1. Seattle Seahawks (No. 1 last week; 1-0): They need to get space ready for another banner.
2. Denver Broncos (No. 2; 1-0): To learn how to put a team away, maybe they should watch the film of Super Bowl XLVIII.
3. Green Bay Packers (No. 4; 0-1): They lost to the Seahawks by 20. Every other team ranked below them on this list would have lost in Seattle by more than 30.
4. New England Patriots (No. 3; 0-1): The last time the Pats looked that bad in Week One, they won the Super Bowl.
5. San Francisco 49ers (No. 6; 1-0): Nothing builds confidence for an offense like facing one of the worst defenses the league has seen in recent years.
6. Cincinnati Bengals (No. 9; 1-0): Maybe they’ll get a chance to lose another wild-card game, after all.
7. New Orleans Saints (No. 5; 0-1): When did Steve Spagnuolo gain 150 pounds and grow out his hair?
8. Indianapolis Colts (No. 8; 0-1): Andrew Luck thrives on overcoming adversity; with Robert Mathis gone for the year, Luck will have more adversity than he could ever want.
9. Carolina Panthers (No. 10; 1-0): If Derek Anderson doesn’t play another game this year, has he already won the comeback player of the year award?
10. Atlanta Falcons (No. 16; 1-0): Sunday’s win hardly means that the Falcons are destined for the playoffs, but a loss at some to the Saints in Week One could have meant the Falcons were destined to miss them again.
11. Philadelphia Eagles (No. 11; 1-0): The final score was predictable. The path for getting there surely wasn’t.
12. Arizona Cardinals (No. 13; 1-0): The first game of Larry Fitzgerald’s last season in Arizona could have him secretly counting the days until his last one.
13. Pittsburgh Steelers (No. 15; 1-0): Great first half. Almost not great enough.
14. Baltimore Ravens (No. 7; 0-1): “Wait, we have to play this Thursday night?”
15. Detroit Lions (No. 19; 1-0): Nothing builds confidence for a defense like facing one of the worst offenses the league has seen in recent years.
16. New York Jets (No. 18; 1-0): Most people watching this one hoped the feed would have been switched to Heidi.
17. San Diego Chargers (No. 14; 0-1): If Carson Palmer had played that well against the Chargers a few years ago, he’d still be with the Raiders.
18. Minnesota Vikings (No. 23; 1-0): Beats the Rams, move up five spots. Beat the Pats, move up 10.
19. Chicago Bears (No. 12; 0-1): The Bills don’t have to worry about moving to Canada. With more performances like Sunday’s against Buffalo, Bears coach Marc Trestman may need to.
20. Miami Dolphins (No. 28; 1-0): The last time the Dolphins beat the Patriots, they chased the victory by losing to the Bills. Next up after the latest win over the Patriots? The Bills.
21. Tennessee Titans (No. 31; 1-0): The no-name offense and the no-name defense notch a big-time win.
22. Kansas City Chiefs (No. 17; 0-1): Alex Smith’s 45.2 passer rating shows how smart it was for him to take the $45 million guaranteed.
23. New York Giants (No. 20; 0-1): The sooner Tom Coughlin is on the hot seat, the sooner the Giants can rally around him and win the Super Bowl.
24. Houston Texans (No. 27; 1-0): J.J. Watt is already earning his second contract. It’ll be a while until Jadeveon Clowney earns his first one.
25. Washington (No. 21; 0-1): Mike Shanahan got both a paycheck and vindication on Sunday.
26. Buffalo Bills (No. 30; 1-0): With a win at Chicago and the team sold to Terry Pegula, it’s been the best week in Buffalo since the last AFC title game win.
27. Dallas Cowboys (No. 22; 0-1): All that talk about drafting Manziel has really helped get the most out of Tony Romo.
28. St. Louis Rams (No. 24; 0-1): When Shaun Hill is your guy, the postseason is not your destination.
29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (No. 25; 0-1): Maybe the quarterback of the past/future should also be the quarterback of the present.
30. Jacksonville Jaguars (No. 26; 0-1): They forgot to show up for the second half.
31. Cleveland Browns (No. 29; 0-1): They forgot to show up for the first half.
32. Oakland Raiders (No. 32; 0-1): No matter how rough it gets for Derek Carr, his backup quarterback will never be the most popular man in town.