Martin admitted thinking suicide because of abuse

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As we sift through the Wells Report on the Jonathan Martin-Richie Incognito investigation, it becomes clear that Martin felt helpless, or at least expressed that to those near him.

After enduring what he described as verbal and emotional and physical abuse from Incognito on a May 4, 2013 yacht trip with several members of the offensive line, he “seriously contemplated suicide” the following day.

The next day, his growing disillusionment was represented with a list of pros and cons of playing football which he texted to a friend.

The pros included the following items:

— Football games are fun

— I can make a lot of money playing football and be set for life

— have a legacy that will live after I die

— not many people get to live their childhood dream

— I am the left tackle for the Miami dolphins

— if I quit, I’ll be known as a quitter for the rest of my life

— my legacy at Stanford will be tarnished

— I will never be able to look any coach from my past in the eye

That was followed by:

— I hate going in everyday.

— I am unable to socialize with my teammates in their crude manner

— I already have a lot of money. I could travel the world, get my degree. Then get a real job

— I could lose 70 lbs and feel good about my body

— I won’t die from CTE

— Maybe I’ll start to LIKE myself

— I don’t need to live lavishly. I could live very frugally

— why do I care about these people? All I need is my family.

It’s clear that whether Incognito disputes the facts in the report or not, that Martin was deeply conflicted about his lot in life, and his workplace relationships didn’t seem to be helping.

49 responses to “Martin admitted thinking suicide because of abuse

  1. “— I am unable to socialize with my teammates in their crude manner”

    In other words he didn’t fit in. He was in no way singled-out and and harassed.

  2. To some people, Incognito may have been joking. But not everyone takes it that way. And honestly, I’m sure Incognito didn’t even realize what he was doing was hurting Martin like this. Probably because Martin was acting like they were friends. Bottom line is there’s a line between joking and harassment. The line was clearly crossed, even if Incognito didn’t know he crossed it.

  3. Does Incognito get that tweeting that Martin thought about suicide, as the report confirms, really doesn’t help his case for disproving his a bully?

    Isn’t that exactly the type of thing a bully would taunt you with?

    Please proceed, Ritchie.

  4. Wow, he’s starting to look unable to be a part of any locker room. Too many of those problems are about football in general and will go with him wherever he goes.

  5. 2 things become clear here.
    1. Jonathan Martin had serious emotional issues BEFORE he became a member of the Miami Dolphins.
    2. Richie Incognito played a part in worsening those emotional issues.

  6. I call BS on this. Who ends their life because of problems at work? If work is THE issue to drive you to suicide, I can give him an easy solution. Quit.

    I’m bothered by the extent that the media is going to make this a black and white, villain/victim situation.

    Jonathan Martin is no hero and I’m still not convinced that he is a complete victim here.

    If he was contemplating suicide, then it is clear that he was having issues coping with life in general, not just coping with the Dolphins locker room.

  7. Other users have mentioned it, but why does Mike Pouncey get a pass from all of this? How many times does his name appear in situations involving very questionable behavior?

  8. It’s clear that whether Incognito disputes the facts in the report or not, that Martin was deeply conflicted about his lot in life, and his workplace relationships didn’t seem to be helping.


    I don’t think they are disputing the facts as much as the conclusions. The conclusions don’t seem to take into account Martin’s actions (ie.. that he was no angel in the texting of abuse himself) and that instead of going to the team for help he went to his lawyer mother.

    Martin is basically given a pass for his actions (and inactions) while Incognito get’s his feet held to the fire for everything including things he had know way of knowing. Incognito had no idea what Martin was telling his lawyer mother or his agent. There seems to be the assumption that because his mother knew that Incognito knew as well.

  9. His pro/con list actually paints the picture of a man that has his head on very well. Lesson learned: popular opinion blamed Incognito, then we thought Martin was just being immature, and now many of us feel like we should take Martin’s side again.

    Time to let the dust settle before passing anymore judgment.

  10. These are “pros”?

    — if I quit, I’ll be known as a quitter for the rest of my life

    — my legacy at Stanford will be tarnished

    — I will never be able to look any coach from my past in the eye

  11. Why are some of you people actually trying to defend the way these guys treated one another? Being in a high school lockerroom and hearing this type talk among immature teenagers is one thing, but still being that way years down the line in a professional place of business is another.

    Any of you defending Incognito I challenge you this. Spend the next week of your job talking and acting towards others the way you are defending as okay behavior.

    Do it. You’re not soft are you?

