1. Chiefs (5-0; No. 1): A 2005 first-round pick is a very viable MVP candidate.
2. Packers (4-1; No. 4): A 2005 first-round pick is a very viable MVP candidate.
3. Falcons (3-1; No. 3): The early bye came at a good time, given all the injuries. But now they have to play 12 straight games.
4. Panthers (4-1; No. 6): Playing the role of a modern-day Bobby Riggs, Cam followed an unforced error with a 120-mph serve.
5. Eagles (4-1; No. 9): Get used to the Eagles getting off to great starts to the season.
6. Broncos (3-1; No. 7): They should face the Giants with 10 men on defense, just for fun.
7. Patriots (3-2; No. 12): The real chase is for the No. 1 seed, and they have a 2.5-game deficit to erase over only 11 games.
8. Lions (3-2; No. 8): Every time they force me to believe in them, they give me a reason not to.
9. Jaguars (3-2; No. 20): They’ve finally figured out that the best way to use their quarterback is to use him as little as possible.
10. Bills (3-2; No. 2): Did LeSean McCoy shout,”Come talk to the losers!” after Sunday’s game?
11. Washington (2-2; No. 11): They could be better, could be worse, definitely are in second place in the division. Which is stunning.
12. Steelers (3-2; No. 5): So does Antonio Brown call out Ben this week for being a distraction?
13. Seahawks (3-2; No. 17): They won’t be surrendering their dominance of the division without a street fight.
14. Texans (2-3; No. 10): Despite the big-name injuries and the defeat to the Chiefs, Deshaun Watson gives any Texans fan reason for optimism.
15. Vikings (3-2; No. 18): Sam Bradford hadn’t spent that much time in the fetal position since exiting the womb.
16. Rams (3-2; No. 13): It was supposed to be a statement game; instead, it raised real questions about whether this team is as good as we thought it was.
17. Cowboys (2-3; No. 14): Jerry Jones also should order his players to stop taking a knee when up by double digits.
18. Raiders (2-3; No. 15): A pair of lame duck seasons mixed with an underachieving team could lead to an ugly mess, sooner than later.
19. Titans (2-3; No. 16): Given Marcus Mariota‘s playing style, the Titans need a better backup quarterback. If only there was an available free agent with similar playing style.
20. Jets (3-2; No. 24): If the plan was to create the impression of tanking in order to get people to claim that they were tanking in order to motivate the team to not tank, congratulations.
21. Saints (2-2; No. 21): The annulment with Adrian Peterson finally happened, four weeks later than it should have.
22. Buccaneers (2-2; No. 19): They should have won.
23. Dolphins (2-2; No. 23): They should have lost.
24. Ravens (3-2; No. 25): They should bottle whatever they discovered on Sunday for future use.
25. Bengals (2-3; No. 26): The “Throw the Ball to A.J. Green” strategy is working.
26. Cardinals (2-3; No. 22): Adrian Peterson and Chris Johnson are on the same roster. Until Chris Johnson is released.
27. Chargers (1-4; No. 28): Three road games at home prepared them well for a road game on the road.
28. Colts (2-3; No. 29): They just might be able to tread water long enough to Andrew Luck to come back and get injured again.
29. Bears (1-4; No. 27): The fact that the Bears are excited to have a quarterback who threw a game-deciding interception in his debut shows just how bad the Bears have been at the position.
30. 49ers (0-5; No. 31): It’s getting harder and harder to locate the potential wins on the schedule.
31. Browns (0-5; No. 32): The Browns may bench DeShone against the Texans to make less glaring their failure to draft Deshaun.
32. Giants (0-5; No. 30): This season has been bad enough to make Ben McAdoo’s hair fall out. If it wasn’t frozen in place by Brylcreem.