1. Patriots (11-2; last week No. 3): Bill Belichick was as happy after the win over Baltimore as he ever is. And he still came off as miserable.
2. Chiefs (10-3; No. 4): There’s still a big gap from No. 2 to No. 1.
3. Cowboys (11-2; No. 1): Once is an accident, twice is a trend, three times is Tony Romo time.
4. Giants (9-4; No. 6): No matter what the Cowboys accomplish this year, their story can’t be told without the phrase “swept by the Giants.”
5. Raiders (10-3; No. 2): Derek Carr’s pinkie could make it hard for the Raiders to give the rest of the league the middle finger.
6. Lions (9-4; No. 8): Matthew Stafford’s middle finger could make it hard for the Lions to give the Packers the middle finger.
7. Buccaneers (8-5; No. 9): It’s the biggest game in years for a Buccaneers team that could leave Dallas with the confidence needed to win in January.
8. Seahawks (8-4-1; No. 5): Russell Wilson played better when he was hurt.
9. Broncos (8-5; No. 7): Lose to the Patriots on Sunday, and the Broncos may not get the chance to lose to the Patriots in the playoffs.
10. Falcons (8-5; No. 10): The schedule is softening, and the playoffs are beckoning.
11. Steelers (8-5; No. 12): Le’Veon Bell is making a big push for the big contract it didn’t seem he’d ever get.
12. Dolphins (8-5; No. 13): If the Dolphins make the playoffs with Matt Moore, Adam Gase isn’t the coach of the year; he’s the coach of the decade.
13. Packers (7-6; No. 14): The path is still in place to a division title — as long as Aaron Rodgers is able to walk on it.
14. Washington (7-5-1; No. 15): If they don’t make the playoffs, at least they’ll have extra time to figure out what to do about Kirk Cousins.
15. Ravens (7-6; No. 11): The playoffs start in Pittsburgh on Christmas Day.
16. Texans (7-6; No. 18): What’s better? Not making the playoffs at all or losing by 30 at home?
17. Titans (7-6; No. 19): The best team in the AFC South still has a decent chance to win the division.
18. Vikings (7-6; No. 20): They need to win out and get some help to get to the playoffs. And if they get to the playoffs, they’ll need a lot of help.
19. Bills (6-7; No. 16): Rex Ryan had better fill up on those wings while he still can.
20. Colts (6-7; No. 17): Chuck Pagano says there are no trophies for second place. So what do they give you for third place?
21. Bengals (5-7-1; No. 21): The Bengals get a chance to screw things up for both the Steelers and the Ravens, which is better than losing in the playoffs for a sixth straight year.
22. Cardinals (5-7-1; No. 22): Tony Romo would look pretty good with a mildly perturbed bird on the side of his helmet.
23. Eagles (5-8; No. 23): Well, at least they won’t have to worry about Jim Schwartz being snatched up as a head coach elsewhere.
24. Panthers (5-8; No. 26): Not quitting on 2016 is a good sign for 2017.
25. Chargers (5-8; No. 24): Has any other franchise with a true franchise quarterback ever struggled so much to succeed?
26. Saints (5-8; No. 25): Apparently, yes. (Except for 2009.)
27. Jets (4-9; No. 29): Winning late in a lost season and getting lower draft position is the ultimate Jets move.
28. Rams (4-9; No. 27): Please let me know if I ever piss off Eric Dickerson.
29. Bears (3-10; No. 28): Ten years since their last Super Bowl appearance, the Bears feel more than 10 years away from their next one.
30. Jaguars (2-11; No. 30): They’re in every game. Which makes their inability to win any games even more confounding.
31. 49ers (1-12; No. 31): What’s worse, losing 12 in a row or being the only team that has lost to the Browns in their last 24 games?
32. Browns (0-13; No. 32): The holidays bring about feelings of nostalgia. For Browns fans, the years 1996 through 1998 conjure some of the best memories.