  12. I read the report and I have no sympathy for Johnathon Martin. He caused all this to happen. He should have said STOP! He made the wrong choice by leaving, Unfortunately he has issues so he shouldnt be playing football nor be in a football lockerroom.

  13. Martin was clearly tormented…I bet it started way before he turned professional.

    It appears that Incognito exacerbated the problems Martin was having, but was he, in any way, aware he was worsening a problem that was there, did he know that Martin was being chased by demons…I doubt Wells can make that kind of judgment, doubt that anyone can.

    The culture of that locker room is going to become front page headlines this off-season.

  14. Read Martin’s comments. Imagine being at a spot in your life where you have to go somewhere every day (like school or your job), where you HATE going in every day, to the point you are depressed and contemplating ending your life.

    Then look at his reasoning that he felt he already had enough money, he didn’t NEED the job anymore, and he might actually be able to live a happy life if he went back to school and got a regular job. In other words, he didn’t need football and didn’t want to play it any more if it meant he would feel miserable every day.

    Sounds like sound reasoning to me. Most people would quit their job if they hated it enough and if they felt as miserable as Martin apparently did, provided they had other job opportunities available to make a living. He’s in the same boat, and he has other options.

  15. What’s the difference between bullying and being picked on as I’m sure we all were or are to this day by our friends and associates? I think Martin didn’t see the ‘love’ that Incognito was showing him. I’m only 29, Martin is what 24, has society changed that much in 5 years? I guess that’s what affluence gets you, if your not killing 4 people in a car, you’re unable to see the difference between bullying and a different method or friendship. The stuff against the Asian trainer is the only thing I really have a problem with. If Incognito wanted to punch him in the face for real, he would have wounds to show for it.

  16. Incogntio is a meathead/bully/idiot. He said some really nasty, hurtful comments but in his mind it was all just a joke. Martin should have told coaches or players before it all came to this. Instead, he tried to fit in by responding in “Incognito” language.

  17. people saying Jonathan Martin is unstable….
    Are Richie Incongito/Pouncey stable? I dont think so…Who in their right mind bullies someone they know they are hurting. Coem on stop eing so ignorant saying its the NFL locker room…There are plenty of classy peple in THAT locker room that wont bully and wont put their OWN teammate down. Those guys are absolute scum pieces of trash.

  18. Say this for Incognito. Probably, if he really knew how deeply he was affecting Martin, he would have backed off. That being said, the problem with Incognito is that HE REALLY THOUGHT HIS BEHAVIOR WAS OK.

    That’s an unacceptable excuse.

    Jon Martin has and has had some kind of problem. Maybe it’s as simple as a self-confidence problem, maybe it’s as serious as chronic depression, but that doesn’t matter.

    Whether you’re white collar or blue collar, a rocket scientist or ditch digger, nobody, NOBODY should have to endure that kind of treatment in the workplace.

    I’ve been in his place and can COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND him trying desperately to ‘fit in’ by playing along, and that kind of behavior only fueled Incognito’s innocence in his own mind.

    For whatever reason, the resources weren’t there when Jon Martin needed them, and when someone starts talking suicide, that’s a clear indication that, in their mind, THEY HAVE NO GOOD OPTIONS.

    Final Word: Jon Martin needs to do some soul-searching to find out what’s going on beneath the surface that continually leads him into these bad situations.

    Incognito needs (at the least) to have it impressed upon him VERY STRONGLY that this is not an OK way to act, EVER, not even in an NFL locker room.

  19. What ever happened to “Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.” Lets all get off the bullying bandwagon. These are grown adults, I had people picking me up and giving me swirlys in high school, i dealt with it, learned from it, and became a man.

  20. The NFL is no place for an intelligent person. Martin will likely find a team that values him but I doubt he will have a long career. He is too smart and too introspective. He may be best served getting his law degree like his mother and working for the NFLPA or something

  21. I appreciate that Martin probably wouldn’t have fit in with those guys regardless, just based on personalities, but honestly, Incognito and the other guys implicated in this report pretty obviously crossed some lines.

  22. A 20 year old sensative kid Martin clearly wasn’t ready for the psychopathic nature of the Dolphin locker room. Richie Incognito is mean spirited low life who was given a leadership role by the coaches. Martin tried to fit in and be accepted but couldn’t. Hence the locker led by its fearless leader turned on him.

  23. This is going to sound cruel but the more I read this the more this isn’t about bullying and is about the fact that he cannot handle the environment of being around other men in a ‘bro’ type atmosphere. “Professional” athlete argument is irrelevant here, when you have a bunch of men in an area doing men things, they always act like this. Jon seems more suited for the corporate world as the issues he doesn’t like happen in EVERY NFL Locker room, in fact they happen in every locker room. Dudes cursing, picking on each other, more swearing, more roasting, and so on and so on. Remember the Prince Akamura hazing?

