Bills hope the flying sex toy tradition ends tomorrow

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It really and truly is a tradition unlike any other.

Beginning in 2016, Bills fans started greeting Patriots quarterback Tom Brady during his annual visit to Buffalo by throwing a certain sex toy onto the field.

On the initial occasion, the reaction was disbelief, in the “is that what I think it is?” sort of way. And it was removed with a swift kick from one of the officials.

It has continued in 2017 and 2018, and there’s no reason to think that, of all the thousands of rabid Bills fans supporting their 3-0 team, none of them will smuggle the rubber device past security and into New Era Field, with the goal of extending the streak to four years in a row.

The Bills hope it doesn’t happen.

“It’s Patriots week, and that we have to contemplate if some fan is going throw a dildo on the field is ridiculous,” Bills chief administrative officer Dave Wheat told Tim Graham of TheAthletic.com.

The concern is less aesthetic than practical. The Bills don’t want anyone to get injured by stepping on a non-functioning Whizzinator.

“What if Josh Allen is running, steps on it and tears his ACL?” Wheat said. “What are the ramifications? What if Tom Brady got injured? . . . . This community would never live that down. People need to realize these are professional athletes, and you’re literally putting their health and safety at risk.”

There’s also very real risk for those who would throw the foreign object onto the field. Hub and Dillon Hayes, the brothers who started the tradition three years ago thanks to inspiration from a Halloween costume, received a letter not long after the incident from Commissioner Roger Goodell informing them that they have been banned from every NFL stadium, and that if they attend a game anywhere they will be arrested for trespassing. (I suddenly have a vision of security workers at every stadium looking at every face to see if it matches that of the Typhoid Mary of dildo throwers.)

They apparently have made it back inside New Era Stadium since then, and they wouldn’t comment to Graham on whether they’ll be back on Sunday.

Some Bills players hope that the flying phalluses won’t be back on Sunday.

“We try to keep it a family environment, for crying out loud,” tight end Lee Smith told Graham. “I have four kids that’ll be in the stands, two daughters. I’m not a huge fan of some idiot throwing a dildo onto the field while they’re watching their dad play.”

Like it or not, some Bills fans surely will happily and/or drunkenly be adding his (or her) name to one of the most unlikely chains in NFL history when the Patriots show up on Sunday.

71 responses to “Bills hope the flying sex toy tradition ends tomorrow

  1. It’s also immature. And he’s right. It’s ridiculous that they have to deal with this and ridiculous to me that the sports media actually talk about it and give these idiots attention

  2. I’m a Pats fan and I could see the humor in this when it started way back. But it’s gone a little stale (limp?) now, not really funny any more.

    Should be a good game tomorrow, I expect the Bills to play hard.

  3. It is funny, but something tells me this is yet another double standard in this league. If a Patriots or Cowboys fan did this, they’d be grilled by the league, banned for life, and attacked all over social media for doing it.

  4. Let’s concentrate on cheering our team to victory and throwing crap onto the field. If we are to beat the raining champs, we’ll need the 12th man in full force.

  5. Fans need to point out anyone who tosses an object onto the field or onto the ice. The injury potential from this is enormous.

  6. Seems odd that a taxpayer can get banned by a corporation from stadiums largely built with taxpayer money. It must be great to be rich.

  7. Let’s concentrate on cheering our team to victory and throwing crap onto the field. If we are to beat the raining champs, we’ll need the 12th man in full force.
    _______________________
    You could have 12 men on the field on every play and still have no chance. The Bengals and Jets almost beat the Bill’s.

  8. Huge injury risk. We need Josh Allen to stay ERECT and not have to LIMP off of the field without HARDly scoring any touchdowns. Afterall,as a fan, it is a PLEASURE to watch the Bills give the Pats STIFF competition as only the Bills and their fans can. In Buffalo there is no SUBSTITUTE for the passion of those great fans. Critics need to lighten UP a little bit.

  9. These stories are fun because men show how unhappy
    their women are with their vocal anti-sex toy howling.

    Everything is better with sex toys.

