If Kellen Winslow offers to bring you Boston Market, say no

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Apparently, Kellen Winslow was in the midst of being flagged for illegal use of the hands, or hand, when he was arrested for synthetic marijuana possession last fall.

According to the arrest report obtained by Dom Cosentino of NJ.com, police were called to the scene in a Target parking lot because a witness told them the Jets tight end was engaged in sexual congress with himself in his vehicle.

In other words, allegedly, he took it out.

The incident report from the East Hanover Police Department said that on Nov. 19, at 5:30 p.m., they responded to a call from a woman who parked next to Winslow’s SUV.

The words of the report might tell this one best:

“As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.”

When the cops showed up, he was wearing black sweatpants, and told them he was just lost and “looking for Boston Market.”

Of course, the synthetic marijuana they found in his car was of more interest to them than two containers of Vaseline.

He wasn’t charged with anything for the incident, though he may never get asked to be a part of the hands team again.