1. Patriots (5-0; last week No. 1): Revenge is a dish best served when the adversary runs one of the dumbest plays in the history of organized sports.
2. Bengals (6-0; No. 3): At some point, the Bengals will be on to New England. And that could be bad news for the Patriots.
3. Packers (6-0; No. 2): It’s hard to hold the No. 2 spot when giving up more than 500 yards passing.
4. Panthers (5-0; No. 7): Cam Newton is old enough to make a clutch throw in a hostile environment.
5. Broncos (6-0; No. 4): Even if they lose no games in the regular season, one and done is looming in January.
6. Jets (4-1; No. 8): When does the Jets coach start spouting off about how much he hates Bill Belichick and Tom Brady? Oh wait, that guy’s gone.
7. Steelers (4-2; No. 10): The Steelers haven’t won with this many quarterbacks since the days of Bradshaw, Gilliam, and Hanratty.
8. Falcons (5-1; No. 5): The only good news from Thursday night is there likely won’t be another Falcons punter immortalized by a statue outside the Superdome.
9. Cardinals (4-2; No. 6): Maybe the Cardinals really haven’t beaten anyone.
10. Vikings (3-2; No. 15): With Mike Wallace, Stefon Diggs, and Charles Johnson, the Vikings could have the best three wideouts in the NFL.
11. Rams (2-3; No. 12): The good news? The Rams finally have climbed past Seattle and San Francisco in the standings. The bad news? Both of those teams stink right now.
12. Eagles (3-3; No. 24): If they can win by 20 when Sam Bradford throws three interceptions, how would they do if he threw, you know, none?
13. Cowboys (2-3; No. 14): At some point, they’ll be healthy. And they should then be able to run away with the division.
14. Giants (3-3; No. 9): How does a team go from looking so bad to so good to so bad?
15. Dolphins (2-3; No. 22): If he puked on his shoes before the game, the Gatorade shower washed it off.
16. Seahawks (2-4; No. 11): The Legion of Boom is about to become the Legion of Booed.
17. Bills (3-3; No. 13): First, Sammy Watkins. Next, Mario Williams. Who’s the next Bills player to publicly complain?
18. Raiders (2-3; No. 18): A playoff run remains possible, but the wins need to start coming this Sunday in San Diego.
19. Colts (3-3; No. 16): For his next trick, Chuck Pagano will make his job disappear.
20. Browns (2-4; No. 17): Too many close games, too many failures to win close games.
21. Chargers (2-4; No. 19): Philip Rivers’ new contract should have included a clause that voids it immediately if he ever throws for 500 yards and no interceptions and the rest of the team isn’t good enough to manage the win.
22. Washington (2-4; No. 21): Why is Kirk Cousins still playing? Because the longer he plays the greater the chances that RGIII won’t.
23. Saints (2-4; No. 31): Another week, another Super Bowl rematch involving teams that don’t have much of a chance to get back in 2015.
24. Bears (2-4; No. 23): Hey, at least they filled their quota for pre-Thanksgiving wins.
25. Buccaneers (2-3; No. 25): Jameis Winston quietly is putting together a good rookie year.
26. 49ers (2-4; No. 27): If you’d told 49ers fans before the season that the team would have the same record as the Seahawks heading into their Week Seven showdown, 49ers fans would have been very excited.
27. Texans (2-4; No. 29): Yes, 26 teams passed on DeAndre Hopkins.
28. Ravens (1-5; No. 20): That was the worst Harbaugh Brothers weekend since the 49ers and Ravens lost conference championship games on the same day in January 2012.
29. Lions (1-5; No. 32): The Lions finally figured out how to win a game — play in a way that suggests they really don’t want to.
30. Chiefs (1-5; No. 26): The Sea of Red may soon be demanding some slips of pink.
31. Titans (1-4; No. 28): Since starting 4-0 with the Cardinals in 2012, Ken Whisenhunt is 4-29 as a head coach.
32. Jaguars (1-5; No. 30): Do they take the pools to London?