    The issue with Jon is that he did what you’re not supposed to do and he took it to the media. This is typical behavior and most people know that however not keeping it in the locker room/with the team is now going to let outside influences in, aka political correctness. I’m sure that sooner or later the Anti-Bullying Parade is going to hit locker rooms soon with some type of PSA video. Which in turn is going to ruin the relaxed atmosphere that is a locker room.

    Also this is completely overblown. Like the ‘Fine Book’ it was hilarious and honestly I’ve seen a lot worse. Don’t know about the trainer thing but the more this goes on Richie will still have a bigger chance of getting on a team than Jonathan as he not only broke the code (and you see the circus that has been created because of it) but team mates are going to either provoke him because of that now OR not know what to say around him in lieu of having media attention on them.

  24. You’re in the NFL making allots of money and you are worried about people calling you name ? SMH..Martin is such a baby and needs mental help as much as Incognito needs.

  25. Martin is a new age Gen Y sissy. My teammates called me names and I wanted to kill myself? Sounds like a 14 year old girl. Man-up son it aint that tough.

  26. Martin is proving he is weak and is unable to be around other men. Face it men are mean to each other. Better toughen your skin up to be around men. This is why the army was always men.

    Martin is a product d the everyone gets a trophy system of life. Everyone is entitled to a chance. They don’t understand when your born you have the same chance of you wanna work at it.

  27. Most of the people whining about the lockerroom activities aren’t men who’ve been in a highly masculine all-male environment. Its how guys act. If he seemed to catch more of it its because they read him as soft.

    Sorry this aint your office it aint corporate quit comparing.

  28. Maybe all the drugs, drinking and womanizer poor old jonny was doing with his buddies incognito and pounce made the kid even more unstable.

    The whole story is a joke, NFL stands for Not for long for most everyone who steps in the locker room, some guys can’t take the coaches, the pressure, the speed, the groupies, the parties, playbook, whatever but it’s a rare breed of man who thrives in the NFL. Jonathan Martin IS not one of them. Go travel the world get a law degree work for your parents where you can be pampered and treated like the baby that you are and your parents will allow you to lead the life you want and deserve.

    For the rest of the whiners on this site stop pretending like the entire world is like your office. Comparing a NFL lineman and that culture to your dweeby day job is like comparing yourself to an undercover CIA agent. there is no comparison.

  29. That pros and cons list is a little out of order. Why is “being known as a quitter” and “tarnishing my legacy at Stanford” in the pros column? Then he had “maybe I’ll start to LIKE myself” and “I won’t die from CTE” in the cons column. If that’s exactly how he wrote it, and not a reporters mistake, then he is definitely confused.

  30. I’m sure the liberals are going to hold up Jon Martin as the more civilized man that should be emulated and Incognito as the barbaric brute that should be ostracized.

    But ask yourself if you were in a war or in a back alley or even on a football field who’d you rather have covering your back?

    People in this country have forgotten what war and ugliness really exists. We talk about the great loss of 5000 soldiers in the Iraq/Afghanistan theaters but completely fail to comprehend the idea that ONE MILLION casualties occurred the first day Germany invaded Russia in 1941. Or some of the inhumane atrocities Japan and China have committed to each other over centuries that cost in excess of 25 million lives.

    Are we prepared mentally as a country if we have to deal with something like this again? And who do you think would deal with it better? Jon Martin or Richie Incognito?

  31. So, some of you would have us believe that Martin is “mentally weak” or needs to “man up”. This is interesting to me because in my opinion, being “mentally weak” is equated with what Incognito did. It’s much easier to go with the group or succumb to the “locker room” atmosphere. To pick on someone that you perceive as being weaker to make yourself looks stronger than it is to come to your own conclusion that the behavior isn’t acceptable. Perhaps Martin should have stood up for himself but maybe he didn’t out of fear of the repercussions. That doesn’t make him weak to me. What Incognito did is weak. Accepting that this behavior is ok because it is the NFL norm in locker rooms (is it? Can anyone see some of the most respected NFL players doing this?) isn’t a sign of strength at all. It is a sign that you can’t stand up for what is right. None of this is is right in a “professional” or “non-professional” atmosphere. And no, I haven’t been in a football locker room but I played sports in high school and I remember even then thinking that the behavior was immature. So, if it was immature in high school, what does it make it when they are adults? Pathological?

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