Rob Ryan’s house is sinking, and there’s a lot of weird stuff involved

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Easy jokes are the easiest to make, and low-hanging fruit remains fruit.

Yes, Rob Ryan’s house is sinking.

While there may be a metaphor in there for the Saints defense which he coordinates, this is in reference to his actual house, and he’s suing a pile of people for it.

According to Andy Grimm of the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Ryan has filed suit against the developer, builder and an engineering firm because his $2 million Uptown home is sinking.

“The builders fumbled the ball,” said Randy Smith, Ryan’s attorney who seems cast perfectly in this role. “And Rob Ryan, of all people, is not going to let it just sit on the ground.”

While this is all a terrible tragedy (no one’s house should ever sink) and there are terribly boring details involving pilings and joists and other construction words, let’s not lose sight of the salient point.

Rob Ryan’s house is sinking.

This story is just full of interesting, since Smith also represents the estranged family members who sued Saints owner Tom Benson, saying his new wife has plied him with candy and wine and ice cream to the point he’s incompetent to run the team.

“It is unbelievable that Rob Ryan would choose to work with the same attorney that is attempting to discredit the owner of the Saints,” developer Jim MacPhaille said in a statement. “In true fashion, attorney Randy Smith has filed a lawsuit full of exaggerations, fairy tales and outright misrepresentations in order to paint Rob Ryan as a victim.”

The one thing that can be safely gathered from this story is that the United States of America is a better place for having a nutty little town like New Orleans in it, and the NFL is better for having a character like Rob Ryan in it. So whether his beams are bowed or whatever, let’s hope that everyone is safe, and this story just goes on forever, because this is a gold mine of material.

41 responses to “Rob Ryan’s house is sinking, and there’s a lot of weird stuff involved

  1. The city is already below sea level. Rob Ryan can lay claim to sinking his house, the city and the Saints defense.

  2. Maybe now he will ease up on the deuce eating. Heavens to mergatroid that man is silly!!!

  3. My understanding is it is only the kitchen that is sinking as the engineering firm did not factor in the need for the deluxe load bearing requirements for Rob at the dinner table.

  4. ….or he should’ve had the lap-band surgery like his brother and maybe avoided all of this….

  5. The best thing the Saints could do to improve their defense is to get rid of this fraud. Drew Brees’ window is closing but they’re not goin anywhere with that defense.

  6. I’ve seen this before, the builder will point to the architect(s) and the architect(s) will point to the engineer(s) who will point to the Township, and around and around it goes.

    Where it stops, nobody knows.

  7. As someone who works in real estate, I promise the commenters wouldn’t think this is funny if it were their house. You have no idea at all the ramifications of a sinking house. This isn’t a laughing matter.

  8. motleytrap says:
    Aug 18, 2015 10:34 AM
    “So glad the Rams didn’t hire this guy”

    Saints won more with Ryan than the Rams did without him.

    —————————–

    imagine drew brees on the the rams with that rams defense

  9. So the house that is sinking is not the fault of the guy who developed the land, the guy who designed the house or the guy who built the house???

    because lord knows, everybody would buy a house intentionally with an issue like this.

    not a saints fan or rob ryan fan in the least but i hope these people get held responsible

  10. I grew up in New Orleans during the 70-80s… All of the houses sink. Most houses have to have dirt pumped under them…

    The ground is like toothpaste. You would be silly to build a house in that hurricane alley.

    Besides, he will be gone after this season anyway

  11. This is just another example of there being too many lawyers in the US. They all have to make a living and apparently suing anybody and everybody is the way to do it.

    The joke that keeps writing itself are the lawyers, What do you call a bus load of lawyers driving off a cliff????….

    a good start.

  12. Did the developer, MacPahille, have his attorney’s blessing when he heaved his grenade about Ryan’s attorney? If that attorney is anything like Donald Trump’s pit bull lawyer, this would be an interesting side bar to the season.

  13. A sinking house sucks, I feel sorry for him.

    But with that being said, when homes are built in a giant swamp that is below sea level sink, I honestly can’t say I am surprised.

  14. I grew up in New Orleans during the 70-80s… All of the houses sink. Most houses have to have dirt pumped under them…

    The ground is like toothpaste. You would be silly to build a house in that hurricane alley.
    ============================
    If you grew up in NOLA then you should know that most houses require PILINGS to be placed under the slab. This house unfortunately didn’t. Not all houses sink in NOLA like you want everyone to believe as long as they have PILINGS

  15. “So glad the Rams didn’t hire this guy”

    Actually, they did hire him. For like a day before they figured out he ran a totally different defensive alignment than they wanted or had the personnel to run. How do you interview a guy and have it never come up that he doesn’t do what you need?

  16. mogogo1 says:
    Aug 18, 2015 11:56 AM
    “So glad the Rams didn’t hire this guy”

    Actually, they did hire him. For like a day before they figured out he ran a totally different defensive alignment than they wanted or had the personnel to run. How do you interview a guy and have it never come up that he doesn’t do what you need?
    ===============================

    Really…
    “People sometimes in life change their mind, and I was fine with that,” Fisher said. “I had no problem. If he wanted to go there, that’s fine. If he wanted to stay here, that’s great. We were obviously talking and had a couple of things together and he had a change of heart. That is fine and (I) have respect for that.”

  17. The city should have code requirements detailing the # of pilings and depth per foundation size.

    The architect should have known to include pilings into the plans so the house is structurally sound

    The builder should have known the second he looked at the plans that the foundation was inadequate.

    The cement company hired to pour the foundation should have known it was inadequate when they were bidding out the project.

    Every person up to framing out a new house has training, work experience or schooling on the necessity for pilings. The only person who wouldn’t know about is the guy signing the checks. I feel bad for Ryan and hope that everyone who blundered on this makes it right.

  18. Yea new house should have good foundation, those things aren’t supposed to just sink into the ground. That being said, this kinda thing can be fixed, beginning to finish, within a football season.
    Not the end of the world!

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