1. Green Bay Packers (last week No. 2; 9-3): If/when they face the Seahawks again, chances are the Packers will simply run their offense without worrying about who’s playing defense.
2. New England Patriots (No. 1; 9-3): A couple of years ago, Tom Brady opted for a periodic primal scream. After Sunday’s game was clinched for Green Bay, he went with three primal “F” bombs.
3. Seattle Seahawks (No. 10; 8-4): Good news, Seattle; bad news, rest of the NFL. The Seahawks are back.
4. Philadelphia Eagles (No. 5; 9-3): Mark Sanchez gets a perfect opportunity on Sunday to show Pete Carroll that the quarterback was indeed ready for the NFL.
5. Denver Broncos (No. 6; 9-3): When Peyton Manning is throwing for 179 yards not in a half but in an entire game, the Denver offense finally has real balance.
6. Arizona Cardinals (No. 3; 9-3): They still may be using their own lockers for the Super Bowl, but it’s looking less likely they’ll be using their own lockers during the playoffs.
7. Cincinnati Bengals (No. 7; 8-3-1): When the quarterback with the red hair isn’t getting it done, it’s time to rely on the coach with the red flag.
8. Dallas Cowboys (No. 4; 8-4): Death, taxes, and an 8-8 finish for the Cowboys.
9. Indianapolis Colts (No. 9; 8-4): A week after we didn’t get Luck-Griffin, we’ll likely get Luck-Manziel.
10. Detroit Lions (No. 12; 8-4): If they keep playing like this, they’ll get a chance to go back to lose in the Superdome again in January.
11. Pittsburgh Steelers (No. 8; 7-5): The Steel Curtain has become a Shower Curtain.
12. San Diego Chargers (No. 17; 8-4): The rest of the schedule has a lot more in common with the three-game losing streak than the three-game winning streak.
13. Baltimore Ravens (No. 11; 7-5): If they can’t beat Miami, Jacksonville, Houston, and Cleveland in December, the Ravens don’t deserve to have a crack at the likes of New England, Denver, Indianapolis, and Cincinnnati in January.
14. Kansas City Chiefs (No. 13; 7-5): To have any chance to get back to Arizona in February, they need to win there on Sunday.
15. Buffalo Bills (No. 18; 7-5): After two steps forward, the one step back comes in Denver this weekend.
16. Miami Dolphins (No. 16; 7-5): Things are setting up perfectly for another late-season collapse.
17. San Francisco 49ers (No. 14; 7-5): If Jim Harbaugh isn’t worried about his future, then he’s the only one.
18. Cleveland Browns (No. 15; 7-5): Brian Hoyer’s bet on himself apparently wasn’t placed with a money phone.
19. Houston Texans (No. 19; 6-6): A touchdown pass to J.J. Watt while up 38-14? Bill O’Brien learned plenty from Bill Belichick.
20. New Orleans Saints (No. 21; 5-7): Sean Payton shrugged off the “Sunday splash” reports by doing a cannonball into the confluence.
21. Chicago Bears (No. 20; 5-7): Good news, the team that Bears blew out in prime time last year is coming back. Bad news, Josh McCown played quarterback against the Cowboys the last time the Bears hosted Dallas.
22. Minnesota Vikings (No. 22; 5-7): When the offense is built around blocked punts returned for touchdowns, help is needed on that side of the ball.
23. St. Louis Rams (No. 23; 5-7): Well, it’s clear which former L.A. team L.A. should want back.
24. Atlanta Falcons (No. 24; 5-7): This would be a great week for payback against the team that derailed a Super Bowl run four years ago.
25. New York Giants (No. 25; 3-9): “We’re still the best team in New York?”
26. Carolina Panthers (No. 26; 3-8-1): The Panthers say Cam Newton is still their guy. Has anyone asked him if he wants to be?
27. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (No. 27; 2-10): “We’re still only three games out of first place!”
28. Jacksonville Jaguars (No. 32; 2-10): Leave it to the Jags to screw up a perfectly good shot at the No. 1 overall pick.
29. Tennessee Titans (No. 29; 2-10): Whether the Titans should have kept Ryan Fitzpatrick is a lot easier to figure out than 93 times 97.
30. Washington (No. 30; 3-9): When the quarterback plays well and the team still gets blown out, the problem isn’t the quarterback.
31. New York Jets (No. 28; 2-10): Maybe Geno Smith should be introduced as a member of the opponent’s defense.
32. Oakland Raiders (No. 31; 1-11): “We got our win for the year. Now we can coast.”