Saturday one-liners

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Former Jets DL Joe Klecko says current Jets LB Quinton Coples “looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane.”

Colorado Geroge Gillett reportedly won’t be making a run at buying the Bills.

Dolphins G.M. Dennis Hickey has been too busy to see Draft Day.  (The rest of America had the time, but not the interest.)

Former Patriots QB Drew Bledsoe has been lobbying for a loosening of the Massachusetts regulations of wine sales both at vineyards and online.

Ravens DT Terrence Cody will graduate from Alabama this weekend.

The Steelers may keep their nose tackles on the field more this year in nickel and dime packages.

Bengals assistant head coach Paul Alexander will conduct the Hamilton Fairfield Symphony Orchestra on Saturday night.

Browns offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan says Johnny Football “can play football.”

Jaguars owner Shad Khan has said, “A homeless man in Detroit has more mojo than a millionaire in Jacksonville.”  (That will no longer be true if Jacksonville’s newest millionaire is Johnny Manziel.)

The Titans think (or hope . . . or pray) that more options at running back will mean more production after the departure of Chris Johnson.

Even with limited picks, Colts G.M. Ryan Grigson applies a “win now/reload on the fly” mentality to the search for players.

Texans DE J.J. Watt spent the offseason working out twice a day, five days per week.

Variable pricing for the Chiefs means it will be a lot more expensive to see New England and Denver visit Arrowhead.

Broncos RB C.J. Anderson visited a fan who has been fighting MS for 17 years.

Chargers G.M. Tom Telesco says projecting a player’s longevity based on past injuries is “probably a bigger part of the process than people really think.”

Paul Gutierrez of is counting down the worst Raiders draft picks since the merger.  (No. 3?  LB Rolando McClain.)

Former NFL defensive back Joey Browner continues to speak out against the Redskins name.

Giants QB Eli Manning says he’s off crutches, out of the boot, and already doing some running after ankle surgery.

Eagles CB Cary Williams, who was part of something special in Baltimore, senses something special in Philly.

Second-year S J.J. Wilcox could move into the starting lineup for the Cowboys in 2014.

Veteran Lions scout Silas McKinnie will retire after the draft; after 20 years as a college basketball coach, he worked in the NFL for 17.

Former Bears coach Mike Ditka simplifies the draft in a way that peels back many layers of unnecessary complexity:  “Look, when we drafted Jim Covert, we needed an offensive tackle.  We went out and got the best one on the board.  When we drafted [Jim] McMahon, we needed a quarterback.  Period.  It’s not too complicated.”

Tickets — and the right to actually use the tickets — are selling fast at the Vikings’ new stadium.

The Packers are offering a free youth football coaching school on June 8.

Saints assistant trainer Kevin Magnum has helped secure items to be auctioned by Pearl River Community College to raise funds for championship rings.

The Falcons hope to get a lot tougher in 2014, on both sides of the ball.

The Buccaneers will announce the newest member of their Ring of Honor on Tuesday.  (It will be a shock if it’s anyone other than incoming Hall of Famer Derrick Brooks.)

Upgrades at the Panthers’ stadium remain on track for a July 1 completion date.

Cardinals DT Darnell Dockett added himself to a photo of QB A.J. McCarron and Katherine Webb.

Rams players put more than 400 youths through drills on Friday.

King County Sheriff Urgquhart was happy to hear that his office will get $50,000 for deputies devoted to the Seahawks’ championship parade.

A high-school game between Manteca and Wilcox could christen the 49ers’ new stadium.  (We’d prefer a rematch between Bakersfield and Taft.)

6 responses to “Saturday one-liners

  1. For those that are interested the JJ Watt mock negotiation has Part 2 up with the conclusion coming soon. I’m predicting the 2 sides won’t be able to reach an agreement in this silly and unbelievable pretend conversation. It’s time to request a trade.

  2. That line by Klecko is great!

    Bledsoe’s efforts to ease up on winery restrictions is great – but I have to think it will be killed.

    Liquor distributors get a TON of money acting as little more than a middleman hiking up the price for the consumer.

    Any suggestion of teens ordering a case of vineyard quality wine is just a red herring to keep the $$ coming to distributors.

  3. What Ditka doesn’t tell you when he says they drafted Covert because he was the best tackle on the board is , they could have drafted Jim Covert’s teammate at the University of Pittsburgh — Dan Marino.
    While Ditka did win a Super Bowl with Covert , he would have almost certainly won a couple more of them with Marino quarterbacking that ferocious defensive team the Bears had.

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