1. Panthers (12-0; last week No. 1): As long as Ted Ginn has more drops than Cam Newton has concussions, the Panthers should be fine.
2. Broncos (10-2; No. 2): “Hey my foot feels pretty good” will be the lyrics of the next Nationwide commercial jingle.
3. Bengals (10-2; No. 4): Just like 2005, they may beat the Steelers in December, and then possibly lose to them in January.
4. Cardinals (10-2; No. 5): With another set of back-to-back prime-time games coming up, America may be on the verge of having a new Team.
5. Patriots (10-2; No. 3): “My husband cannot f–king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. Oh, wait. Maybe he can.”
6. Packers (8-4; No. 7): At least all those video games had the team’s youngsters believing that a Hail Mary could work.
7. Seahawks (7-5; No. 8): Nothing like a thrashing of the Vikings at Minnesota to make the Seahawks realize they can win on the road in January.
8. Chiefs (7-5; No. 9): Indianapolis playoff redemption is looming.
9. Steelers (7-5; No. 10): Ten years after they won the Super Bowl as the sixth seed, they could do it again.
10. Jets (7-5; No. 15): If the season ended today, they’d make the playoffs. When the season actually ends, they won’t.
11. Vikings (8-4; No. 6): Maybe Cordarrelle Patterson will convert one of his 10 kickoff returns on Thursday night into a touchdown, too.
12. Bills (6-6; No. 14): On Sunday, LeSean McCoy will be hoping for a sweep in the direction of the Philly sideline. Right toward where the coach stands.
13. Colts (6-6; No. 11): Andrew Luck’s kidney is getting more and more unlacerated by the minute.
14. Texans (6-6; No. 12): Ready for prime or not, here the Texans come.
15. Buccaneers (6-6; No. 20): Jameis Winston may not become Peyton Manning, but he’s definitely not Ryan Leaf.
16. Raiders (5-7; No. 13): On one hand, the team is showing improvement. On the other hand, it has blown plenty of opportunities to become a contender.
17. Bears (5-7; No. 16): They squandered in one afternoon all goodwill that they picked up by beating the Packers on Brett Favre night.
18. Eagles (5-7; No. 26): If Chip Kelly isn’t going to yell at the players, someone needed to. Even if that someone was the owner.
19. Washington (5-7; No. 17): If Washington can’t beat Matt Cassel and company at home in the regular season, good luck beating the No. 5 seed at home in the postseason.
20. Giants (5-7; No. 18): Winning two Super Bowls is sort of like diplomatic immunity — and Danny Glover may soon be revoking it.
21. Falcons (6-6; No. 19): When Mt. Arthur explodes, there’s a chance everybody gets fired.
22. Dolphins (5-7; No. 24): Sunday’s win without Bill Lazor only makes the decision to keep him around post-Philbin all the more confusing.
23. Lions (4-8; No. 21): Could one play determine the fate of a coaching staff? Depending on the magnitude of the play and the blunder that resulted in it, yes.
24. 49ers (4-8; No. 29): It may have been a “very fun win,” but it probably wasn’t a very fun time reviewing the Twitter responses.
25. Cowboys (4-8; No. 30): Could this team actually qualify for a chance to be dismantled by Seattle in the wild-card round?
26. Ravens (4-8; No. 22): Buck Allen is one of the only bright spots this season.
27. Rams (4-8; No. 23): Far more confusing that the team’s current predicament is how it won four of its first seven games.
28. Jaguars (4-8; No. 25): Hey, at least they were relevant into December.
29. Saints (4-8; No. 27): There was a reason the Seahawks and then the Patriots let Brandon Browner leave. The Saints are now realizing that, every week.
30. Titans (3-9; No. 31): At least Marcus Mariota has finally matched Peyton Manning for rookie wins.
31. Chargers (3-9; No. 28): Tom Telesco should be very happy he got his extension before this season started.
32. Browns (2-10; No. 32): Is the punishment for Johnny Manziel not playing him, or is it playing him?