With Hall of Fame running back O.J. Simpson closing in on a shot at getting out of prison in Nevada after serving nine years for a memorabilia heist so goofy it would have been summarily rejected as a Sopranos plot line, an even goofier fact could have kept Simpson from getting out. Supposedly.
According to Josh Peter of USA Today, a retired prison guard claims that an overly zealous colleague rescinded a citation that could have, according to the guard, made it harder for Simpson to get out of prison.
Jeffrey Felix, who previously wrote a book about his experiences with Simpson as an inmate (which instantly should make anyone suspicious of his effort to inject himself into the story), claims that his colleague was going to write Simpson up for eating a cookie that another inmate had taken from the kitchen. The guard considered the cookie contraband, and prepared the documentation.
Felix claims he talked the guard out of going through with it, telling her that she’d be known as the “Cookie Monster” among the prisoners. So she did. Which presumably will help Simpson get out later this year, following his Thursday parole hearing.
Unless, of course, an overly zealous member of the parole board decides to ask Simpson about having contraband in his cell based on Felix’s public comments — and if enough of the members of the parole board don’t mind being known as Cookie Monsters for keeping in prison a guy who ate a forbidden cookie. And, you know, killed a couple of people.