1. Patriots (2-0; last week No. 1): It’s 2007 all over again; the Patriots have outscored their opponents by a combined score of 76-3. (It’s 89-6 if the Super Bowl gets thrown in, too.)
2. Chiefs (2-0; No. 2): Their offense is so good that they only needed to use it for one quarter.
3. Cowboys (2-0; No. 4): Dak Prescott is playing his way into a contract worth even more than Russell Wilson‘s.
4. Rams (2-0; No. 5): It may not be sustainable, but 2-0 is still 2-0.
5. Seahawks (2-0; No. 6): Russell Wilson continues to be underappreciated.
6. Eagles (1-1; No. 3): Good news — Carson Wentz is still healthy. Bad news — among his teammates, he’s in the minority.
7. Packers (2-0; No. 9): The “score a quick 21 and hang on for three-and-a-half quarters” plan isn’t ideal.
8. Ravens (2-0; No. 11): The last quarterback taken in round one of the 2018 draft could end up being the best.
9. Saints (1-1; No. 7): With Sean Payton drawing up the plays, the Saints will be better than expected without Drew Brees.
10. Vikings (1-1; No. 8): The defense is good enough. The running game is good enough. The receivers are good enough. The offensive line is good enough. The special teams are good enough. The coaching is good enough.
11. Chargers (1-1; No. 10): They lost a regular-season game played outside of L.A. for the first time since December 16, 2017.
12. Bears (1-1; No. 13): The city known for rigged elections won a game that surely seemed that way to Broncos fans.
13. Colts (1-1; No. 15): Great leadership overcomes bad kicking, apparently.
14. Titans (1-1; No. 12): That pyrotechnics mishap was a harbinger of doom.
15. Browns (1-1; No. 16): They still have flaws, but we got glimpses on Monday night of what they can become.
16. Bills (2-0; No. 18): They still don’t have an NFL championship, but by beating the Giants and Jets at MetLife Stadium, the Bills officially have taken home the Snoopy Trophy.
17. 49ers (2-0; No. 20): Kyle Shanahan will get plenty coach of the year votes, if he can keep this going.
18. Steelers (0-2; No. 14): Whoever thinks the Steelers are done should look at what they did in 1989.
19. Falcons (1-1; No. 24): Julio Jones earned a big chunk of that $66 million in one play on Sunday night.
20. Texans (1-1; No. 21): If CBS had placed a higher priority on that game, there would have been a camera angle that would have caused them to lose.
21. Jaguars (0-2; No. 17): If CBS had placed a higher priority on that game, there would have been a camera angle that would have caused them to win.
22. Lions (1-0-1; No. 27): Second place in the NFC North through two games is a lot better than anyone expected.
23. Raiders (1-1; No. 22): For their last game ever on a dirt infield, the Raiders left behind something significantly browner.
24. Broncos (0-2; No. 25): The Broncos are 0-2 for the first time since 1999, and they shouldn’t be.
25. Buccaneers (1-1; No. 29): In perhaps the biggest game of his career, Jameis Winston unexpectedly delivered.
26. Bengals (0-2; No. 23): 15,000 no shows for the home opener means that, by December, there may be fewer than 15,000 in the stands.
27. Panthers (0-2; No. 19): If Cam Newton isn’t injured, then the only explanation is that he’s not very good.
28. Cardinals (0-1-1; No. 28): So far, so good for Kyler Murray and Kliff Kingsbury — record notwithstanding.
29. Jets (0-2; No. 26): If you think 0-2 looks bad, look at the upcoming schedule and apply common sense.
30. Washington (0-2; No. 30): Dysfunctional team keeps doing dysfunctional things.
31. Giants (0-2; No. 31): The Daniel Jones era begins, only two weeks too late.
32. Dolphins (0-2; No. 32): If they were actual dolphins, they’d be deliberately swimming right into the tuna nets.