  10. Give them a break. When you have one franchise who it the epitome of success and greatness while their ken team is the epitome of failure, they have to find their fun elsewhere. They are certainly not getting it from the product on the field. Sorry Bills fans, your season comes back down to reality tomorrow. Tom Brady will remind you of your place in the division.

    #kisstherings #goatqb #goatcoach #goatfranchise

  11. Please,… please, If it has to be done, fans should be encouraged to use
    only use unlubed rubber items, to avoid injury and unnecessary slippage.

  12. It really and truly is a tradition unlike any other
    ——————
    I wouldn’t go that far. . . Octopi are thrown onto the ice in Detroit, and Buffalonians are known to liberally swap out their sex toys for cold cephalopods, so there’s that connection between traditions.
    It’s still pretty weird though.

  13. It’s not that hard to see the humor in this.
    I mean, it take some balls to pull off.
    But any one doing this is probably a dick.

  14. Another example of the Bills telling their fans how to fan. Let me fan as I wish and I let you fan as you wish. Don’t be telling me how to fan. Now don’t forget to bring your toy on Sunday!! We gonna all fan big time.

  15. It’s a joke. Everybody needs to lighten up an get the stick outta their ass.

    Not a Bills fan or a Patriots fan, but come on…that is Hilarious!!!!

    If you got a kid, tell’em people are throwing dolls on the field….Oh, and tell ’em not to touch ’em cause you don’t know where they’ve been!

  16. As a Pats fan I find this totally uncalled for and very childlike behavior, it should have no place in the game…… Ah, who am I kidding. I find this totally hilarious!! Keep up the good work Bills Fans! You guys are CRAZY!!! (meant in a good way). Good luck tomorrow. May the best team win.

  17. It’s pretty funny when players try to bring up the “family environment” of football, and how we need to respect it

    forget about human beings missiling each other at 15-20 miles an hour, or even the endless flow of toradol that allows us to enjoy this spectacle every Sunday. Nope, dildos are definitely the antithesis of family values!!!

  18. This is like any really good joke. The first time is hilarious. The second time it’s still kinda funny but by the time you get to the fourth and fifth time it kinda loses it humor. As a Pats fan the first time I saw this it was probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed watching a football game. It’s honestly better than any blooper reel the NFL has ever shown. But like any good joke when you know the punchline and when it’s coming it doesn’t have the same effect. I’d like to Buffalo fans come up with something new. You know there’s a bunch of fans up there trying so hard to top this.

  19. If you got em, throw em. I think this is hilarious. I hope the fans wait and throw them after the first play of the game so that the ref needs to warn the fans about “throwing dildos onto the field”. I am definitely watching this game now.

  20. Between the flying dildos and the drunk pregame WWF style table smashes, If I wasn’t a die hard Saints fan, I’d be a Bills fan.

  21. Bills fans are truly the best – no tailgating experience really compares. Crazy, fun-loving lunatics. There is something about the experience of the past 20 years or so that has really galvanized something in the fans. No matter where I am in the country, if I see someone w/ a Bills hat or shirt, it’s like seeing family. Such a bond that’s borne of what we’ve all been through.

    But this “tradition” has to end. It’s kind of a chuckle, but it’s also a game people take their families to.

  22. Cleon Ross says:

    September 28, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    Clearly the Buffalo security is as drunk as the fans to keep allowing this to happen.
    ———–
    How are you going to stop them from bringing them in? Theres no metal to set off the metal detector and if it’s their pants going in what is security supposed to do? Tell them to drop their pants so they can make see what the bulge is in the front of their pants? Yea that would go over well

  23. Sunday Swami says:
    September 28, 2019 at 3:02 pm
    Cleon Ross says:

    September 28, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    Clearly the Buffalo security is as drunk as the fans to keep allowing this to happen.
    ———–
    How are you going to stop them from bringing them in? Theres no metal to set off the metal detector and if it’s their pants going in what is security supposed to do? Tell them to drop their pants so they can make see what the bulge is in the front of their pants? Yea that would go over well

    —————————-
    I would be so flattered.

