Federal court in Florida accepts hoax lawsuit against Manziel


Yes, Johnny Manziel technically has been sued for sexual harassment in a Florida federal court.

No, it’s not a real lawsuit.  It’s a hoax.  An obvious hoax.  A hoax so obvious that the clerk of the court should have refused to dignify it with a date stamp or with an assignment of the case to both a judge and a magistrate.

Courts typically accept whatever comes in, and then they sort it all out later.  But it may be time for courts to revisit that approach, given that anyone can put together anything and send it in and have it become officially filed — which gives it a weird sense of credibility and legitimacy, even when it’s clearly a hoax.

The lawsuit, which was filed on May 16, 2014, was sent to us last night by a reader.  The named plaintiff is Samantha Schacher.  Whoever drafted the hoax lawsuit has tried to create the impression that it’s the same Samantha Schacher who serves as an HLN contributor and co-host of the network’s Dr. Drew show.  (There’s a reference in the lawsuit to Manziel suggesting a “threesome with Dr. Drew.”)

Before sharing any specifics from the hoax lawsuit, I need to point out once again that it’s clearly a hoax.

“Defendant Manziel has been sexually harassing me since Valentine’s Day, 2013, calling me non-stop on my Samsung Phone and sending me naked selfies of himself showing me his penis,” the lawsuit alleges.  (The folks at Samsung may or may not appreciate the gratuitous plug.)

The lawsuit — again, it’s a hoax — also claims that Manziel sent a naked picture of himself with his penis in a hotdog bun, that he sent a photo with a “ruler next to his erect penis that measured 4-1/2 inches,” that he “keeps asking me to strip for him at his boy, Lebron James’ crip [sic] in Miami,” that Manziel “told me he does steroids and lifts weights,” and that “if another man ever talks to me, he would beat them up and get away with it because he’s famous.”

The lawsuit — again, hoax — says that Manziel confessed that he cheated on his college exams, that he’ll “get a penis enlargement and be my Long John Silvers [sic],” that he smoked marijuana before games in the locker room, that he received “lavish gifts” from Texas A&M, that he’d buy the plaintiff “sex toys with secret money Kevin Sumlin provides him,” and that he “refers to his penis as his Vienna Sausage.”

The lawsuit — again, hoax — says that “Judereon” Clowney sent Manziel a picture of Clowney’s nine-inch penis, and that Manziel showed the picture to the plaintiff and “asked me if I could handle that monster.”

“I had to see a Psychologist because I have nightmares of Manziel’s penis,” the lawsuit — hoax — states.  “Manziel sent me a homemade video of himself at Walt Disney World on ‘It’s a Small Word’ ride in the Magic Kingdom, and while the song is on, he puts the camera down unbuttons his pants, pulls his penis out and jingles [sic] his penis to the music.  ESPN owns Disney and ESPN promotes Manziel, knowing he did this in ‘It’s a Small World.'”

Again, the lawsuit is a hoax.  It never should have been stamped for filing, and it should be thrown out of court today.