Saturday morning one-liners

Bills LT Cordy Glenn was responsible for only 1.5 sacks in 2013.

Dennis Hickey reportedly “hit one out of the park” during his interview for Dolphins G.M.  (Possible translation:  He said he’ll take the job if it’s offered.)

Boston Market has found a way to, um, take care of itself in the wake of the latest news involving Jets TE Kellen Winslow.

Patriots quarterback Ryan Mallett was the designated Omaha’er this week.

QB Brandon Weeden, a first-round pick in 2012, says he’s still under contract for two years, and “[m]y mindset is I’m going back to Cleveland.”  (No, I don’t think so.)

TV ratings for playoffs games are strong in Pittsburgh, even when the Steelers aren’t in the playoffs.

The camel that picked the Ravens to win Super Bowl XLVII won’t get a chance to extend its streak to two; the camel has gone to the great desert in the sky.

The Bengals could find out in 2014 that they miss defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer a lot.

Titans G Chance Warmack’s plan for improving in his second season could also be an excerpt from the Book of Kellen Winslow Quotes:  “I need to work on my hands as much as anything.  I feel like if I can get my hands right to where they are inside all the time, then I’ll be good.”

Colts P Pat McAfee is inching once again toward free agency; he played in 2013 under the franchise tag.

Former Jaguars LB Jeff Kopp has become the head coach of a high school football team in Florida.

TMZ says that the timing of its recent report about Texans RB Arian Foster and the launch of its show on a Houston affiliate was coincidental.

The Broncos want fans to wear orange and arrive early for Sunday’s AFC title game.

A pair of twin brothers who arranged phony out-of-town trips to Chargers games are heading to real jail.

Chiefs CB Sanders Commings could be replacing Kendrick Lewis at free safety in 2014.

The Raiders finalized on Friday a deal with special-teams coach Bobby April.

Eagles LB Connor Barwin realizes the team’s defense may evolve from 2013 to 2014.

Cowboys DE George Selvie recently underwent shoulder surgery, but he’s expected to be ready for the offseason program.

Former NFL player and Redskins assistant coach Keenan McCardell will coach receivers at the University of Maryland.

Could some of Green Bay’s looming offensive free agents join former quarterbacks coach Ben McAdoo with the Giants?

Packers WR Jordy Nelson triggered a $500,000 escalator for 2014, short of the maximum of $750,000.

Bears WR Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffrey are taking offensive quality control coach Carson Welch to Hawaii for the week.

Former Michigan coach Lloyd Carr is very happy that former Michigan assistant Terryl Austin will become the Lions’ defensive coordinator.

The roof, the roof, the roof is being deflated at the place where the Vikings used to play.

Former Jets and Browns coach Eric Mangini thinks Bryan Cox will do a great job as the Falcons’ defensive line coach.

The Saints are facing a critical offseason.

With the addition of former Colorado coach Jon Embree as tight ends coach, the Buccaneers now have three former college or pro head coaches on Lovie Smith’s staff.

Panthers owner Jerry Richardson took out a full-page ad in the Charlotte Observer to post a handwritten thank you note to fans.

A tattoo parlor in the Bay Area is selling 49ers tattoos for $49 dollars.  (Jared Allen wants to know if a similar deal applies for $20 more.)

Cardinals G.M. Steve Keim praised coach Bruce Arians on the one-year anniversary of his hire:  “I haven’t been around many coaches during my time in this business that have the ability to drive players to almost a breaking point and yet at the end of the day these guys love him and want to play for him.”

The Rams think RB Daryl Richardson, the team’s pleasant surprise at tailback in 2012, can rebound to compete next year with RB Zac Stacy, the team’s pleasant surprise at tailback in 2013.

Seattle native Macklemore will join Ryan Lewis to perform at halftime of Sunday’s NFC title game, hosted by the Seahawks.  (By then, the FieldTurf may smell like R. Kelly’s sheets.)