  24. billsrthefuture says:
    September 28, 2019 at 3:00 pm
    Bills fans are truly the best – no tailgating experience really compares. Crazy, fun-loving lunatics. There is something about the experience of the past 20 years or so that has really galvanized something in the fans.

    ———————
    Honestly as a Patriots fan that has gone up there decked out in Pats gear more than once I will agree. We all have a laugh and some good natured jabs, throw a football around. Then all go watch a game everyone rooting for who they want, and no animosity. Everyone is a football fan first no matter what team we root for. Its also all people who know how to root against an opponent without being antagonized by their very existence on earth.

  25. Jeez, I’m a Pats fan and I find it hilarious. Kind of waiting for them to put some in one of those T shirt cannons next.

    If the Bills ever win a Superbowl they should petition the NFL for Phallus shaped confetti.

    We are getting waaay to uptight in the U.S.

  26. As a Bills fan that has been to over a hundred games, and many across the country, our fans and our tailgating is by a MILE better than any other city.Not even close.
    You have to love small town cities with two big league clubs !!! What other city can say that, or fill our stadiums to capacity while watching below average teams…NOWHERE.
    I think we should change it up however. Throw that dirty dildo into the box that Giselle Bunyon will be in. Hit her right in the melon with it !!!!
    Go Bills !!!

  27. Honestly those that don’t like it and ant it to stop the only weapon that might do that as apathy. Just stop caring, shrug it off without even acknowledgement. Then you are not providing what the throwers feed on and it should wither and die. And if it doesn’t then the fact you don’t care any more is your power.

  28. The Great Cornholio says:
    September 28, 2019 at 3:27 pm
    Sunday Swami says:
    September 28, 2019 at 3:02 pm
    Cleon Ross says:

    September 28, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    Clearly the Buffalo security is as drunk as the fans to keep allowing this to happen.
    ———–
    How are you going to stop them from bringing them in? Theres no metal to set off the metal detector and if it’s their pants going in what is security supposed to do? Tell them to drop their pants so they can make see what the bulge is in the front of their pants? Yea that would go over well

    —————————-
    I would be so flattered.
    ————
    Hey if you want an old fat security guard asking you to drop your pants well you do you buddy.

  29. tylawspick6 says:
    September 28, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    the frat boy table smashing thing by the millennials is so stupid
    ————————————————————–

    Yet not as stupid as just about every one of your posts!

  30. It is freaking funny! But, they do have a point that it could cause an injury on the field,
    if it’s stepped on. I have no idea how they know that; I’ve never stepped on a dick before. Maybe it should be thrown on the sideline instead of the playing field? Would that then be known for getting some on the side?

  31. Sunday Swami says:
    September 28, 2019 at 5:59 pm
    The Great Cornholio says:
    September 28, 2019 at 3:27 pm
    Sunday Swami says:
    September 28, 2019 at 3:02 pm
    Cleon Ross says:

    September 28, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    Clearly the Buffalo security is as drunk as the fans to keep allowing this to happen.
    ———–
    How are you going to stop them from bringing them in? Theres no metal to set off the metal detector and if it’s their pants going in what is security supposed to do? Tell them to drop their pants so they can make see what the bulge is in the front of their pants? Yea that would go over well

    —————————-
    I would be so flattered.
    ————
    Hey if you want an old fat security guard asking you to drop your pants well you do you buddy.

    —————————
    Buffalo uses SI swimsuit models for security. Even the rowdiest fans will follow their instructions without hesitation so crowd control becomes easy and peaceful. Its genius really.

  32. Uh – No further evidence is needed obviously when the texts, destroyed evidence (obstruction), video of equipment guys taking post tested balls into a private structure etc. were more than enough evidence, and the result again speaks for itself..guilty and punished. The evidence was already clear, all subsequent ‘noise’ was a pointless show as a result of this. Had the more than compelling evidence that Judge Chin also agreed with not been there, maybe some other dog and pony show would have been considered. Over. Full Cloth.

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