1. Patriots (3-0; last week No. 1): The bye week, the one weekend of the year when the Patriots definitely won’t win.
2. Packers (4-0; No. 2): When they envisioned finally beating the 49ers, they likely assumed the 49ers would be a little bit better than they currently are.
3. Broncos (4-0; No. 3): Peyton Manning should be very glad he’ll never have to face the Denver defense.
4. Bengals (4-0; No. 5): They’re separating from the rest of the division; the next goal is to separate from the rest of the conference.
5. Falcons (4-0; No. 6): Matt Ryan, Devonta Freeman, and Julio Jones are the new triplets.
6. Cardinals (3-1; No. 4): We’ll know a lot more about this team after back-to-back games at Detroit and Pittsburgh.
7. Panthers (4-0; No. 10): The schedule gets a lot tougher, soon.
8. Seahawks (2-2; No. 9): Jimmy Graham doesn’t block in the running game. And the offensive line doesn’t block in the passing game.
9. Jets (3-1; No. 14): The Jets hadn’t killed a coach this convincingly since Rich Kotite.
10. Rams (2-2; No. 17): Sunday’s win over the Cardinals inevitably will be bookended by a loss to someone like the Browns.
11. Cowboys (2-2; No. 8): Brandon Weeden deserves the least blame for the last two losses, and he’ll likely get the most of it.
12. Steelers (2-2; No. 11): Yes, Ben Roethlisberger had a phone on the sideline. And he was trying to drop Josh Scobee from his fantasy team.
13. Giants (2-2; No. 25): Unfortunately, “we should be 4-0” doesn’t count as a tiebreaker.
14. Bills (2-2; No. 7): From a coach who accused a referee from being an “over-officious jerk” to a coach who is giving the referees carpal tunnel syndrome from reaching for their flags.
15. Ravens (1-3; No. 15): They’re not dead yet. If they don’t get some help at receiver, they will be.
16. Vikings (2-2; No. 13): After the bye, 2-2 could quickly become 7-2.
17. Chiefs (1-3; No. 12): They’re still haunted by that fumble.
18. Raiders (2-2; No. 18): The fact that they didn’t think it was a trap game made it a perfect trap game.
19. Chargers (2-2; No. 19): The team that once traded the right to make Mike Vick the first pick in the draft welcomes him to town for the first time as a starter.
20. Colts (2-2; No. 20): Barely beating the Titans and Jaguars doesn’t bode well for hanging another banner this year. Unless the banner will say “We beat the Titans and Jaguars.”
21. Browns (1-3; No. 21): Dwayne Bowe said “it starts Sunday.” Maybe on one of these Sundays it will.
22. Washington (2-2; No. 29): Every win delays by roughly a month the possible decision to risk putting RG3 and his $16.1 million injury guarantee on the field.
23. Dolphins (1-3; No. 16): And now comes the artificial improvement as players hope to help the interim head coach keep the job, so they can then go back to underachieving.
24. Titans (1-2; No. 24): With the Colts poised to lose some games and the Texans unsettled at quarterback, the Titans could make things interesting after Marcus Mariota gets his NFL sea legs.
25. Texans (1-3; No. 23): They gave up on Brian Hoyer too soon, and they’re sticking with Ryan Mallett too long.
26. Jaguars (1-3; No. 26): Maybe they should have kept Josh Scobee, after all.
27. Eagles (1-3; No. 22): Unfortunately, “we’re a few missed field goals away from being 3-1” doesn’t count as a tiebreaker.
28. Buccaneers (1-3; No. 30): Baseball may be looking pretty good to Jameis right about now.
29. Saints (1-3; No. 31): With the Panthers and Falcons each 4-0, it’s going to be a tough climb to the top of the division.
30. Bears (1-3; No. 32): Suddenly, Jay Cutler doesn’t seem like such a horrible option.
31. 49ers (1-3; No. 27): “Losing with class” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
32. Lions (0-4; No. 28): For a change, the Lions have someone but themselves to blame for a tough loss.