The three (or four) day weekend that was

Most of you have been away from the workplace for the last three days.  Many were either gone or at work but not working since Friday.

Now that you’ve returned, you need/want/deserve periodic breaks.  What better way to take a break from work than to fill the void created over the weekend when you weren’t keeping track of the latest NFL news?

Here’s a quick rundown of everything you may have missed.

Batman and Robin.  The Lone Ranger and Tonto.  Salt ‘N’ Pepa.  JFF and Gronk.

Johnny Football was sued for sexual harassment.  Unless he really wasn’t.

Two decades after the NFL gave up on L.A., L.A. may be giving up on the NFL.

Tom Brady is saying all the right things about the Patriots taking a quarterback in round two, even if he doesn’t believe them.

It’s time to make owners subject to the substance-abuse policy.

It may be time to impose a suspension for a first-offense DUI.

For Broncos director of player personnel Matt Russell got seven months for a first-offense DUI.

You don’t take your own food to the movies — and you don’t take your own booze to the strip club.

Ray Rice’s press conference didn’t go wellHypothetically.

Jerry Rice’s son didn’t want to wear his dad’s number 80 at 49ers rookie minicamp.

The pre-Memorial Day bad-news dump resulted in good news for Colts owner Jim Irsay.

Someone bought Mark Sanchez’s “Butt Fumble” jersey for $820.  (Brandon Moore’s pants are available for considerably less.)

Members of the ’85 Bears are suing over painkillers, and their old-school coach has an old-school opinion about that.

Tuesday is OTA day for most NFL teams.

Every NFL player has a chip on his shoulder; Seahawks DE Jackson Jeffcoat has a boulder.

Omaha” is about to become nearly as ubiquitous as Springield.

There’s still no medical clearance for TE Jermichael Finley.

Andy Reid loves him some Dee Ford.

Dee Ford loves him some Derrick Thomas.  (Despite the whole Auburn-Alabama thing.)

The Chiefs also have high hopes for second-year TE Travis Kelce.

There were no limitations on Chiefs QB Aaron Murray (ACL) at rookie minicamp.

Rob Moore remembered teammate Pat Tillman.

There’s a new president in Washington, D.C.

And he wants Harry Reid to shut up.

Mike Vick says he can help the Jets get to the Super Bowl.  (He has a ticket broker?)

Cowboys DE Anthony Spencer could end up starting the season on the PUP list.

Duck season.  Wabbit seasonNFL season.

The man known in NFL circles as the Big Show wants to drop the curtain on the Redskins name.

Now, the only time Steelers DT Daniel McCullers sees four spins is at a roulette table.

Jets coach Rex Ryan sees even fewer.

Cardinals S Deone Bucannon may be trying too hard to do everything perfectly.

Markus Wheaton could be the next Steelers third-round receiver to become a key contributor.

Bengals offensive coordinator Hue Jackson thinks QB Andy Dalton is “spectacular.”  (Free one-year PFT subscription to whoever posts at this alternative definition of “spectacular”:  “Guy who is just good enough to lose in the first round of the playoffs every year.”)

Hue Jackson also wants WR Marvin Jones to try to be more spectacular than WR A.J. Green.

Bill Belichick explains why he wants to be able to challenge anything.

When are the 49ers going to draft a guy who is healthy?

In his first season or his second.

QB Christian Ponder still has a chance to start for the Vikings.  (So do I.)

49ers coach Jim Harbaugh didn’t want to say very much about Aldon Smith.

The Bucs and DT Gerald McCoy are talking about a new contract.

On offense, the Dolphins hope to be more like the Eagles.  (And less like, you know, the Dolphins.)

Lions RB Mikel Leshoure is excited about having a chance to play.  (Is he getting traded?)