In their effort to poke holes in the Ted Wells Report, the Patriots are taking some pretty big liberties with logic and reason.
As incredible as the suggestion that Jim McNally called himself the “Deflator” because he was trying to lose weight, now they’re saying a reference to calling ESPN was in relation to his receipt of free shoes from John Jastremski.
“Mr. Jastremski had made it clear to Mr. McNally over time that his [Jastremski’s] boss would not be happy with him were he to give away sneakers to Mr. McNally,” the rebuttal reads. “That fact is quite explicit in a number of their texts. (p. 82 — after texting about possibly getting Mr. McNally sneakers and apparel, Mr. Jastremski writes: “unless Dave [his boss, Dave Schoenfeld] leaves the room tomorrow then it’ll wait till next week”).
“Getting sneakers or apparel for his friend Mr. McNally, in short, meant Mr. Jastremski would have to do so behind his boss’s back. They teased each other about whether Mr. Jastremski would get in trouble for giving him sneakers. The May 2014 McNally text reference to “not going to espn” follows his request for “new kicks,” and was Mr. McNally’s way of saying, in substance: “Hey, don’t worry about whether giving me those sneakers will get you in trouble — I’ll never tell.” . . .
“Certainly there is no way one could reasonably base conclusions that a scheme existed and was implemented to improperly deflate footballs based on these texts, particularly where ball tampering at the AFC Championship Game is belied by science, would have been illogical in concept and improbable in practice, and where it would, if anything, had disserved the quarterback.”
What may be illogical in concept is that there are people who feel this warm, yellow liquid running down their leg and are convinced that it’s just rain.