a completely distasteful and offensive thing to say about a live animal, especially someone’s pet.

  4. “While I remian here holding the rare, harmless kinkajou, Jim is down on the river bank wrestling a 10 foot crocodile. He’s going to need insurance! And speaking of insurance, Mutual of Omaha…”

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